The Keeper's Korner

It's a Name ... It's a Meme ... It's a Name Meme!!

Sat, 13 Jun 2009 18:27:02 GMT

This amused me. *grins*

(Stolen from raputathebuta , who stole it from bananabehr )

1.YOUR REAL NAME:
Cindy

2.WITNESS PROTECTION NAME:(mother and fathers middle names)
Rose Leroy

3.NASCAR NAME:(first name of your mother's dad/mom, father's dad)
Ike Ralph

4.STAR WARS NAME:(the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name)
Henci

5.DETECTIVE NAME:(favorite color, favorite animal)
Red Bear

6.SOAP OPERA NAME:(middle name, town where you were born)
Rose Kansas City (oh, yeah, that will earn me a secondary character role that never gets kissed!)

7.SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd fav color, fav drink, add "THE" to the beginning)
The Pink Tea *sigh*

8.FLY NAME:(first 2 letters of your 1ast name, last 2 letters of your last name)
Heon

9.STREET NAME:(fav ice cream flavor, fav cookie)
Everything But The Thin Mint *facepalm*

10. PORN NAME: (1st pet's name, street you grew up on)
Tinkerbell Lively (Not gonna say a word!)

11.YOUR GANGSTA NAME:(first 3 letters of last name plus izzle)
Henizzle

It's Thursday, Therefore It MUST Be Supernatural

Thu, 23 Apr 2009 16:05:42 GMT

Yay! It's that day ... that special, special day. That day that brings us a new Supernatural episode!

Excitement reigns. Anticipation is reaching it's climax.

Or does it?

Cause, you know ... this episode tonight marks the beginning of the final four ... those four episodes designed to create mayhem and mischief with our hearts and our emotions ... to wrap around our minds and consume our thoughts with all things Winchester driving us ever further toward that brink of sweet release when suddenly ... at the end of these four new episodes ... the ending smacks us up side the head like a blasted semi pounding into our sweet Impala crashing our dreams, sending us spinning uncontrollably into the darkness known as "summer" that most people who are not Supernaturally obsessed look forward to with anticipation yet we can only look at and see the vastness wasteland called "No New Episodes" or ... gasp ... *whispers* ... Hiatus.

*shudders*

Perhaps we need another week before the new episodes start. I may need more time practicing my holding of my breath.

*grins*

Okie doke ... I promised that I would post something today. I've been trying to decide what to write and how to do it. I have so many notes to sort through ... an overview of where we've been this season? ... a jotting of several observations from the last few weeks? ... a full-on ramble from an episode?

Then I pulled out a piece that I had started after our last new episode aired. It's not very long (in comparison to some things I've done) but it might amuse & entertain as well as remind where we left off and prep for what's to come.

So, here it is ...

911 … Please state the nature of your emergency ...

Help. I need an oxygen ... I’ve stopped breathing …

Excuse me ... did you say that YOU have stopped breathing?

Yes! I can't breathe. I need help. Now! Air … Oxygen … Right now!

Ma'am, if you are speaking ... you are breathing.

Says you. That's only because I've got a paper bag over my head and defibrillator paddles duct taped to my chest. When I pass out my hand hits the button and zaps me back.

Uh … Huh … Ahem … can you tell me what happened?

I have stopped breathing. Why is this so hard for you to understand?

Ma'am ... I'm going to dispatch someone but I need more details as to the nature of the problem.

I. Have. Stopped. BREATHING!. What more do you need to know?

How about what occurred to cause you to stop breathing?

Where do I start?

The beginning is usually a good place.

Please don't make me do that ... that could take hours … 26 years is a long time …

26 years?

Yes … 26 years … of course, technically it’s only been 4 years but really it’s just this last year that has been amped further up than ever before and it’s tonight’s episode that finally did it.

Episode?

Yeah ... episode. Supernatural was on tonight.

And you stopped breathing because of a television show?

Right.

Are you sure it wasn't a medical show you were watching?

Seriously? I don't think so. Why would slutty doctors keep me from breathing unless it was because I was laughing so hard at what they were trying to make plausible?

So, you’re saying a supernatural show caused you to stop breathing?

Right. Only it’s not A supernatural show, it’s THE show called Supernatural.

And what exactly caused you to stop breathing?

They did it again.

What again?

They took a seemingly random, amusing script, and … with the power of performances and direction … twisted my amusement to angst … replacing my steady heartbeat with a pattern of dread which, in turn caused me to stop breathing … twice … first with Sam … and then … the ending … oh, this is sooo not good. Plus … there’s Castiel … and he said … and then Dean … and he IS different but not the way Sam thinks and yet he’s the same … ‘cause Dean’s still trying to save Sam and then … the ending … Zachariah and Prophet Chuck and what did he see … foreboding … and I can’t breathe anymore. So perhaps you could step up getting someone here with oxygen … because I REALLY need to watch it again.

**********

Humor has become an extraordinary art form with Supernatural. Sneakily, they draw upon the theme and the drive of each season … going from making us laugh freely and out loud as The Boys, back together again after years of being apart, prank each other as they did when they were younger to being distracted by the events of their lives and having a Trickster lead them around by the Weekly World News. The writers have poked fun at themselves, the producers, and the directors in a relief episode giving The Boys, and us, a break from the heartache before plunging us ever forward to the climax of the season. Then, as things became more intense and the boys lives went from simply searching for their father and then hunting the YED to the very real possibility that Dean would actually go to hell and leaving Sam alone and on his own, the humor turned darker as once again the Trickster was involved bringing a macabre humor for fans until the episode deftly was twisted and the horror of The Boy’s reality was woven through Sam’s realization of what life would be like without Dean. To lighten things, the Ghostfacers were visited as a spoof of television network’s reality programming, yet the undercurrent remained… Dean’s deal was still there … time was marching forward … The Boys, and us, had a momentary break from the fear and angst before being plunged once again toward a season finale which took our hearts to new levels of horror and ache.

Then came this season and humor has been woven in brief spurts … laughable situations masking underlying pain, angst, fear and horror … until The Monster at the End of This Book. Definite laughter bubbles through the hilarity of The Boy’s situations in episodes such as Yellow Fever and Wishful Thinking, yet each episode also carried a weight … an inescapable darkness … almost as though the laughter were forced … attempts to return to the Winchester version of normal … so many things seemed to remind us of that first season of The Boys coming back together after being apart, however this time it seemed as though darkness hovered on the edges. Always hovering in the back of our minds (and theirs) was Dean’s time in hell and Sam’s harnessing of the dark powers within himself. The laughter seemed tinged with desperation. It was as though the boys were desperate to return to normal and yet, they couldn’t go back. As much as they might want to, as much as WE may want them to, they can never go backwards. They will never again be the fresh face peeking around the door. They have grown through the darkness they’ve experienced and battled and we must acknowledge that and watch as they go forwards.

And then we have The Monster at the End of This Book. Once again, an episode ripe with humor provides the necessary lightness after the angst of previous heart ache before we are plunged into the horror and heartache commonly referred to as the ending of the season. Once again, an episode that begins with gut busting laughter, only to twist in that familiar breath taking, heart rending Kripke fashion.

Who would have known a children’s book could provide the foundation for such an episode?

I wasn’t sure … there was something always niggling at the back of my mind from the first time I heard the title of this episode. I know that it’s been passed around – I’ve seen it from two different sources - so it’s not news, but it was a *facepalm* for me that I didn’t catch it right away. You see … I actually own this book. It’s part of the Golden Books Sesame Street Children’s series. I actually own seven of them. (Of the series, not this individual book.) Four of them, including this book, were originally my little brother’s when he was small. When my mother was getting rid of them in a garage sale, I laid claim, putting them away with many of my other books I saved from childhood. My girlies have adored them and The Monster at the End of This Book was a particular favorite of all three girlies. (If they tell you anything about funny voices … ignore them … it was only childish fantasies, I’m certain.) I read this book so many times that it took its place along side Dr. Seuss’ Green Eggs & Ham, Maurice Sendek’s Where the Wild Things Are and Disney’s The Lion King as things that I could quote verbatim without even really looking at them. By the time my Twinkles came to this book, I could actually dust, vacuum and read (recite) it at the same time while they sat side by side in my big chair and turned the pages for me.

For those who perhaps aren’t aware, this little book begins with Sesame Street’s self proclaimed loveable blue furry monster Grover reading the book's title to us from the corner of the title page … The Monster at the End of This Book. And he freaks out. Grover is scared of monsters. Grover does not recognize himself as a monster as it is defined by society. He’s not ugly or frightening. He’s not wicked or evil. He’s simply sweet, loveable, blue, furry Grover. He’s scared by the title … he is afraid of monsters and he particularly does not want to see the one at the end of the book. So, through the creative illustrations and dialogue, we make our way through the little story as Grover works very hard to keep us from getting to the end of the book. He tapes pages together … he staples the book shut … he blocks the pages with brick walls … and each time we turn a page of the book, thus “tearing through” one of his attempts to keep us from reaching the end, he cries out that we need to stop … begging and pleading that we can’t go forward … that there is a monster at the end of the book that’s going to get us. Now, in true Sesame Street tradition, the end of the book is all cuddles and warmth and happiness as Grover finds that the monster at the end of the book is actually himself … blue, furry, loveable Grover. He ends the story with words “and you were worried”. It’s a fun, silly little book.

Who knew as I read this little tale, acting the parts and making the voices for a couple of giggling big-eyed girlies and their sister, that years later it would lend its title to a Supernatural episode of such foreboding?

I loved this episode. I seriously, truly, sincerely LOVED this episode. It ranks up there in the top of my other 77 favorite episodes. *grins* I give thanks to Kripke and Company for the homage to the fans … it was spectacular and so fun. The small moments, the nuances … everything, particularly in those first 15 minutes were geared to make the fans laugh at themselves and it worked. I mean, come on … raise hands … how many of you saw the series of books in the publishing agent's bookshelf and wanted them for your fan selves???? We have the DVD’s but wouldn’t it be great to have The BOOKS????

Also, with this episode, Julie Siege has come “into her own” and moved right up there amongst the top of the Supernatural A-List of writers. For along with the laughter came the twist into terror. This time it was not the MOW terror of a wendigo or a zombie or a vampire shocking and scaring us. It was not a demon threatening The Boys (although there is one in the mix) but something even more heart pounding, bone chilling.

“She was telling the truth about one thing – she’s NOT going to survive the apocalypse. I’ll make sure of that.”

Remember when I’ve said in earlier blogs that the seasons of Supernatural remind me of a series of books? Given that The Kripke has said he has five seasons in him, it’s like a series of five books – each one telling a portion of the overall story, each episode a chapter in that season's particular book?

I don’t know if it was Jared’s particularly fine delivery, his total embodiment of Sam lending the weight to this statement or if it was simply the verbalization of the dread that has been culminating from the beginning of the season. But I am filled with a bone chilling fear that there is going to be a monster at the end of this particular season’s book and it’s not necessarily going to be Lucifer. I’m so desperately afraid that the monster at the end of this season’s book is going to be our own, sweet, loveable, puppy Sammy.

Suddenly, I don’t want to get to the end. I don’t mind this hiatus. I want to stop now. If we don’t go forward then we won’t find out. Because, this won’t be a sweet and cuddly Sesame Street ending. This is going to be a dark and twisted Kripke ending. It's going to hurt. Alot.

In my heart I feel this dread ... and I'm going to share it with you ... here ... now. It's not spoilers for I haven't read or listened to a thing about the season ending. It's pure speculation that my heart conceived at the end of The Monster at the End of This Book. I'm praying I'm wrong.

Speculation: The 66th and final seal that releases Lucifer is when Sam (hyped up on demon blood) kills Lilith.

The first seal is broken by Dean.

The final seal is broken by Sam.

"And the righteous man who begins it is the only one who can finish it."

Oh. Crap.

So, how to stop it from happening? Dean must stop Sam … how does he do that? By killing him? Question: Going back to IMTOD, exactly how much did BDW know and exactly what was he referring to in his whispered message to Dean? If he can’t SAVE him, he has to KILL him????

I really, really need to be wrong. Problem is ... this scares the crap out of me. Being wrong means Kripke is going to do something even worse simply because, while my mind is full of imagined fear … Kripke & his writers minds are full of gleeful twists and tortures. They are the wicked Alistairs of the television world, delighting in carving off pieces of our hearts and shredding the foundations of our souls.

That might have been a bit melodramatic … but you get my thought here, right? Right???

So, there you have it ... that is what occurred in my brain after watching The Monster at the End of This Book.

Now it's time to move onward ... cause whether I'm ready or not, the rollercoaster ride that began with Dean's return in Lazarus Rising ... no ... scratch that ... it began with The Pilot and just continues to accelerate ... has hit one of those giant loop-d-loops and we're gonna be losing our lunches on this one ... along with our hearts ... and our minds.

Good thing I've still got these defibrilators taped to my chest, a paper bag close at hand and 911 on speed dial. I just hope the lady doesn't laugh at me again.

A Birthday Wish from The Keeper

Wed, 22 Apr 2009 15:40:31 GMT

Did you think that I would forget?

Not hardly.

While I don't have a party game put together and there isn't a little virtual story written, I do have a heart full of joy ready to celebrate with a smile and a wish.

To Jeffrey Dean Morgan ... the talented man who has made dying an art and remaining in our hearts a gift.

I found that he was the main reason I really liked watching Grey's Anatomy and when his character died it broke my heart and left me with a show that no longer satisfied me..

He was the main reason I went to see Watchmen and while his character was truly a b*****d, through his talent and the flashbacks, we were able to see the bit of humanity that made us sad that he had been killed (even if it was the catalyst for all that followed).

He wasn't my main reason for watching that first episode of Supernatural, yet the character he created remains with the show even after his shocking death at the beginning of season two - not as a ghost but something more intrinsic to the overall story ... in the hearts and memories of the two sons who continue to fight as he trained them and to watch over each other as he taught them. (I won't get started on BDW at this time ... I figure everyone pretty much knows how the Keeper feels about her BDW and that is due to JDM's characterization of a man worn by grief and fear for the safety of his two boys and ... huh? Oh yeah, I wasn't going to do this here, was I? Ooops.)

There's been other roles ... other characters ... some have died and some have lived ... some I've cared for and some ... well ... umm ... Kabluey? ... seriously JDM? ... okay ... well, atleast it gave me a couple of really enjoyable screenshots to save so I'll stil count it a win. :-) However, behind each character created, there's the man with the soft rough voice, liquid eyes that spark and twinkle, and a grin that makes my heart stutter, not to mention a kind heart filled with an infectious laughter.

So, join me in raising a glass and sharing some virtual cake as we wish Happy Birthday! to Jeffrey Dean Morgan ...

May your special day be blessed with joy and your year be filled with health and happiness, not to mention success in your endeavors. We look forward to seeing more of you on the big screen as we privately pray that you will return the small screen as John Winchester just one more time.  :-)

It's Thursday, It Must Be Supernatural

Thu, 02 Apr 2009 17:29:55 GMT

*sigh*

I love Thursdays. I truly do. In some ways even more than Friday or Saturday.

It's crazy ... I know.

Yet, it's true.

The week can be exhausting ...

The days can be gray and gloomy ...

The girlies can have me running in 16 different directions (usually 4 at a time) ...

My computer may crash ...

My ceiling may leak ...

The moron I work with can turn me into a hateful hag ...

But I know when I wake up on Thursday morning, I simply have to make it through the day in order to get my prize ... an hour of angst and delight as I receive the gift of yet another chapter in this season's saga. (I won't spoil tonight's eppy for those who have not been inadvertantly spoiled as I have with a particularly delightful preview, I'll simply say for those that have seen it ... my pun was intended. *grins*)

Seriously, though, that hour (or rather that 42 minutes plus commercials) is something I truly count on. I look forward to it. I enjoy it. It brings me a happy, pure and simple.

It's like a Hawaiian Shaved Ice on a hot summer evening after doing laundry.

It's like a warm pot of tea on a frosty winter morning trying to wake up.

It's like the soft hug from a girlie after a very hard day.

It's like the quiet grasp of my hand from a nervous girl before she leaves her seat to give a speech or a performance,

It's like the bright smile of a small one who has crawled into my lap after successfully building and knocking down a block tower.

Moments in time that bring me joy ... that bring happiness ... I count on these points to keep the proverbial silver lining of my day glowing in the midst of the normal (and sometimes not so normal) chaos of my life. They give me balance.

In the case of Supernatural, it is a specific time period ... something scheduled.  For me, Supernatural like a scheduled rainbow. Bittersweet in that I know I'm going to have to accept the rain (the angst) that comes with it, but it's okay because I know that there will eventually come that one brief moment ... the rainbow ... that will make the rain and angst worth bearing.

Yes, I know ... I'm wearing my geeky sentimental hat this morning. What can I say? I woke up early and had a few moments.

So ... here I am on a Thursday ... the anticipation is building, giving birth to the butterflies of excitement blooming in the pit of my stomach.

Anticipation for tonight's ep is especially tingly from a couple of points ... 1)  this is the last one before a two week hiatus and 2) it's the last one before the "final four".  Those final four chapters of this season's journey that will have us gasping at a climax and ... knowing The Kripke and the fact that he has had plenty of time to plan, plot, and connive ... a season finale that will haunt us for the duration of the summer.

So, this morning I was dancing ... with delight ... and then ... I looked at my calendar.

*smacks forehead* I swear the public school system hates me personally for they always seem to schedule things on Thursday nights ... and I have a mental block to retain information when it affects my Thursday night plans. Thank goodness my girlies have learned (seriously, I'm not kidding) to 1) mark my calendars - both of them - in bold RED ink, knowing that it will catch my attention when I check my planned day and 2) give me a heads up verbally, not once, not twice but usually three or four times so that I cannot say they did not tell me about it. *sigh*

Tonight ... at 7pm central time - one hour before showtime  ... my twinkles are being inducted into the Junior National Honor Society. This is a wonderful honor and, of course, I will be there (scowling at the school officials - beaming at my girlies). I will be immensely proud and happy. Yet, I'm honest enough with myself to know the following will also occur - 1) both VCRs will be set for 10 minutes prior and 10 minutes post, in order not to miss a thing, 2) I will have already parked strategically for a quick release from the parking lot, and ... biggest blessing of all ... 3) my girls are understanding of my Thursday night need to "cut and run" the minute things are concluded - especially if it's concluded before 8pm and the possibility of my zooming home in my little red Baby in time to see the Black Beauty and her Boys without waiting is a possibility.    *grins*

So, here I am ... preparing for another Thursday night ... with slight scheduling modifications. Will tonight be simply a MOW or will it continue the mythic arc? Will it be the rest and laughter after the emotionally charged eppies of late or will there be those moments derived from quiet terror that will set us up for a tense two week wait before the Final Four? There's no way of knowing. Our writer tonight, Julie Siege, is relatively new to our show, however her other two eppys ... Criss Angel is a Douchebag and It's the Great Pumpkin, Sam Winchester ... were both well done and had a slight emotional twist at the end.

There's simply no way of knowing how tonight will end ... but one thing is certain ... tonight's episode will be a much anticipated new chapter that will leave me craving the next Thursday that will bring the next installment.

*claps gleefully*

It's Thursday, Therefore It Must Be Supernatural

Thu, 26 Mar 2009 17:59:06 GMT

It's Thursday and I am feeling the need to post something.

I want to post something even though ...

... I don't really have any words of wisdom to impart.

... I don't have another ramble ready.

... I don't have any quizzes or quotes.

I'm simply sitting here in my office, listening to one of my "Supernatural Mix" CD's as we continue our apartment inspections and I get up and down turning off and resetting alarms.

I was thinking about tonight ... and last week ... and enjoying that thrill that just seems to grow in my heart on Thursdays as the morning departs and the afternoon begins to edge towards the hour when the show will start.

No one here understands the small grin that creeps onto my face on Thursdays and stays there for most of the day (barring any unforseen stupid behavior from my Moron) in anticipation of enjoying another episode ... another hour (okay ... approx. 42 minutes after commercials are removed) with the Winchester boys as they continue their journey.

After last week's On the Head of a Pin, I must admit to being a bit worn out emotionally.  This journey has definitely taken some serious turns for both our boys. Angst and heartache can only go for so long before I'm simply a puddle on the floor.  After last week, I was certainly heading in the direction of that puddle.

You know ... at the end of Sex and Violence, my heartbroken response was ... "Crap ... you boys are so NOT okay!"

Then came Death Takes a Holiday, and my horrified response was ... "Crap! CrapCrapCrap!"

At the end of last week's On the Head of a Pin, I was my sniffling response was ... "H.O.L.Y. C.R.A.P.!!!!!!"

Even with the brief hiatus interrupting between S&V and DTaH, these three episodes packed so much information, so much emotion, so much heartache that I truly felt like breathing was going to become in issue as surely as it did for Dean when Alistair had him by the throat.

The boys have certainly had a rough time and, as fans following right along, so have we.

I'd like to think that this week's episode will be of lighter fare. One of those little breaks that we get occasionally. According to the glimpse (my only spoilage - please don't say anything if you know more) given in the preview last week, it certainly appears to be that way ... yet ... I happened to find out that tonight is written by my pal Sera Gamble, who is not exactly known for her "light and silly" fun episodes. While Sera can pack some "fun" lines or situations in her tales, knowing the boys the way she does ...

Faith ... "I'm not going to die in a hospital where the nurses aren't even hot."

Bloodlust ... "You hear a couple of severed heads and a pile of dead cows and you're Mister Sunshine."

Heart ... Sam & Madison ... Dean leaving ... fistpump ... you get the idea. *grins*

Houses of the Holy ... Magic Fingers ... 'nuf said.

Yet, Sera's episodes tend to not be about the funny ... they just have brief moments ... and so, I have to admit I've got those tummy wiggles of anxious anticipation.

And I didn't want to have them by myself. I wanted to share.

Wasn't that kind of me?

Perhaps I'm wrong ... perhaps since Ben penned such an incredibly dramatic filled episode last week, this week Sera will try her comedy wings.

I guess we shall see.

Meantime ... it's now less than eight hours and I'm into my afternoon. Alarms have stopped for the day and my Moron has a project that should keep him busy and out of my hair for most all of the afternoon.

To round out this posting that has no point ... figured I'd share a couple of my geekier moments. *facepalm*

1) On the way to work this morning, CCR's "Run through the Jungle" began playing. I answered my cellphone expecting my friend for whom I have the song set.  *sighs*  The song was on the radio.

2) I've been doing something this season that is absurd but gives me a silly happy.  I've been checking the episode times against the other seasons. We won't go into my little book of mathematics. It's embarrassing enough that I've felt the need to know this information. I've tracked each season ... episodes one through 16 ... and these are my results:

--- So far, with 16 episodes, Season One still had the most time, followed by Season Four, then Season Two, and finally Season Three. (Of course, Season Three will now be permanently in last place as it only has the 16 episodes to compare.)

Actual tallys?
Season One --- 11 hours, 21 minutes, and 19 seconds
Season Four --- 11 hours, 14 minutes, and 20 seconds
Season Two --- 11 hours, 5 minutes, and 13 seconds
Season Three --- 10 hours, 49 minutes, and 12 seconds

Yeah ... I know ... I need a life. *sigh* Just please don't anyone mention this to my girlies. The twinks wil NEVER let me live it down! *grins*

Happy Thursday, ya'll!!!

Enjoy the show ... cause happy or sad it's still the best to be had.

*I have sooooo got to get off this computer now*

On the Head of a Pin - The Winchester Men

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 17:07:10 GMT

Thursday night was a bit different for me last week. Actually the whole of last week was a bit different, but I won’t go into the chaos that was my life except to say … “it’s over … it’s done with … past is past and I’m ready to move on” … and so I am. Doing something I’ve been wanting to do for a long time … chat about a recent episode with those who are my obsessive Supernatural friends, or those who aren’t but are still reading this. :-)

I’ve been revisiting the past a lot lately. Before my computer issues began, I had planned to begin posting some of my visits to previous episodes. (Yes Whims … I caught your thought on “a book”. No, I’m not going to write a book but I WILL post what I’ve done when we have a chance to breathe and are not caught up in the midst of new turmoil.) I had wanted to get caught up, or at least close to caught up before these newest episodes … before I started writing about these newest episodes. So much for my “best laid plans”.

Then came Thursday and between the chaos of ridding my computer of a trojan worm and the chaos of my thoughts that were tumbling around in my brain before I could catch my breath and quell the emotion that threatened to overwhelm my heart after On the Head of a Pin aired, I knew I couldn’t wait any longer … there was so much to say. It was as though the tapestry that I’d been writing about for so long had taken on a new life of its own. I’m ready to write once again about the show which has proven once again that it is not afraid to damage my heart and shown me once again – to quote my dear friend Mary from her blog on Season Two’s Heart – while I think I know what’s going on, I know nothing at all.

Did you know I used to paint ceramics and cross-stitch? I loved them both for they were a creative outlet … something I could do with my hands, keeping me busy even while I was being a couch potato and my mind was engaged with my television. Unfortunately, along came the not-so-fun diagnosis of carpel tunnel and my doctor not just suggesting but authoritatively “telling” me I needed to give up those fine repetitive motion activities.

There’s a reason I bring this up now, so before collectively rolling eyes and scrolling backwards/forwards to make certain you didn’t miss something, please bear with me.

I loved the painting in particular. I loved choosing my pieces, searching for those that had depth and seemed to have a life of their own, even when they were in white of fresh bisque, or better yet, still in the greenware stage, waiting to be cleaned and detailed before being placed in the heated inferno which would bake their molded shape, sealing it in that position forever. An example … *mumblemumble* years ago, I made a large (18 inches in diameter) ceramic Christmas wreath. It was an intricate working of evergreen boughs, pine cones, holly leaves with ripe berries, a large golden bow and an antique Father Christmas’s face and hat. It was going to be a challenge, one that I anticipated. I had a “tech sheet” giving me the suggested techniques to use, the shades of paints, the mixing of textures, the using of antiquing oils and glistening gold metallics and glitter. I began painting it with excitement … applying each layer painstakingly one by one … base primer followed by color coating followed by shadowing and texture layered with antiquing then wiped clean – leaving just enough to give depth and perspective but requiring more layers before the final clear coating to seal everything and keep it intact. It was (and still is) a treasure that took many days … hours to complete and one that I look forward to unwrapping from its cushion of tissue and bubble wrap each year to hang over my counter where I can enjoy it.

However, my wreath almost never made it to completion. I’ll be honest (and you can verify this as fact with my mother who had the daunting task of talking me down from the proverbial ledge) I almost dashed it against the stones of the fireplace I was so frustrated with it. I had worked so hard on it and the wreath was about two-thirds complete and I hated it. It was so ugly!! I couldn’t wrap my mind around the fact that something I had pictured as going to be so beautiful was in actuality nothing more than a chaos of colors, so horrid and ugly, something that brought no happiness or sense of beauty. I’m really not kidding. It was hideous. All I could think was that I had done something … that I had missed a stage, overlooked a step, gone in a wrong direction. Afterall … I had the tech sheet … I had the knowledge of my craft and my tools … I even had a picture of how the final product should look.

I thought I knew everything about what I was doing and how it would look, but I didn’t know anything at all.

All I could see was the chaos of color. After so much time I couldn’t recall the excitement and anticipation of the challenge as I began. I was worn out with continually working, shoulders hunched as I bent over the piece, fingers cramped and wrist/elbow aching, eyes dry and tired. I couldn’t remember the beginning and I couldn’t see the ending. All I could fathom was the chaos.

I simply couldn’t take it any longer.

There have been moments during each season with Supernatural where I simply felt I couldn’t take any more. Each year The Kripke and his band of merry tortur… er … um … writers … take me to a point where I begin to think to myself, “That’s it. No more. I can’t take it any further.” I tell myself that I’m not watching anymore. Nope. I won’t. I can’t. It hurts too much. The chaos is too overwhelming.

There are points each year where a brother’s spirit is overwhelmed, a brother’s heart is hurting, a brother’s soul is battered, a brother’s hope is beginning to shatter and I simply can’t take it any longer. Because my spirit, my heart, my soul, my hope is besieged right along with theirs.

Rationally, I know that I am lying to myself.

Realistically, I know that I will be right there the next week … huddled on my couch or snuggled in my comfy chair … watching with bated breath as the threads of the Winchester journey continue to be woven.

On the Head of a Pin is just such an episode … was just such a moment. Such a dramatic, pivotal episode containing so many inescapable heart-wrenching moments, it became almost overwhelming.

As the episode ended and chaos swirled in my mind and my heart, I kept coming back to one question … “What happens when a righteous man is broken?”

“And it is written that the first seal shall be broken when a righteous man sheds blood in hell. As he breaks, so shall it break.”

Dean Winchester … a righteous man? We certainly know that he is not a saint. Angelic and blameless are not words that would be chosen to depict him. Yet, he is a dutiful son … a devoted brother ... a faithful friend … a worthy man who followed his father in their family business … saving people, hunting things … not out of a sense of revenge, like his father, but with his own justifiable principles or morality to guide him. Dean truly believed in what they did.

“I figure our family's so screwed to hell; maybe we can help some others. Makes things a little more bearable. I'll tell you what else helps. Killing as many sons of bitches as I possibly can.”

We think of him as a hero, a distinguished warrior of strength and courage.

He thinks of himself as just a regular guy who doesn’t even like to be singled out at birthday parties.

As the episode ends, I watched that final scene between Dean and Castiel and here is what I saw:

Looking at Dean’s face, lying pale, bloodied and bruised, half in the shadows and half in the pale, cold light of the hospital, I found myself reminded of that pivotal moment in Wendigo … Sam despairing and Dean, his face, so full of conviction in doing right by Haley and her brothers, half in the shadows and half in the warm glow of the firelight.

As I listened to Dean’s voice … broken, rough and weary … his despair and self loathing so evident, I found myself reminded of his speech to Sam in Wendigo with a voice filled with strength and confidence in the knowledge that their job, their family business, was a worthy cause.

Watching the lone tear slip from an eye dulled and haunted, filled with grief, I found myself reminded of those same eyes full of life as they faced his brother that moment in Wendigo, snapping with an excitement in the thrill of the hunt and sure in their purpose.

Yes … the ending moment with Dean was seared into my heart and brain and yet … this isn’t simply Dean’s story. As I watched those singular moments, those threads of grief and despair, haunting and filled with self-loathing, I began to see the journey in my minds eye. These threads of story being woven that are continuing ever forward, set in motion from the first minute of the first episode. The death of Mary, beloved wife and mother, began a story of three Winchester men … John, Dean and Sam.

What happens when a righteous man is broken?

My answer to that question is another … really … two questions …

WHICH righteous man?

Sam? John? Dean?

How do we define broken?

By seduction? By grief? By despair?

Let’s start with Sam Winchester, shall we?

Even though Sam’s time in On the Head of a Pin was seemingly short, in many ways his scenes broke my heart just as much, if not more than Dean’s despair. As much as I wish he could stay that sweet, and seemingly innocent, college boy who popped his head around the door with a quick grin in the pilot, I know that isn’t possible. For a television program set amidst The Kripke’s mythological world of urban legends and the supernatural, it has created one of the more realistic family dramas I’ve had the opportunity to view. The relationships of brother & brother, brother and father, brother and any other character are not simply one or even two dimensional. These characters have been given depth and life and therefore, they must also grow and change and develop just as people do in real life. Sam is no longer the innocent … however he is a righteous man in my mind, no matter the path that he seems to be treading.

A righteous man that is being broken.

When I think of Sam being a righteous man the first thing that actually pops in my mind is of his prissy face … that tightening of lips and rolling of eyes as he blah blahblah blahblahblah blah. *grins* However, that’s not fair. That’s his self-righteous face and let’s face it … both Winchester boys have one of those, Sam’s is just funnier to me.

No, Sam, like Dean, is not angelic or saintly. He wasn’t even a truly dutiful son … always questioning, arguing, pushing for something more … searching for that normalcy that he craved … he learned the maneuvers, the techniques, the art of defense from his drill sergeant father … he learned to bow-hunt, but he pushed until he also got to play soccer. Still questing for his own place, his own way in the world, everything changed for Sam when a teacher took a moment to ask the question, “Do you want to go into the family business?” and he honestly replied, “More than anything no.”

“There may be three or four big choices that shape someone’s whole life … and you need to be the one that makes them … not anyone else. You seem like a great kid, Sam. Just live the life you want to live.”

Yet Sam had integrity. He was, in a lot of ways, the moral compass of the Winchester brothers… “Dude, you are NOT going to poke her with a stick!” … “We could get day jobs once in awhile.” He was fair, trustworthy and seemingly incorruptible.

Then along came a demon.

No. Not Ruby. I’ll get to her in a minute.

Before Ruby, there was YED … and Sam’s innocence was found to actually have been tampered with at the young age of 6 months when the evil was dripped for the first time into his small mouth, giving him a taste of what was to come.

From In the Beginning –

YED: “Demon blood is better than Ovaltine, vitamins, and minerals. It makes you big and strong.”
Dean: “For what? So they can lead your discount demon army? Is that your big plan?”
YED: “Please. My end game’s a hell of a lot bigger than that, kid.”

Was it just me or did things get a whole lot scarier when that announcement was made ... especially in the light of what we know now?

The YED took Sam and the other “children” out to the deserted town of Cold Oak and pit them against each other in an attempt to have them tap into the power bestowed on them with that bit of blood, to have them best each other until only one remained on top, motivated by their will to survive and take down the competition. One that the YED could then manipulate into doing what he wanted.

Problem was … Sam Winchester wasn’t just any kid. He’d grown up refusing the world of evil and supernatural and he wasn’t going to give in now … not even to save himself. Self preservation has never been high on the list of Winchester motivation.

Nope. The YED didn’t provide the right motivation.

But Ruby did.

“I could help you save your brother.”

Ruby, Ruby, Ruby. Where do I start? Okay. First of all, I’m going with character, not actress. Not EVEN gonna start that little debate going here. Okie doke? Like her, don’t like her, doesn’t matter, because the character itself is where the true plan lies.

From No Rest for the Wicked -

Ruby: “Ummmmm … Demon. Manipulative's kinda in the job description. Fact is, that you would have never considered it. Not until you were …”
Sam: “Desperate enough?”

Teasing and tantalizing him … never actually lying to him (“I can help YOU save your brother.”) but not telling the complete truth either, Ruby led Sam through Season Three. Scared of losing his brother, unable to locate any way possible to save him, in those final hours, Sam started to become desperate enough to consider her help … her demonic help. Dean was his weak link, just as he was Dean’s and they both were their father’s. As Dean said, “Sammy, all I’m saying is that you’re my weak spot. ----- You are. And I’m yours.” Dean knew it and so did the demons … so did Ruby … so did Lilith. Sam was just a bit slower in picking up the clue, plus … he didn’t want to … he didn’t care. All of a sudden he was faced with the giant black hole of life without his brother. He’d done it before thanks to the Trickster in Mystery Spot and he couldn’t face it again. He was willing to do anything.

But time was out.

And Dean was gone. This time not by a trickster’s slight of hand, but the very real hell hounds … “demonic pit bulls”.

Sam was alone … driven by grief for the loss of his brother, but also the crushing weight of guilt in that he hadn’t been able to save him and now Dean’s soul was in hell – a trade for bringing Sam back to life. Plus, don’t you think Sam was filled with the overwhelming regret that he didn’t give in and try Ruby’s solution? Only his brother’s words stayed him from the attempt … he held out … even after Ruby’s return … attempting to save Dean by any means possible. Fueled by Ruby’s words, Sam’s desire of revenge on Lilith finally overtook his sense of integrity and the incorruptible man began treading the slippery slope. We didn’t know how he was gaining the power to dispel the demons with his mind, we just knew that Ruby was involved.

On the Head of the Pin gave us that information. I can’t believe it but I gotta say … I really rather they’d have had sex. However, that said … it was like one more piece of the puzzle … the un-noticed thread from that part of the tapestry suddenly brought to light. Twenty-five years ago, demon blood started all this … makes sense that demon blood continues it, strengthens it, making it more powerful as it consumes Sam, corrupting him. When she pulled the knife, my heart clenched … my mind screamed … I found myself wishing that she would just stab him, anything but what actually transpired. Because as repulsed as I was at Sam’s drinking of Ruby’s demonic blood … it was the celebratory look on her face as he drank … as she PETTED HIS HEAD! as he drank and whispered “It’s okay, Sam” that had me screeching in fear for the youngest Winchester. Seduction is a subtle art form and Ruby’s technique has been flawless. I don’t care that she “saved” him, that she has “helped” them … she’s a demon and I don’t trust her. I don’t care that she allowed herself to be the bait to bring Alistair, allowed herself to be tortured to accomplish what they needed in Heaven and Hell … she’s a demon and I don’t trust her.

Two words … Demons lie.

And sometimes … as Dean told Jo in BUABS, they tell the truth … “especially if they know it will mess with your head.”

I hope I’m wrong … I wish I was wrong … I WANT to be wrong … but Ruby … *shakes head*

Since the first time we met her in The Magnificent Seven, Ruby has been following her own agenda and you can just bet that “helping Sam” gain this power in slaying demons, is not HER end game. Of this, I am certain. How she fits with Azazel, I don’t know, but I’m not ruling out any possibilities at this point.

Besides! Did you catch it? She called him Sammy! Sammy!!!!! No one calls Sam “Sammy” but Dean. That’s the rule. Period. She’s crossed the line.

Seriously though, Sam … well, Sam is blinded by his need to protect Dean who he perceives to have been changed, weakened by his time in hell. Once again … Winchesters are each other’s greatest weakness.

It seemed a filler shot … but it wasn’t to me. Sam driving through the night to reach the place the angels had taken Dean … filled with purpose, his blood soaring with demonic power and his mind set on saving his brother. There was a strength and maturity there that the young Sam from the pilot could not have pulled off … but at what cost to his own soul? I seriously watched that one scene … that one moment several times … just watching his eyes. The quick *blink & miss* slide of his iris from Sammy pretty to demonic black, chilled my soul. The only saving grace was my further watching made certain that Sam’s eyes did not go fully black. Yet.

Sam’s arrival at the warehouse was in some ways predictable, as was his killing of Alistair, but it wasn’t. This was not the cavalry riding in to save the day. It was dark and it was scary and just because the end result was the information needed and the death of Alistair does not mean that Sam walked away any less scathed than Dean. No headache, no bleeding nose … he’s adapting … his body is not recoiling at the onslaught of demon power surging through it.

I know how easy it is to justify it … he’s a good man, he can control it … he was saving his brother … he was getting the information that the angels needed, setting the ball in motion to the further revelation that Uriel was working against the angel team, not for them, and he killed one of hell’s master torturer’s. Point for the team. Yay.

No.

Not yay.

Because at what cost to his soul did he score this point?

** Side note … it would not have been good, and it certainly wouldn’t have followed the storyline, but I REALLY would have liked to have seen Sam face off against Uriel at that moment, after killing Alistair. There would have been something so satisfying in possibility of seeing actual fear in Uriel’s eyes.

Oh! and pause for a moment here for me, please, … I need to say this and I’m not sure where else to tuck it … remember back in Season Two when we were all going nuts over all the people the boys were dodging … demons viruses, Gordon, the feds, not to mention other hunters after Meggy interfered? Okay … correct me if I’m wrong … but seems to me the list of factions making the boys life crazy, intentional or unintentional has grown a bit:

Faction #1 – Lilith … working to free Lucifer by breaking seals and bring about the apocalypse
Faction #2 – Angels … Castiel & his garrison working to keep seals from being broken and freeing Lucifer
Faction #3 – Other Angels … Uriel … Okay, yes, dead NOW but what about those he’s subverted, working to allow Lucifer to be freed?
Faction #4 – Ruby … working on her own scary agenda
Faction #5 – Anna … also working on her own agenda
Faction #6 – Is it just me, or does anyone still wonder where Meggy is out there????

Yikes.

Okay … back to business … Sam Winchester … righteous man … devout brother ... broken in ways yet to be seen as he succumbs to the lure of the demon blood in his quest to kill Lilith.

The moment in the hospital room by Dean’s side brought back so many thoughts of IMTOD. Mostly of that togetherness that I so needed to see … “you've got to hold on. You can't go, man, not now. We were just starting to be brothers again” … of Sam’s frantic search to try and help his brother. There was no frantic search this time. Just a quiet watchfulness … an air of protection blanketing his unconscious sibling as he waited until Castiel appeared in the doorway. Then, jaw tightening, eyes hardening, there was no stumbling request, no awestruck humbleness in the face of an angel … it was simply a quiet, yet fierce command … “Miracle … NOW!”

Not to mention a righteous brother’s indignation:

“This whole thing was pointless … you understand that? The demons aren’t doing the hits. Something else is killing your soldiers.”

Direct and to the point, Sam didn’t care about offending anyone. His only concern was how everything that Uriel and Castiel demanded of Dean affected his brother’s well-being. Sam couldn’t save his brother last year from being sent to hell, but now that Dean’s back and obviously tormented, Sam’s fear and worry for his brother are going to have him falling further into Ruby’s demonic plan. It worries me how Sam will respond when he finds out … will he be able to gain strength to fight back or will it break him?

Another part of the tapestry that received fresh layers woven was that of John Winchester … marine, husband, father, hunter … he died when he sold his soul to the Yellow Eyed Demon to save Dean, and ultimately Sam.

Was John a righteous man? We know he was already broken in a lot of ways by his grief for his Mary. We know that he had regrets that he hadn’t been able to be a better father to his sons, instead becoming a drill sergeant and ultimately pushing one son away. We know that his expectations were high, particularly with his eldest and including Dean’s watching out for Sammy. We know that he was driven by revenge to the exclusion of home, family, and even friends. He seemed to have had a falling out with most everyone.

And yet …

There’s that moment … in Shadow … when he turns from the window and Dean recognizes his father and simply walks into his arms – safe in the knowledge that he was loved and for those moments, well, he was protected as well.

There was that moment … in Dead Man’s Blood … when he and Sam are alone in the cabin waiting for Dean and there is a sharing, a bonding, a revelation of how they were actually more alike that either thought.

Have I mentioned recently how much I love this show??? I mean, seriously. Physically present in only twelve episodes out of seventy-six (one of those only vocally) and yet my beloved BDW is still a major factor in the weaving of the journey!

So, which was more shocking? The fact that John was tortured by Alistair during his ten months in hell or Alistair’s proclamation …

“You know, it was supposed to be your father. He was supposed to bring it on. But in the end, it was you.”

What the … ????

John?

John Winchester?

This is just another one of those demon lies … right??

Big Daddy John Winchester was supposed to bring on the apocalypse … the freeing of Lucifer? Seriously? Since John was in hell and being tortured long before Lilith took on her bid for power, would anyone like to revisit a couple of the moments in the boiler room in IMTOD?

YED: “You know the truth, right? About Sammy? And the other children?”
John: “Yeah, I’ve known for awhile.”

John: “Do we have a deal?”
YED: “No, John. Not. Yet. You still need to sweeten the pot.”
John: “With what?”
YED: “There’s something else I want, as much as that gun. Maybe more.”

Now, I could be wrong … I’ve been that way before … but that sure sounds to me as though YED was looking for John to be the righteous man to spill blood in hell, breaking the seal and beginning the quest to free Lucifer. We don’t know what Azazel’s end game was, yet we know for a fact that he’d been setting pieces into play before he met Mary as a young girl and long after Sam was born. It is possible that he believed the time to be right … the players for him were in one position … The Colt had been located … it could be that John’s bargain was a matter of opportunity not to be passed.

Plus … now we could even question how much “truth” did John know about Sam and the other children? Did he know about the demon blood? Did he know about Azazel’s desire for a leader … a second in command? Or did he know of the YED’s further plans … the part that we have yet to truly be privy?

Deal done, John went to hell and … according to Alistair … John didn’t break. According to Alistair, no matter how he tortured John, he resisted the deal to “get off the rack” and therefore, the seal remained unbroken and consequently, John Winchester escaped from hell when the Devil’s Gate was opened.

We all know what happened next … the YED was killed by Dean, with some help from his father … and the tyrant’s plan fell apart.

Here’s my question … was Alistair telling the truth or lying?

We honestly don’t know. As much as I love my BDW … as much as I believe him to be a hero – flawed in many ways, but still a hero – I don’t really believe that he held out against one hundred years of torture. Although, he had been torturing himself for the previous 23 years due to Mary’s death, I just don’t see him as the righteous man to break the seal. Again, I could be wrong. I’ve been that way before.

Either way though, Alistair knew the torment those words would bring to Dean. Whether John resisted or not … Alistair’s words would strike Dean to his marrow … because in his eyes ... in his heart, his father was a hero.

As Dean said … “He’s like a blackbelt in torture.” Alistair would know how to easily torture someone, not just physically but psychologically. Having been the one to slice and carve on Dean for 30 years, he knew his subject inside and out. He knew each button to push to cause even more exquisite pain. He knew the damage it did to Dean’s soul when he finally gave in and “climbed off the rack”. He could easily read the despairing guilt those 10 years caused his “student”.

Nothing could have struck the final blow to break Dean’s spirit than hearing how he didn’t measure up to the man he’d spent his life following … admiring … emulating … loving.

Well … almost nothing.

While Alistair’s taunt using his father cut Dean to his marrow, it was the pronouncement that it was Dean’s own act of giving in to his tormentor was the one that opened the first seal … the one that Lilith had desired – setting her plan in motion – that sliced him open completely and laid him bare.

Looking back, a few things now make a lot of sense …

Bedtime Stories –

Crossroad Demon: “I got a boss like everyone else. He holds the contract, not me. He wants Dean’s soul bad. And believe me, he’s not going to let it go.”

(Yes, yes, I know, it wasn’t a “he” but a “she” – typo in the script, storyline, or delivery – doesn’t matter – the gist is the same.)

No Rest for the Wicked –

Sam: “So, you have me. Let my brother go.”
Lilith: “Silly goose. You wanna bargain, you have to have something that I want.”

She already had exactly what she wanted … it was just a matter of time.

I Know What You Did Last Summer –

Sam: “I don’t want 10 years. I don’t want 1 year. I don’t want candy! I want to trade places with Dean.”
CRD: “No.”
Sam: “Just take me. It’s a fair trade.”
CRD: “No.”
Sam: “Why not? Lilith wants me dead. Just let Dean go and she can have me.”
CRD: “Don’t you understand, Sam? It’s not about YOUR soul. Dean’s in hell … right where we want him. We’ve got everything exactly the way we want it.”

Isn’t it amazing how seemingly small moments end up foretelling?

It makes me go back to the beginning … back to when we first beginning to get a clearer picture of the tapestry The Kripke and his crew were weaving for us, never dreaming it would bring us to this point of heartache and chaos.

Remember Faith?

Roy LeGrange: “Well, like I said before, the Lord guides me. I looked into your heart and you just stood out from all the rest.”
Dean: “What did you see in my heart?”
Roy LeGrange: “A young man with an important purpose. A job to do. And it isn’t finished.”

I wish that Roy would make a bedside visit. Somehow I think Dean might actually listen a bit closer to Roy than he will listen to the angel that had him go through that door.

I find myself wondering … how much memory did Dean take with him to hell? We know he called out for Sam to save him (Yeah, cause THAT scene’s moment is forever seared into my heart.) … but what else did he take with him? Did he continue to turn Ruby’s words over in his head as Alistair wielded his tools of torture …

“the same thing will happen to you. It might take centuries, but sooner or later hell will burn away your humanity. Every hell bound soul, every one turns into something else. Turns you into us, so yeah, yeah you can count on it.”

… or did he recall his own nightmare demon’s words …

“You can’t escape me, Dean. You’re gonna die. And this? This is what you’re gonna become.”

Dean’s own sense of self-worth has ever been his own personal hell. Alistair would have recognized that and capitalized upon it. He used it to break Dean in hundreds of ways until we come to the end of this episode and he is lying in a hospital bed once again … broken … a righteous man who has hit rock bottom.

“I guess I’m not the man either of our dads wanted me to be.”

Now it’s time to pick up the pieces and move forward, putting the past behind.

“It’s not … blame that falls on you Dean. It’s fate. And the righteous man who begins it, is the only one who can finish it.”

Here’s the thing … remember my Christmas wreath? It was so ugly in all it’s chaos, even with all the painstaking detail I’d already completed, I was ready to throw it all away. I couldn’t wrap my mind around the fact that something good was still to come … that I could finish it and have it be something beautiful to cherish. I needed my mom to bring me around, believe in me, have faith in me. I finished it to prove it to her … to myself that I could do it.

Dean is weighed down by the chaos that has become his life … the ugliness has overtaken him and he can’t see past it. He can’t believe in himself because all he sees is the destruction he feels he is responsible for creating … blaming himself for the lives lost. He can’t wrap his mind around the fact that he will be able to not only be strong enough to end Lucifer’s rising, to end the apocalypse.

What happens when a righteous man is broken?

In Dean’s case, needs someone to bring him around, to be strong enough for him as he gets back on his feet. He needs something/someone to truly care about. He needs Sam.

We’ve always … ALWAYS … said that the Winchester brothers are better together than they ever could be apart. Bad things happen when the brother’s split up. (I direct your attention to Scarecrow … to Hunted … to Time is on My Side … and then I rest my case.)

“We’re stronger as a family, Dad. We just are. You know it.”

Bad things have been happening this season as the brothers have seemed to be pulling away from each other. It culminated in the hurtful words at the end of Sex and Violence. Watching Sam in such a protective mode with his brother in the hospital gave me hope. These two draw strength from each other, but they need to also be open and honest with each other. While Dean might share his experiences with Sam, it is critical at this point that Sam share with Dean what is going on with him. Protecting Sam is as much a part of Dean as breathing. He’s done it for so long that it is second nature. He simply needs the incentive to do it again … because … yes, Sam has grown and become independent – he had to in order to survive without Dean – however, he still needs his brother.

Sam: “Well, come on, dude, you're a hunter. I mean, it's what you were meant to do.”
Dean: “Oh, I wasn't meant to do anything, I don't believe in that destiny crap.”
Sam: “You mean you don't believe in my destiny.”
Dean: “Yeah … whatever.”

I still think that “saving Sam” is a part of the overall theme of the tapestry being woven. Dean just needs to realize he may be down, but he’s not out.

Remember at the end of Family Remains … the boys are ready to leave and Dean looks at Susan and asks “You okay?”?? Remember her reply?

“No. We’re the opposite of okay. But we’re together.”

Family … amidst all the chaos that swirls around them … if the Winchesters hold to family, they will come out on the other side of the chaos.

***********************************

Okay folks, those are my initial thoughts on this eppy. Before you get all picky with me … yes, I know that I left out a hefty chunk and I didn’t have any words about the angels … Castiel in particular … you lusting inmates, you. :-) There’s a reason for that.

Simply put … LJ doesn’t support the lengthy rambles the way TVG did. I’m not sure about how lengthy I can get on BFZ, but I knew that if I wrote completely … including Castiel, Anna, and Uriel’s epic portion of this episode, it would be too much for a single LiveJournal entry and I would, once again, be forced to split it up. I didn’t want to do that – on their terms. I chose to split it my way … on my terms … by writing about what was closest to my heart – The Winchester Men – and then, time allowing, writing a second piece about the Angelic Manuevers & Demon Taunts as they danced on the head of a pin amidst the chaos. *grins*

This episode was simply too full of too much goodness and I continue to watch it and be amazed at all that is in it, even as I am overwhelmed by it. Each character was masterfully played by their respective actor. Kudos go all around. The girlies and I have decided that Alistair is top of the all time evil characters, Christopher Heyerdahl simply exuded nastiness. I’m not going to start with Robert, Misha, and Julie’s angelic portrayals … saving that for my part 2 … except to say they brought they were exceptional and, while the angels seemed to have taken time away from The Boys – much to the consternation of some fans, I’m sure – I appreciated it for the completion it gave to not only this individual chapter of this season’s novel, but also for it’s turning and propelling of the story forward.

As for Jensen and Jared … *sigh* … once again these two slip easily into the skin of their counterparts and bring to life such clarity and emotion. The dialogue is natural, but just as meaningful are those moments of silence. These two deserve much more than kudos from me, but that’s all I have to offer.

Oh … and Ben Edlund? I’m adding you to my list. You’ve given me much over the last couple years, but you’ve never carved out my heart as you did with On the Head of a Pin.

I’m now at my word/page limit, so that’s it for me for now. Thanks for stopping by. *waves*
.

An Apology & A Random Debt Paid

Thu, 12 Mar 2009 16:06:48 GMT

Above the cut:

Ahem. *clears throat* It seems as though I owe LJ an apology.

*takes back kick*

It seems it is not their fault that I am not able to post. It's also not the fault of my Word 2007. Evidently, when my computer caught an infection a couple weeks ago, it caused a bit of an unseen problem before it was caught and quarantined and erradicated. Evidently this infection affected an .exe program that plays a large role in how stuff transfers on my computer. My brother can give you a long technical explanation but it's Greek to me. All I understand is that for right now ... files on my computer do not copy easily (yeah! like trying to get a puppy to wear clown shoes) over to the internet. Right now I can't even upload stuff to my photobucket, let alone to LJ or BFZ or anywhere else. And don't get me started on how it has affected the application on Facebook (no it's not a part of that virus Gaby warned us of - thank goodness!) that has my Twinkles in an uproar. Oy!

My brother is working on the problem and feels confident that he can help me fix it without having to pay out my roadtrip savings for a house call or being disconnected from my intravenous internet addiction by taking the computer into the geek squad for repairs. However, since he's in Austin working evenings and I'm in Broken Arrow working days ... it's a bit tricky.

So ... I'm trying to figure out how I can do this ... but in the meantime, anything I post has to be typed out completely - no copy/paste ... and ... well ... perhaps these rambles aren't as long as some that I've posted, but they are aren't short little essays either.

*sigh*

So, please bear with me ... and ... in the meantime ... I have a debt to pay our dear Professor.

I'm going to tuck it under the cut.

Random Debt Paid

Random Association Meme – Ask me to associate you with five things. When I do this, post this meme and an explanation of your interest in those five things in your journal.

This is for Mary, my friend, The Professor. :-) ( and anyone else who happens to wander by)

Some times I get caught up in the moment. One of those moments occurred a couple of weeks ago when my dear friend The Professor played with Rap in the Meme-Room. It seemed such fun that I decided I wanted to play also.

My apologies Professor, I was afraid life would run away with my time … and it did. However, here I am to attempt to fulfill my meme debt. I must admit, it was kinda fun.

Bardicvoice (aka. The Professor, aka. Mary, aka. My friend) associated me with the following things:

1) John Winchester

2) Tea

3) Supernatural Sanitarium

4) Oooooooak-lahoma! (Where the wind comes sweeping down the plains! Where the wavin’ wheat can sure smell sweet when the wind comes right behind the rains!)

5) Rambles

Here are my responses:

1) John Winchester … Now, to be fair, I truly adore all three Winchester men and the men who portray them. I love watching them … I love writing about them … I love discussing them. However, what can I say? The Keeper simply adores her Big Daddy Winchester. From the very first moment I saw the Winchester Patriarch … leaning against the door jam of Baby Sammy’s room, arms crossed … from the first moment I heard him … “Hey Dean” … there was something about this man that caught my attention. It’s not just the way his eyes crinkle when he smiles, the way his dimples deepen within his whiskers, or his husky gravel coated voice that capture my attention. It’s not just the fact that I have come to appreciate the actor who portrays him.

My fascination is with the character of John Winchester himself. This is a man who loved a woman so deeply, so completely that his grief over losing her was as fresh 22 years later as it was the day she died. This is a man who gave everything, sacrificed everything – including his relationship with them – to keep his sons safe in a world where scary things really do live under the bed. This is a man who was so tragically flawed, so human, that he could not only anger me, but also break my heart in the space of just moments. This is a man who loved his sons so completely that he would, and did, give his life – sacrifice his soul – in an attempt to save them.

I love the fact that Supernatural, as of this writing, has now had 74 episodes and, although he appeared physically in only 12 episodes (one of which was voice only), it is incredibly rare that an episode passes that does not in some manner remind us of John Winchester ... the father, the hunter, the husband, the man.

I could go on … I could create a whole new ramble exclusively for the senior Winchester man, but that’s not the purpose of this meme. So I’d best move on.

2) Tea … I do enjoy a nice pot of tea. It’s not just something I say, it’s something I do. I used to drink coffee on occasion but it never soothed me. In fact, it generally wired me up to the point I was frazzled and hyper. After a particularly embarrassing coffee fueled occurrence that has been documented elsewhere, I removed myself from the world of the coffee bean and fell back to the world of tea. Growing up in the south, ice tea was a daily staple and hot tea was reserved for when the tummy wasn’t feeling so great or we were out of hot chocolate and needed something warm to drink. When I decided to give up the coffee and start my mornings with a cup of tea, I discovered an incredible world of blends and flavors. A wonderful new friend at the time (take a bow Whims!) introduced me to the world of Adagio tea. From there I wandered … roaming through various tea websites, combing the local stores & restaurants for intriguing blends. Then came a prezzie from another friend that included a little tin filled with 6 tea bags of heaven … Blackberry Sage. I know … the name sounds less than appealing but trust me … this blend is wonderful. I had to have more. So I found the website of Republic of Tea … a site that now loves to see me coming as I peruse their blends of black tea, white tea, decaf or regular, herbal reds or super fruity.

Each morning I enjoy a mug of tea as I wake up to face the day. I have three mugs that I rotate … of course a special Supernatural one for Thursdays … that I use throughout the week. At work I have a sturdy stoneware mug that I use to brew that morning breaktime, that after lunch top-off, or that afternoon pick me up. Then in the evening there’s my soothing cuppa before bed.

We won’t get me started on the weekends when I have more leisure I am able to brew a little pot. It sits upon my desk as I read my email or write … such as right now. Tea ... hot or cold ... it's my preference. (Mary … I look forward to that day when we can share a pot of tea and our Supernatural thoughts.)

3) Supernatural Sanitarium … Oh dear … where to start and what to say? I remember well when it happened … when the proverbial imaginary doors first opened. We were faced with a hiatus during the winter of the second season and I made a random comment in a blog on TVGuide.com that I was going to open a sanitarium to help everyone survive the time without a new episode.

Thus was born the Supernatural Obsessive Supporting Enablers Sanitarium.

Never could I have imagined in my wildest dreams where that random comment would take me … and never would I have imagined the number of inmates and friends I would gain from literally around the world. Amazing!!! A virtual building in a virtual blogosphere, my little sanitarium had an address (the corner of Bonkers and Mayhem in a little town in the State of Confusion) and a motto … “Madness ... or brilliance. It's remarkable how often those two traits coincide.” … that was selected by (I believe – please correct me if I’m wrong) by our sweet BrittPup in a quote from the movie “The Pirates of the Caribbean – Curse of the Black Pearl”.

Over the course of the following two years, my little sanitarium grew at astounding rates. From a simple Ramble Room, Keeper’s Office and individual rooms complete with posters … everyone’s imagination added more. We gained classrooms and a library, a testosterone section, a party room and several playrooms. We had a South Wing devoted to the more insane of my inmates, an International Wing, a hospital wing, and a dungeon. A meditation room was frequented – particularly after a model of The Impala was stationed there. A Room of Spoilage, swimming pools, gardens and rooftop escapes could be found, not to mention road trip busses and escape tunnels to Yemen for those who had decided to creatively destroy a portion of my little building, thus causing my virtual property insurance rates to soar.

It was a virtual world, but it was a very real escape and blessing for me and for each inmate that entered. It was our place for all things Supernatural … to discuss episodes, to contemplate spoilers and speculate, to ruminate on themes and to descend into insane madness over the hotness of henleys, flannel shirts, and a couple of good looking hunters.

November 17, 2008 – TV Guide broke my heart when it took a wrecking ball and tried to destroy my little sanitarium. I can’t begin to say how this hurt me. How my heart aches still when I think back to those fun times and enlightening conversations that were dismissed with the push of a button. I stil say "shame on you, TVG" for the way it was so discourteously handled and I mourn for those inmates who we couldn not locate, who came in after that day to find we were all gone.

My little sanitarium still thrives … it’s just been franchised out to various locations … LJ, Plurk, BFZ to name a few … not to mention what occasionally explodes in my email. It’s not the same and real life makes it difficult for me to find time to make rounds in each location. However, whatever branch is visited - they all still contain the most important part … the heart of my little sanitarium which resides within each and every inmate and the individual and group friendships that have formed over the years.

People say that Supernatural is just a television show … that my little sanitarium is just a silly fantasy. I can give you the names of over 30 people (and the knowledge that there were more hidden - lurking - reading, watching, and enjoying) who have passed the doors of this Sanitarium for the Supernaturally Obsessed over the last couple of years who will tell you differently.

I’ve been blessed to be the Keeper of the Keys to the Sanitarium and I, along with my faithful FSBs, will work to continue to keep the doors open as long as The Kripke keeps producing our favorite show.

4) Oooooooak-lahoma! (Where the wind comes sweeping down the plains! Where the wavin’ wheat can sure smell sweet when the wind comes right behind the rains!) … Yes. I live in Oklahoma … Broken Arrow, Oklahoma to be exact. Wasn’t born here, wasn’t even raised here … but after growing up as the daughter of an employee of IBM (which some may think stands for International Business Machines, but those of us who know better, know that it stands for I’ve Been Moved – Many Times) and living in several different states, I somehow ended up settling here in 1990. It’s kinda funny from the standpoint that I actually did live in Oklahoma while in college at Oklahoma Baptist University, but I never dreamt I would actually choose to live here as a “grown up”. However, my home IS here now and so is my heart, for this is where my three girlies live. My oldest girlie will be following me to OBU next year as a college freshman and I couldn’t be prouder.

As for the wind … do we really want to discuss the wind?? It blows. A lot. A whole lot. Every day. You can count on your two hands the number of days that occur during the summer where the wind doesn’t blow. In the morning, you fight to keep your car on the road as it buffets you from the south and in the evening, you fight to keep your car on the road as it tosses you from the north. We are the heart of tornado alley and that right there tells you that wind is something you respect when you live in Oklahoma. You also learn to live with it and to simply be prepared for those springtime trips to the bathroom for cover. You learn that short hair is good, but if your hair is long - pony tails are much better than loose hair. Walking with one hand holding your skirt down is an art that is learned young. Having the trashman collect your trash from the neighbor’s curb three streets over is not unheard of.

Rodgers and Hammerstein made it seem romantic … but those of us who live here know the truth. If you truly want to feel the power of the wind … work in a building with more than four stories. I worked for 18 months on the 32^nd floor of a 60 story building. When you actually feel the building swaying you know it’s time to find another job!

5) Rambles … Huh. I think this meme is beginning to resemble a ramble. *sigh* Lengthy tomes written to scare printers and numb the minds of those who wander by.

*grins*

Rose’s Rambles … that’s the name of my very first blog site at TVGuide. Since I tend to write the way I talk, and my father always tells me I can ramble on for hours, it seemed appropriate. Particularly since I was writing about a wandering journey of two brothers. My rambles were initially centered on Supernatural, on Dean & Sam Winchester (and their father!). It became my delight to wander through an episode, to discuss, to contemplate. I love looking at each episode as a part of a tapestry - so rich and vibrant - much like those that were woven in the past and hung in castles and fortresses, telling the story of battles fought and wars waged. Each episode, beginning with the Pilot and moving forward until this most recent, Sex & Violence, contain threads that weave in and out of the tapestry - layering it - at once seeming so complex and yet, at closer look, making it seem so simple.

My rambles seemed to take on a life of their own, growing with each passing episode, as the story of the Winchesters journey - seeking their father, hunting the demon that killed their mother, finding themselves smack dab in the middle of the war that was coming - grew. Still, I enjoy piecing them together, remembering the episode, seeing how it fits with those that preceed it.

It warms my heart that there are those who read them and enjoy them. *blushes* I may write them for myself, but it gives a special thrill to know that they are being read.

And that ends this rambling response of a meme. Thank you Professor for letting me play. :-)

31 Years ... 31 Quotes ... A Birthday Party for Jensen

Sun, 01 Mar 2009 14:28:09 GMT

Hey, everyone!

After spending all day (okay not ALL day, but enough to get frustrated) yesterday attempting to post my ramble, I'm going to put that aside and try to post this. If I'm lucky ... you're reading this. If I'm not ...I'm truly going to be frustrated and no one is going to wish to speak to me.

However, it's a special day and I want to give this a shot before heading into my crazy Sunday.

Enjoy!

March 1, 2009

Someone’s having a birthday today.

Three guesses as to who it is.

Right … as if any good Supernatural fan really needs three guesses in order to give the correct answer.

*grins*

Think we should have a party?

I think we should.

Welcome to the Sanitarium’s party room! Today we virtually celebrate the thirty-first birthday of Jensen Ackles, portrayer of Supernatural’s flawed hero, Dean Winchester. I hope that you will all stop in for a slice of cake and a bit of fun. As tradition dictates, I have a party game for all who wish to participate. However, before we start the game, I would like for you all to raise a glass of your favorite beverage and toast this special young man who has captured our hearts.

Happiest of birthdays, Jensen! It is your day and we hope that it is a day filled with fun and laughter, with friends and family – both near and far. May you have a year … and a future … filled with continued success and goodness. Through the ups and downs of life, may you always be able to find the blessings to touch your heart and enrich your soul.

Thank you for all that you have given to us, your fans. You have gifted us with your talent, bringing to life a character so rich, so complex, so unique – a character with depth and heart. Sincerely, we do thank you.

Enjoy your day … and all that it brings. Congratulations and Happy Birthday!

Now then … for the game … I thought about getting creative, however time grew short and so I’m falling back to tradition and listening to the requests of my inmates … bringing to you a quiz of dialogue. Are you ready to test your skill with the quotable Dean Winchester?

In honor of Jensen’s thirty-one years … I bring you a game of two parts, plus a bonus. :-) The answers can be located in any of the 74 episodes we currently have received throughout the four seasons.

Got paper and pencil?

Think you’re ready?

Okie doke … here we go …

Part One: Who is Dean Talking About?

Pretty straight forward … in each line, Dean is referring to someone. Can you tell me who it is and in which episode the line is said?

1) “You’ve gotta be kidding me. This guy’s no genius.”
2) “You two are like peas in a pod.”
3) “So then, you know he’s gonna die.”
4) “Turns out he wasn’t cremated, he was buried in a pine box.”
5) “A young girl has been kidnapped by an evil cult.”
6) “This is the one you want.”
7) “No, we were actually talking about our feelings. And then our favorite boy bands. Yeah – we were talking a case.”
8) “Oh, he’s not doing it. Something else is doing it for him.”
9) “I hope to hell he’s wrong, but I’m starting to get a little scared that he might be right.”
10) “Could be he’s just having fun and forgot to check in.”
11) “She’s a Sagittarius. She loves tequila, I mean … wow.”
12) “He was just one of those guys. Took some terrible beatings – just kept comin’.”
13) “You know what he said? Some good advice.”
14) “No one good.”
15) “She’s got this on-and-off thing going with Drew. He dubbed me an extra copy.”

Part Two: Plain Old Quotes

This one’s easy. Here’s the quote … Dean said it … what’s the episode and scene?

1) “That was about as fun as getting kicked in the jewels.”
2) “Well, maybe the cops are right.”
3) “We know a little about a lot of things. Just enough to make us dangerous.”
4) “Don’t tell me it’s already starting.”
5) “Friggin’ cops.”
6) “He’s a real drag on stakeouts.”
7) “That’s just chum in the water.”
8) “Look into my eyes and tell me if I’m lying about this.”
9) “You tell me, am I guilty?”
10) “Feelings are overrated if you ask me.”
11) “One stop shopping.”
12) “I don’t mean to be harsh, but I don’t think you’re gonna get too far.”
13) “Someone send this clown packing.”
14) “We save a lot of people doin’ it, too.”
15) “Hey! I read.”

So that’s it … 30 quotes for you to figure out. But wait! Jensen’s thirty-one this year! We need just one more. *taps chin* Okay … bonus question for the additional year:

Dean and Sam are always using fake IDs – everything from Bikini Inspectors to Priests. Besides using their badges, their other favorite seems to be Insurance Inspectors. In which episode did Dean tell someone they were questioning that they represented the insurance company “All National Mutual”?

There you have it. Hope you enjoy.

I’m glad you stopped in to the party. We’ll have to do it again next year … especially since we’ll have even more episodes to draw from with SEASON FIVE!!! Woot!

Happy Birthday, Jensen Ackles!

Type your cut contents here.

Oh ... and if this works ... I'll be back this evening to try and post my ramble again. :-)

It's Thursday, Therefore It Must Be Supernatural

Thu, 26 Feb 2009 08:49:10 GMT

Even if it is a re-run. Doesn't matter. For me, Thursdays are simply Supernatural. :-)

So ... what better day for me to come back here to my little Ramble Room, dust out the cobwebs, and get back to the business of writing ... of rambling about the show that got me to start writing in the first place?

*flexes fingers*

With the exception of Dean’s birthday and Kim Manner’s passing, it’s been a long time since I’ve been able to conjure the writing mojo. To be honest, I’m not even sure how those two pieces actually came about and I’m simply glad they did. However, over the last few days it seems to be coming back to me. I can definitely say that it’s making me very happy. I won’t go to details … I’ve done that already elsewhere … but I will say that I’ve missed being here, in my little Ramble Room. I’ve missed writing my thoughts and exploring the pattern of Supernatural’s journey this year. We’re fourteen episodes into the fourth season and I’ve written only one blog about it.

*sigh*

I really can’t blame it on TVG’s closing of my beloved Sanitarium as my writing began to waver long before that fell day. I also cannot in honesty say it’s based on the events of this season. My passion for the show is not lost … not in the least. In some ways it’s become even more intrinsic in my thoughts, as I look forward to each ep, as I watch and discuss it with my girlies and a couple of friends. After actually seeing The Boys and others last November, it was as though the show became even more personal to me. This season has been awesome in so many ways. Perhaps my mind simply overloaded on ideas and concepts I wanted to discuss and explore. This fourth season has been incredible … each episode bringing something more – visiting the past in obscure ways and changing the focus of the future.

Wow!

I want to talk about it!!!

I want to share with those of my friends who also enjoy this wonderful show my thoughts and hear yours!!!

I want to write … dag-nabbit!!

*grins*

Luckily, as I said, the mojo seems to be returning. I’m not making promises and I’m not telling you when or what to expect to see come about.

I’m simply going to clean my Supernatural closet.

*pauses for collective “Huh???”*

I’m one of those people who like structure. Could be because I work with kids and kids thrive on stability and structure in their days. I’m not guaranteeing that though, because I’m pretty sure I was this way before I turned 16 and began my first job at a daycare. More than likely it falls back to the structure I was given as a kid. Mom was an organized soul also and growing up each day passed with a particular task … Monday’s were laundry, Tuesday’s were ironing, Wednesday’s were church, Thursday’s were cleaning, Friday’s were groceries … you get the picture. As kids, my brother and I had tasks each day that were to be completed. Nothing major – just your basic “I’m a kid, therefore I must have chores” routine. This included the daily making of beds and the weekly cleaning of rooms. Tidy and dusted and vacuumed … those were the basic chores we had to handle. Every week I cleaned my room.

My closet, however, was a different subject. I have been lucky to have some ginourmous closets. Miniature rooms where I could store my clothes, hide my messes, revel in alone time (you have a pesky little brother 6 years younger and see if you don’t hide in your closet to get away), play and dream and put all the things I collected through the week out of sight and away from pesky little brothers or interested parents. I loved my closets and the variety they contained … the mess they became.

My mood seemed to be tied to my closet. As long as everything was tidy and organized, I was good … happy and able to meet each day. As time would pass, the more cluttered the closet, the more frustrated and unfocused I would become.

After a time … when things became too jumbled and I became unable to locate even the largest of items or … um … clean Sunday clothes … with ease, it would become necessary for me to clean out my closet. Seriously clean out my closet. This was usually an all day event, oftentimes extending deep into the night because I would not just go in and straighten things up. I would go in … pull out EVERYTHING … and start anew – sorting, cleaning, discarding, replacing, and organizing in a orderly manner.

The result would be a closet ready for my new adventures … new collections … new dreams.

Recently I cleaned my Supernatural closet.

I didn’t even realize what I had done until one evening I was getting frustrated because there were folders on my computer desk top that had no where to go but overtop one of the faces of one of my beloved Winchesters that look out at me from my computer screen. There was too much clutter! So I began cleaning and organizing my desktop … literally pulling up each folder, perusing each document, sorting out each picture file.

I was amazed. I cannot tell you the number of blogs that I have started and discarded. Each episode listed with pages of notes and pictures, pieces of thoughts, writings that would seem to start out strong and then … just … end.

I looked at them all.

I read them all.

I sorted and filed … recreating master folders … dividing up my regular writing from my Supernatural writing. I read through the blogs started … throwing away some … storing others to reference for notes … putting others together for that moment of inspiration.

It took me a couple of evenings and a Saturday, but I got it all read through and completed. My desktop is now organized with only four folders and the rugged faces of the handsome Winchester men once again look out at me from this desktop of mine.

Once this was completed, I felt charged and ready to go.

Ready to write … ready to ramble once again.

So, I am coming back to my Ramble Room to let you know that I hope you will stop in on occasion, for I am planning to do some posting. As I stated earlier, I’m not making promises of what will come or when it will appear, but I’m going back … to those episodes that I’ve missed discussing … back to the beginning of the season four. I hope that you will join me.

This has been an extraordinary season so far. Each episode has offered so much to the overall tapestry that The Kripke and his crew continue to weave. The threads that have been woven since that very first season are being pulled tighter and more vibrantly than ever, while new threads are being woven … casting shadows and adding dimensions that in our wildest dreams we never would have imagined when we first watched wee little Dean accept the burden of his baby brother from his father as the fires of hell seemed to burn all around.

I know, because even though I haven’t actively discussed it online, I have had an ear to the thoughts of my inmates and the fandom in general, that there is much concern and dissension regarding the direction the episodes seem to be heading.

My response at this point to those thoughts is to simply say what I’ve said before … this season … like the previous three seasons are like books in a series. Each episode being a chapter in the book … weaving the tale of the Winchester Brothers as they journey. We don’t know how the book is going to end … we haven’t read the last chapter. Until we get there … until the last episode brings us the final words … all we can do is speculate as to what is coming. Much like Harry Potter and Voldemort … we don’t know until that final chapter of the final book, what is going to happen. We can only hope and pray that Good will vanquish Evil and that our Boys will be alive to tell the heroes tale.

Personally, I am on pins and needles … waiting to see where this season heads … anxious for what the next season will bring.

Meanwhile, I’m gonna start writing again … rambling again …

The room’s a bit different to me, but my closet is clean and I’m ready to share with you some of the thoughts that I’ve had. I realized I said I wasn’t going to promise anything, but I will say this … I’m not posting this until I have at least two more rambles ready to wander on.

Anyone interested in wandering with me?

If so, I've now dusted the cobwebs and made myself a fresh pot of tea. I'll be here shortly with my first installment.

It feels good to be back! :-)

Sorry ... Nothing Supernatural Here ...

Sat, 31 Jan 2009 17:57:02 GMT

... not right now ... I'm just playing.

I've missed Whimsy's quizzes and so I went out and found one on my own.

So Whims ... this one's for you. See what you made me learn about myself! :-)

</div>

I Don't Like Losing People

Tue, 27 Jan 2009 01:06:55 GMT

*sigh*

Many of you know that I work with the elderly. You would think that I would get used to the words "they died". That I would get used to death. But I don't.  I don't like those words.

They hurt.

Those two words ... "they died" ... when place paired with the name of an individual I know ... hurt.

Sometimes they hurts more than others. I know the ideals ... they aren't suffering any more ... they are in a better place ... they are now at peace ... and I do believe them. However, that doesn't mean that those family and friends, aquaintances or just people who have been touched from a distance, don't feel the grief and sorrow of the passing. That their hearts can't hurt.

Heck ... I was about strangled with grief when Jake stabbed Sammy in the back in May 2007 and I had to watch him die in his brother's arms. Then I felt as though my own heart had been ripped out when Dean was killed last May and sent to Hell! These are fictional characters, not actual living beings. Yet my heart did ache and I did grieve.

Therefore, you might understand why it saddens me and hurts my heart to learn of the passing of our beloved Supernatural director - Kim Manners.

I will admit ... Supernatural is one of the few shows where I ever truly paid attention to the diverse styles of the directors involved, much less the director's names.

David Nutter was the first.

Kim Manners was the second.

I remember looking up Kim Manners on IMDB and being astounded that this man had been connected to, had directed so many episodes of so many shows that I had loved and enjoyed over the years. No, I wasn't an X-File fan ... yes, yes, I know ... blasphemous I know ... still, I wasn't. Not at the time but I will confess it's on my Netflx list and one day I will let it come to the top. I knew that Mr. Manners had been credited with much of X-Files, so at first glance, at first thought, I wasn't excited.

Till Dead in the Water.

While I was hooked from before the first episode aired on this little show called Supernatural, only to have my excitement confirmed by the viewing of the first two eps, it was Dead in the Water that sealed my passion and made me want to write, made me want to shout.

So much richness in one hour of television! The laughter and the heartache, the creepy factor and their sheer silliness, not to mention the wonderful capturing of some of our all time favorite brotherly moments ...

- the two boys in the hotel room, Sam looking up info on the computer, Dean sniffng and sorting laundry
- the look on both of their faces in the car as they try to figure out how to find the house Peter had drawn ... "College boy, thinks he's so smart"
- the moment later in the car when Dean can't leave town and Sam wonders "who are you and what have you done with my brother?"

These moments and so many more were captured so beautifully through the eye of Kim Manners, but, even further, ask anyone about this ep and the scene that immediately will come to mind is the beautiful one that is just moments ... where Dean rises gasping from the water, young Lucas clutched against his chest, grief and desperation etched on his face ... beautifully choregraphed and captured for all time by the wonderful director.

He himself noted that as a particularly memorable moment during the questioning at the Paley Festival in 2006.

{Side note: Another fun trivia about that ep ... the guest star on it ... Daniel Hugh Kelly ... he starred on one of Kim Manner's first television shows - Hardcastle and McCormick.}

Kim Manners is ... was ... a fan favorite. Knowing that he was at the helm always guaranteed an episode charged with emotional close-ups and depth ... final scene of Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things, anyone?  How about the ending of Fresh Blood?  There were the creepy factors ... Scarecrow ... and the heart numbing moments ... Heart ... Houses of the Holy ... Mystery Spot. Kim Manners could even take those episodes that weren't fan favorites, the ones that didn't have the ... um, shall we say greatest of scripts? ... and give them scenes that were not only unforgettable, but also moved us ... opened the way to glimpse a bit more into the Winchester psyche ... Bugs & No Exit (not to mention freaking the heck out of me with popping up that creepy eye in the light switch socket in the beginning!).

I'll admit ... the pairing of Kim Manners with my fave gal, Sera Gamble always delighted, thrilled, and totally wigged me out. I always knew that the two of them would make my heart ache and my eyes pop at some point in time during their episode. However, the true pairing came at the end and the beginning of every season (except for The Pilot). Between them, The Kripke writing and Kim Manners directing, we were sent into summer hiatus with episodes that shocked our souls and kept us talking all summer long.  Then, just when we couldn't take it any longer, they broke our summr fasting and met our anticipation with episodes that drew us right back in and kept us coming back for more.

Through Mr. Manners guidance and viewpoint ... through his eyes ... we were given gifts. Gifts that every Supernatural fan cherishes ...

- the introduction of a beloved junkyard hunter
- the exorcism of a snarky, yet intriguing demon
- the possession of a father by the demon he'd vowed to kill
- the crashing of the beloved Impala
- the spirit of an older brother in a coma
- the relentless reaper
- the grief of a little brother
- the bargain between a father and a demon
- the grief of an older brother
- the bargain between a brother and a demon
- the opening of a gate to hell
- the release of a legion of demons
- the release of a father from hell
- the determination of a little brother to save his older brother
- the determination of an older brother to not let his little brother break his deal
- the battle of the seven deadly sins
- the realization that the war on evil truly did get a whole lot bigger and harder to win
- the fear of time passing too quickly
- the fear that the deal couldn't be broken
- the fear that a little brother couldn't save his older brother
- the fear of an older brother whose time was up
- the fear of what was to come, only to be replaced by the terror of watching it happen
- the awakening in a coffin
- the rising to a gravesite laid waste
- the solitary reentry to life
- the reunion with a man like a father
- the reunion with a little brother
- the introduction of a hot psychic
- the realization that a little brother broke a promise
- the realization that divine intervention brought back an older brother

Each of these moments, as you picture them in your head may have been scripted by The Kripke, they may have been brought to life through the acting of Jensen, Jared, Jim, Jeffrey, Nikki, and others, but they could not have been done without the visualization of one of the great directors of television.

While other directors would have done a creditable job, these moments were indelibly etched into our minds through the direction of Kim Manners.

His guidance and creativity will be sorely missed by his fans ... by this fan ... even as the man himself will be sorely missed by his friends and loved ones.

We're all grieving and our hearts are heavy with sorrow.

Dear Mr. Manners ... thank you for the gifts you gave us through your talent. We will treasure it always. Our thoughts and prayers are with your family and friends. Be at peace.

Dean Winchester is Having a Birthday and the Party Room is Open!

Sat, 24 Jan 2009 17:53:32 GMT

Okay ... let's see if I can do this. I've been having some difficulties with LJ lately.

Oh ... and it should be noted that I actually wrote this AFTER watching Family Remains and BEFORE I watched Criss Angel, the timing of it comes inbetween the two. If that makes sense. Um ... also ... I've kinda alluded to the party I threw last year. If you want to read that ... I managed to salvage it before the heathen at TVG got busy with the wrecking ball. Just let me know.

Oh ... and one other thing ... I'm gonna try to post over at the BFZ but I've not really been there before and I'm not sure how that will work, so if you don't see it there and think there are some TVG people there who might enjoy it ... well ... help a Keeper out?? :-)

*****************************************

The young man’s eyes snapped open as he moved from the realm of sleep to that of awareness with a slight heart stopping gasp. Lying perfectly still, waiting for his heart to slow down from a pounding gallop, he adjusted from the utter darkness and the sounds of his nightmare to the calming familiarity of a motel heater grinding and the muted traffic noise outside the window. Turning his head to the side and checking the bright red digital numbers of the bedside clock, he realized that he had actually gotten a couple of hours of real sleep before his subconscious decided once again to turn back the clock a few months and his time in ... nope ... not gonna go there.

Eyes adjusted to the shadows of the room made by garish curtains pulled as tightly together as possible, meaning good size cracks of light showing through each side and down the middle, the young man realized he was alone. The other bed was empty, the chair pushed up to the table, the laptop closed, the bathroom door open to a completely dark room. Pushing up to his elbows, he once again looked over towards the table between the beds and noticed a torn piece of sack with some writing on it.

“Checking out bookstore down the street. Decided to walk. Will bring back food.”

Huh.

Flopping back onto the bed, he debated whether to attempt to go back to sleep or to get up and go back through one of the books he’d been researching to figure out what was going on in this town. Deciding against sleep … it’s overrated anyway … he got up and, after splashing some water on his face in the tiny motel bathroom, headed back towards the books.

Rounding the corner of his brother’s bed, his foot caught on the not quite matching paisley spread, nearly sending him head first to meet the carpet. Jerking his foot back, as he found his balance, he caught sight of something bright and shiny. Reaching down, he pulled out a slim, but long box … “hmm, heavy sucker” … gaily wrapped with shiny paper and actually boasting a bright red bow on top.

“What the … ?”

Suspicions gathering, he laid the box down on his brother’s bed and went over to the table, pushing aside the printed papers & macabre pictures to get to yesterday’s paper buried underneath. Checking the date, he gave a mental groan.

“No … nonononono … no!”

Today was January 24th ... his birthday. Not only his birthday, but his 30^th birthday. He remembered last year’s little impromptu party in the back of the bar … the cake that had been embarrassing and also … secretly … touching. He remembered the way his brother’s eyes glistened as he toasted with a long neck, fiercely declaring that his big brother WOULD have a 30^th birthday. Well, he’d been right … even if it had taken going to hell and back.

His brother had promised a big blowout … “God, I really hope he was kidding about that moon jump” … and suddenly he realized he couldn’t stay in the room. He knew that the minute his little brother got back, he would be working to get him to the destination of the promised party.

“No! Nonononononono … No!”

Grabbing the battered leather jacket off the back of the chair and searching for his keys, he raced out of their room towards the sleek, black beauty that was always waiting for him. Sliding into the car, closing the door, he grasped the wheel and laid his head forward, willing his heart to slow down. He couldn’t deal. He just couldn’t face it … cake and candles and presents and well wishes … he couldn’t. It wasn’t right.

Starting up the engine, listening to its rumbling life for just a moment, hand on the gear shift, he sat there … quiet and still … trying to decide where to go … what to do.

How could his brother think that he would want to deal with a party?

What was he going to do … have a mixer with some hunters, a couple of angels, and a demon? Wonder what kind of invitations got sent for that.

No … he couldn’t stay. He couldn’t believe his brother would try to spring something like this on him … not after everything he had told him of his memories. Not while they are in the middle of this war … in the middle of all this evil. What kind of crazy person would try to plan a party?

He sat back against the seat and glanced over at the passenger side.

His freakishly tall little brother … that’s who.

His little brother who, on his sixth birthday after opening the presents the older boy had managed from the second hand bookstore, feeling very wise now that he was six, questioned his older brother about why they never had a party for HIS birthday and cried when he was told that you don’t need birthday parties when you get bigger.

His little brother who woke him up the next year … the day after his birthday, but hey, the little kid was only six … with a gleeful shout, a package of two hostess cupcakes – a bit smashed from being hidden under a pillow, and a box cracker jacks with the solemn promise that it was really okay if he were to help his big brother eat the popcorn, cause it was actually the prize that was the present … the popcorn was just the wrapping paper.

His little brother who demanded that their dad take them somewhere special for dinner the next year … first with a jut of his little seven year old chin and a glare in his eye that slowly began to falter and glisten as their father, who had obviously forgotten the date, just looked at him, unable to understand why his little boy was suddenly ordering him around, before he quietly whispered in a trembling voice … “Please, Daddy. It’s his birthday and I couldn’t find any cupcakes.”

The pizza had been good that year and the fact that their dad actually took them bowling afterwards had delighted both of the brothers … having them declare it to be the best birthday ever.

Blinking his eyes quickly, the young man shifted the car's gear and sped out of the parking lot. Birthdays were for little kids. They weren’t for guys that had lived the life he led … seen the things that he had seen … done the things that he had done.

No!

“Sorry little brother … but cancel the shindig cause I’m not doing the moon jump this year.”

Passing the bookstore, he hesitated, almost stopping and going in to give his brother an earful, but decided against it knowing full well that his little brother would effectively turn his tirade around and head him right back to wherever it was that he planned to hold his birthday blowout.

Nope … he wasn’t even going to give the dude a chance. He’d planned and arranged it … well … he could just un-plan it!

Driving around the small town for a bit, the young man realized the flaw in his haste … there really wasn’t anyplace to go. He wasn’t really hungry and, whether his brother would believe it or not, he wasn’t in the mood to make time in a bar – drinking or hustling. Not this time. The town wasn’t big enough for a movie theater and he wasn’t feeling up to driving the extra 30 minutes to get to the city that did have one.

Great! Just freakin’ great! It’s his birthday and he’s driving around avoiding his party and can’t figure out anything else to do. Stupid one horse little town with an evil problem that they can’t seem to figure out what it is yet!

Turning the corner past the grocery store, his eye caught on a sign … Fast Lanes … and suddenly, he grinned. Pulling into the almost empty parking lot, he got out, pocketed his keys, and head inside. Opening the glass door, he made his way through the dark entry listening to the intermittent sounds of thuds and rolling balls, of pins clattering as they fell. His senses took in the smells of popcorn and beer, of pizza and shoe deodorant. As he approached the long counter, he found it was empty, rows of cubbies behind it filled with tacky shoes of all sizes waiting. Past the cubbies and stretching out on either side were the smooth, brightly lit lanes of the bowling alley and the racks of balls of all sizes and weights. Off to his left, he saw a young kid wielding a huge mop and bucket against the tide of water that seemed to be never-ending coming from the old upright water fountain. Another, seemingly older, boy joined him … squatting down beside the ancient machine and pulling a wrench from his back pocket while hollering to the young man that they would “be with ya in just a few minutes!”

Leaning his arms on the counter, the young man’s frame seemed to finally relax as he, first watched the water fight and then just let his gaze roam over the lanes … relaxing further as he watched the ghosts of a man with two small children laughing as they struggled to roll the balls to their destination, even more gleeful when they watched fascinated as the ball they’d just thrown popped back up in front of them out of the dark hole beside the alley.

The young man heard the door behind him open … felt the rush of cold air do battle with the warm air inside the bowling alley. He felt the approach of his little brother, sensed his presence long before a word was spoken.

“I saw the car.”

He nodded in acknowledgement … never actually turning.

“I also saw you found your present.”

Again, another nod.

“What are you doing here, man?”

Shaking his head, not ready to give up the memories, not ready to return to the reality of their life, he kept his back to his little brother and just shrugged his shoulders.

“You ran … didn’t you? You thought I had planned a party and you ran.”

The voice was soft … factual … not angry … not accusing. It was just the voice of his little brother calmly figuring out the answer to his own question.

“I didn’t, you know. I didn’t plan a party. I thought about it. I wanted to. And I’m not the only one. Bobby’s still pissed that we’re here and not at his house. But somehow I figured you weren’t really in the party mood. Plus … we aren’t really known for our big blowout bashes.”

The young man turned around, leaning back against the counter as he raised his eyes up to the softly smiling eyes of his little brother.

Clearing his throat … he gestured towards the alleys and asked, “Do you remember the year you bullied Dad into celebrating my birthday?”

He watched as his little brother looked around with puzzled eyes, his mind searching for the memory that had evidently captured his older brother. He saw the moment the eyes cleared and the memory caught. He heard the soft “oh!” as his little brother relived the evening that the three of them had spent laughing and playing and so … normal.

“Wow. That was a long time ago. What made you think of that?”

A shrug of the shoulders and a soft, “I don’t know, man, it was just a night. But it was a good night.”

Glancing over, he saw that the two young men had won their war against the overflowing water fountain and were finishing cleaning up.

Pushing away from the counter before one of the young men made their way over, he looked at his little brother and said, “Come on. You found me. Might as well go do whatever it was that you wanted to do.”

Putting his hand against his brother’s chest, the younger man halted him.

“No, man, this is good. Let’s stay.”

“But … the present … the party …”

“Dude, there’s no party. I picked you up a gift and figured I’d make you crazy and wrap it up all fancy. I was gonna stop and bring back something from that diner by the motel when I saw you drive by the bookstore.”

“No party?”

“No. No party. Sorry, dude, didn’t even get you an over-the-hill cake.”

“Oh.”

Looking down at his shoes, he suddenly felt so foolish. He must be getting old … this birthday nonsense was making him crazy. First he couldn’t deal with the fact that his little brother was throwing him a bash and now his suddenly feeling disappointed that the bash wasn’t real.

Laughing, the younger man turned him back around to the counter as the kid approached them, thanking them for waiting while he dried off his hands.

“Come on, dude. Let’s bowl some balls and drink some beer and have a pizza.”

******

A few hours later, he was lacing up his boots after changing out of the dorky shoes and feeling lighter than he had in quite a while, as his brother went to return their shoes. Standing up, he reached to pick up his jacket when his little brother approached him … hand behind his back. Looking over, his eyes widened as he watched a cupcake with a brightly lit candle stuck in the top came out and behind his brother the two kids from the alley and the teenage girl from the snack bar were joined by a couple of older bowlers and they all began singing Happy Birthday … really off key.

Grinning down at his older brother, the young man handed him the vending machine cupcake and said, “You know … you could look at it this way … you don’t have to be an old man of 30. You’ve been given the gift of a new life and I for one can’t be happier for that. So … Happy First Birthday, Dean! Now blow out the candle and let’s get back to work.”

*******************************************************

Okie dokie then!!!

Welcome once again to the Party Room! Yes, the address has changed but the spirit has not. There are all types of food on the sideboard and beverages in the little fridge underneath and, of course there’s our boy’s birthday cake. Please be sure to help yourselves.

However, before we do anything else, I would like for you to take a moment with me and raise your favorite beverage in honor of the birthday boy.

*raises cup of tea high*

Let us all give a toast to Dean Winchester … the character who so captures our hearts and minds. He has a wicked sense of humor and haunting eyes. His depth of compassion and his fierce dedication to protecting people are just a part of why we all love him so much. The lengths to which he has gone and will go to protect his little brother give evidence to the depth of his love. He is at once a very simple individual – a man with a car and not much else, and yet he has unfathomable depths. He was formed with words on a page by The Kripke and his merry band of evil torturers/writers. He was given life and dimension by the gifted acting of Jensen Ackles.

Dean has had, literally, the year from hell and the future is still looking rather bleak … even if it does include angels. However, his journey is not close to complete and I have faith in our writers that if they can raise the dead, they can give a hero a tiny bit of peace.

Happy 30^th Birthday, Dean!! Or … in light of your resurrection and new gift of life … Happy First! Either way, we look forward to celebrating with you again next year!

Did You See? Did You See???

Fri, 02 Jan 2009 02:17:18 GMT

Not that I'm proud or anything. Nope. Not at all.

*grins*

To all of you who commented on my previous blog advising you of my girlie marching in the Tournament of Roses Parade ... thanks so much for your support. To tell you that she is having a wonderful time would be a total understatement. The frequency of the texting gives such amusing glimpses into her week. After the parade I received two messages ... 1) she wasn't dead from exhaustion (yay!) and 2) she was needing some new feet and calves, could I provide them (um ... poor sweetie). But then she ended it with a giggle and I knew she was just fine.

To those of you who texted or emailed that you saw our kids marching ... wasn't it fun??? Awesome.

For those of you who might have missed it and would like to see ... they have posted their official Tournament of Roses Parade entry in it's entirety ... SO COOL!!! ... and while we can't pinpoint her exactly (*pouts*), it is still a thrill to see the kids marching.

So ... if you'd like to see ... I present to you The Pride Of Broken Arrow Marching High School Band:

Wow!

Invitation to a Parade with Pride

Wed, 31 Dec 2008 06:46:00 GMT

Okay ... I don't normally post personal stuff on LJ, but this is something special.

I had planned to post it on TVGuide ... but ... well ... yeah, THAT's not going to happen. However, I truly hope that I can get this to as many of my inmates as I possibly can.

After all this time together, you all know how special my girlies are to me ... and this is something truly awesome for one of my girlies, in particular.

So ... set your alarms, your Tivos, your DVR's, your VCRs ... cause The Keeper has something special she wants you to see. Okay???

Have you ever seen the movie, Mr. Holland's Opus? It's awesome and I highly recommend it. One of my favorite parts is when Mr. Holland (the high school music teacher) creates a high school marching band. It's fairly hysterical watching him try to assemble his students into a marching formation, yet in the end it is a wonderful moment watching him lead his marching band down the street in the depiction of a hometown parade.

I love parades. I love the floats and the clowns and the classic cars and the horses. Most of all, I love the bands.

Picture it ... the sun is shining bright ... you arrived early in order to stake out a good curbside seat ... people are milling around, finding places, spreading blankets, laughing, smiling. Policemen have blocked off the ends of the route and all the side access streets, so the path is clear. Childre are running in and out of the middle of the street, straining to get their first glimpse of the parade as it starts to make it's way down the street. Sitting there ... you hear it long before you can see the band ... the beat of the drums, the resonance of the various instruments as they come together in a blend of harmony. Louder and louder they get as they march towards you ... lines even, backs straight, heads up, steps proud ... their formation unbroken as the music moves past.

Yep. Big city or small town ... live or on television ... I love a parade.

This is my eldest girlie's seventh year in band. She's been marching in our hometown parades for seven years now. She began as a 6th grader in middle school and now she is a high school senior.

In the 9th grade, my girlie became a member of The Pride of Broken Arrow Marching Band. This is not a small feat. This band is serious business. We're in Oklahoma ... an area where football reigns everywhere from little league to high school to college to national ... and while we have a great high school football team ... it is our marching band that brings people from all over, that fills the stands, that win the recognition not only locally but also statewide, regionally and ... in 2006 ... nationally when the Pride of Broken Arrow became the 2006 Grand National Champions.

My girlie was a 15 and a sophmore at the time.

This coming year ... 2009 ... as a senior ... my girlie is going to be marching with Pride one more time in a parade. I would like to invite each and every one of you to join me in watching her.

You can, you know, 'cause this parade is going to be televised.

Nationally.

It's a little parade you might have heard about previously. You see, The Pride of Broken Arrow Marching Band will be marching on January 1, 2009 in the 120th Tournament of Roses Parade in Pasadena, California.

*grins with delight*

I hope you'll join us in watching ... the floats will be breathtaking, the horses will be extraordinary, and the bands will be fantastic ... especially the one with a certain special saxophone player.

She'll be the one in the line behind the cymbals - first one on the left from the middle.

I'll be the one on the couch ... tears in her eyes and pride in her heart.

The Pride of Broken Arrow may be an award winning marching band, but my Pride of Broken Arrow is a certain young lady who has grown from a squeaky beginner to a confident musician.

It's Thursday, Therefore It Must Be a Supernatural Christmas!

Thu, 25 Dec 2008 23:16:30 GMT

To all my friends and inmates, I wish you all a Blessed and Merry Christmas! This is just a little something that fell out of my brain and into my computer as I listened to Christmas carols and kept my mom company as she created the most wonderful scents in her kitchen. I hope you enjoy.
*******************************

Still and silent, the inky darkness seemed to envelope the black car speeding down the back road as though it had a memory sense of the twists and curves. The overhanging trees cast their shadows over the pavement as tendrils of fog swirled at the edges. As the night deepened, her driver realized that he would eventually need to slow enough to give a better traction when the visibility became even less clear. There was no moon to shine down and light their path, hidden as it was beneath the thick cover of clouds.

It didn’t matter though. Her driver knew where he was going.

Glancing over to the passenger seat, the driver grinned as he realized his brother had finally given up on his attempt to stay awake, to keep him company as he drove the dark roads. Hunched up against the door and window, long legs stretched as far as possible without encroaching near the driver’s side, it was only the fact that the position was one assumed on a regular basis that would save the young man from any truly strained muscles and neck aches. Oblivious to his brother’s grin, the exhausted young man slept, secure in his safety and calm in the peace still so recently restored to their only true home.

Returning his eyes to the road, in difference to his sleeping passenger, the driver lowered the volume on the pounding music streaming through the car’s speakers enough to soften, but not erase the pulsing rhythm of the bass line that was in tune with his own pulse. Thoughts of the coming day mingled with memories from similar days … some spent with their father, occasionally with their father and a friend or two, and, more times than should have been in their short lives, with simply his little brother for company. He shied away from the memories of the days that were spent alone, either in his favorite girl traveling or holed up in a motel room trying to will the day away with sleep and convenience store snacks.

A slight shift and a muffled snort from the passenger side of the car brought the driver out of his musings briefly to check whether it was an awakening or a deepening of slumber. Satisfied that his brother was still in the sound throes of sleep, he recalled their conversation at the beginning of the drive …

“Stopping for a holiday is a waste of time. If we hustle, we can be there by tomorrow night and maybe be able to stop whatever is going on.”
“It’s not a waste of time. A holiday is a time of being exempt from duty, from work. The work will still be there when the holiday is over. Besides, we celebrated last year.”
“Two things … 1) we were also WORKING last year or do you not remember being sliced and diced by the wicked version of the Kringle family? and 2) … last year was different.”
“Different? Yes … okay … it was different. We thought it would be the last one together. We’ve been given another … I’d say that’s a reason to celebrate, a reason to take a holiday. Besides … seems to me that THIS particular holiday would be one we need to …”
“To what? To go to church at midnight? To commune with angels – who are not too happy with us at the moment. To sing carols – which we suck at, by the way – …”
“No. To remember where we were last year and to be grateful for the divine intervention that did come and gave us … gave YOU … another chance. Come on, man. You know you really want to.”

Then the creep had pulled out the big guns …

“We did it last year when you really wanted to. I really want this this year.”

Darn manipulative sneaky little ...

Though the fact was, he had wanted to and eventually, taking enough time so that his little brother wouldn’t think he’d caved too quickly, especially after that last little nudge, he had given into the idea of going to their friend’s house to spend Christmas with his brother and the man who has become like a father – never replacing the drill sergeant that had loved and raised him but stepping up to offer support and guidance when necessary after the genuine article had gone and sacrificed himself. Not that he was going to slip down into THAT particular memory lane either. He had stipulated this was only to be a side trip and that the next day they had to be back on the road and working. His brother had grinned and agreed, pulling out his cell phone and calling to give the news of his victory.

Shaking his head, the driver took a drink of his cold coffee, grimaced and tightened his hands on the wheel as the night deepened further and the fog gave way to the beginnings of frost and light snow blanketing the passing fields and trees. From here on, there would be a chance of ice patches and snow drifts as they drew nearer to their destination. Not that he minded. Driving gave him a peace, reminding him that all the best of holidays he could remember included two things … his black beauty and his little brother. Despite all that had gone on in the last few years, the three of them were still together, and that meant something … something good … and he could hold onto that, even if it was only for a day.

The pulse of the music stopped as the DJ came on and announced the time with much laughing and ringing of bells.

Going with the impulsive urge, he slapped the back of his hand smartly to his brother’s chest, laughing as the younger man awoke startled, head swiveling around in all directions before his eyes were even really open, he yelled out to his brother…

“MERRY CHRISTMAS, SAMMY! Where’s the eggnog, dude?”

It's Thursday ... Therefore It Must Be Thanksgiving

Thu, 27 Nov 2008 08:35:46 GMT

Despite the fact that holiday lights are twinkling in the shopping center parking lot and our neighborhood holiday junkie has filled their yard with snowmen, santas, and all manner of festive decorations, it is not yet Christmas time!

I've said it before and I'll say it again ... after we eat the trick or treat candy and before we break out the stockings and the red and green M&Ms, there's a little holiday that needs some recognition.

In the scheme of things, it's not a big holiday. It's not a world wide presence It's a simple American holiday that is about more than football and eating ourselves into turkey oblivion. It's a day set aside to give thanks ... as did those pilgrims years ago for the blessings received.

All those years ago, the English settlers gave thanks for the natives that befriended them and the harvest of crops after a disasterous winter.

While I don't have a harvest of crops, I do have some awesome friends and a harvest of blessings for which I would like to take this day, before the parades begin, the cooking commences, and the football gets kicked, or thrown, or tackled or something like that.

Blessing of Family -
I give thanks each day for the family I was lucky enough to be born into. The saying goes that you can't pick your family and this is true. Therefore it is a blessing to have parents who unconditionally love me, listen to me, giving guidance yet allowing me to make my final decisions for good or for ill. It is a blessing to have a brother who may be far away in distance but is close in time of need, to care and challenge and remind me always I am not alone in this world. It is a blessing to have nieces who are growing beautiful and independent, reminders of our youth of yesterday and our hope for tomorrow. Family is truly important, and I am so incredibly grateful for mine. This year we cannot all be together physically, and while this is a momentary sorrow, I know that there are many who have lost family members over this year. Therefore I take my blessing that we shall celebrate this holiday together in our hearts and look forward to the time we may be together physically again.

Blessings of Girlies -
I give thanks each day for the three girlies who daily bring joy and love to my heart and light to my life. Each one unique and each one so special that words simply fail.

Blessings of Friends -
I give thanks each day for the friends in my life, both new and old ... both far and near. The remainder of the family saying states that you can pick your friends. I'm not always sure who has picked who, however I can state wholeheartedly that I have been truly blessed with an abundance of friends that are supportive, comforting, crazy, and joyous. I give thanks for each and every individual one.

Blessing of Freedom -
I give thanks each day for the freedom I enjoy in this grand country of ours. From the President who leads us to the troops who defend us to local law enforcement officials who protect us, I am blessed to live in this country where opportunity has been and is still available for those who seek it, where I am afforded the right to worship as I choose and voice my opinions in agreement or disagreement without fear of retaliation. It's not perfect but it's mine and I am thankful for the freedom to live in it.

Blessing of Health & Home -
I give thanks each day for the roof over my head. I give thanks for an employer that provides the opportunity earn the living that pays for the roof, as well as the amenities that go with it - such as electricity, water ... internet connection. *grins* I give thanks for the health I have and the doctor that is there when I'm not feeling quite right.

Blessing of Being Me -
I give thanks each day for the opportunity to place my feet upon the floor, look into the mirror, greet the day and simply be me. For the opportunity to enjoy my tea in the morning, to cuddle my nursery babies, to be able to sit and write seriously or nonsensical, to relax and read, to travel or stay home, to simply be me - whether laughing or crying.

And ... since it's Thursday ...

Blessing of Supernatural -
I give thanks for the television show that is unique in that through it I have found friends and with them created an imaginary Sanitarium that brings discussion and laughter, sparking a passion for writing, and learned that though the world may be huge, when given something in common it doesn't matter whether you live in the same city or on separate continents to be able to strike up a conversation that leads to more than just television. I give thanks for the creative team of writers, directors, actors, and crew that bring us the show Supernatural.

Blessings come. They are there whenever and where ever we need or want them - big or small - if we simply take the time to see them. On this day that is set aside, between the candy and the glitter, to give thanks ... I challenge you to look around and see the blessings in your life.

And give thanks for them.

It's Thursday, Therefore It Must Be Supernatural!

Thu, 09 Oct 2008 18:59:32 GMT

I was fussed at last night because it's been awhile since I've posted something. My apologies. Here's what happens when my guilt collides with a lunch hour where I'm on my own with no distractions.

You know that you have achieved a certain level of obsession when you are innocently asked the question, “Which season is your favorite?” and your reply is...

“It’s hard to narrow it down between Season One and Season Two because they each had such merit – Season One for it’s introductory value and Season Two for it’s emotional impact. I really liked what we had of Season Three, however, as of right now, even though we’ve only had 3 episodes, I’d have to say that Season Four is giving them all a run for their money in being my favorite.”

The true level of obsession is brought to light when the questioning individual looks at you with a puzzled expression and replies, “I was thinking more of the calendar seasons. You know … spring, summer, winter, and fall?”

Oh.

Ooops.

Of course, this is strictly a hypothetical conversation.

You know that … right?

It is definitely not a conversation that might have taken place a few days ago with a friend I had not seen for a while, as we were chatting after running into each other at a social engagement. Nope, definitely not. (Please don’t stand so close. I understand that a lightning strike can be fairly intense.)

Actually, I am one of those individuals who enjoys all four of the different seasons throughout the course of a year. Each one contains a beauty and a reason to be appreciated.

So, I reconsidered the hypothetical question and decided to rephrase my hypothetical response with my own little "Ode To The Seasons", so to speak.

Here goes:

I love the winter season!

The nights are long and dark, with cold winds blowing as I enjoy the warmth of a fireplace, the soft light of flickering candles, and the comfort of flannel jammies and wooly sweaters.

The leafless trees stand as twisting, shadowy shapes against the cloudy gray skies, sparking my imagination with haunting images.

The occasional snow falls softly, blanketing the landscape, blinding my eyes with glistening sparkles as the sun shines on it from a distance.

The sounds of the holidays spent joyously with family and friends, cause me to pause and give thanks for the blessing that I have received throughout the year.

The weeks pass by with a mingling of heartrending angst and breathtaking anticipation, as I endure and enjoy the winter season which brings dreaded weeks of hiatus, briefly broken by individual episodes designed to capture my attention and remind me that while I might have thought I knew what direction The Kripke was pointing me in, anything is possible and nothing is as it seems in the journey of the Winchesters.

I love the spring season!

The lengthening days filled with blustery winds as I enjoy opening the house, blowing out the stale air and replacing it with freshness throughout each room.
The slender leaves and buds on the ground and in the tree begin to grow, as I renew my love of gentle blossoms and soft leaves, their pastels blending and blurring like an impressionistic painting.

The rain that is alternately fierce and gentle, always followed by the sparkle crystal colors arching, alternately beats upon my roof and mists upon my face, but always ends up refreshing my soul with promises of renewal and growth and fantasy.

The sounds of children laughing and playing outside become the rhythm and musical background, serenading my lengthening evenings and weekends.

The weeks pass by with joy and hopefulness as each one brings a new episode continuing the saga of weaving the threads of storylines ever tighter, raising expectations and fears as the finale draws closer until it is released, leaving me to gasp in a mixture of delight and horror at the Winchester Boy’s situation and the knowledge that it will be months before the solution will even begin to commence.

I love the summer season!

The days are long and filled with blue skies and hot sun as my girlies revel in their freedom from the classroom and open themselves to the possibilities of learning from alternate and less traditional forms of teaching.

The bushes and grass deepen to a lush green and we begin our annual cycle of competition on how tall they can grow before I am able to trim and mow, taming them into submission for (hopefully) the coming week.

The heat and humidity continues to rise, causing me to pause and give continuing thanks for ceiling fans, light cotton tops, lemonade, barbeque grills, and icemakers as I attempt to remain cool as I go through the business of my daily routines.

The sounds of glittering fireworks bursting, hot classic music driving, laughing screams of children splashing in pools and sprinklers fill the air and bring a smile to my heart.

The weeks pass by both swiftly and slowly as free time is increasingly filled with diversions, tactics designed to distract and keep active a mind ever attempting to speculate on the plight of the Winchester Boys, knowing with dreaded expectancy that whatever ideas I could formulate will not come remotely close to the weaving of threads both old and new as The Kripke and his company begin writing and filming.

I love the fall season!

The autumn nights that begin to lengthen and the crisp feeling that is introduced into the air as I take pleasure in returning to routines of work and school, throwing a precautionary jacket in the car as I shuttle from activity to activity.

The bushes and trees turn shades of muted hues golden and bronze, of vivid shades crimson and scarlet, as I find my wardrobe turning from whites and pastels to the bolder jewels of greens and reds and blacks.

The shifting of lazy southern breezes to brisk northern winds begin to penetrate, bring frost to the harvest of corn and apples and pumpkins and the scent of soups and chili cooking in the crock pot and pies baking in the oven.

The sounds of music pervade the air as marching bands take the field, filling the stadium with the distinct cacophony of brass and woodwind instruments stepping in time to the beat of the drums, or, as choir members take their places on tiers of risers, filling the auditorium with a blending of voices high and low in a harmony seamless, as both band and choir fill my heart with pride for my girlies as they participate in the creation of the unique sounds that pervade my ears.

The weeks pass by as each Thursday becomes a beacon, lighting the way to another new episode, as each episode further entangles both my heart and my mind in the deftly woven storyline that intrigues and delights my imagination with a family saga of warmth, of love, of fierce desperation, and hope filled terror set in a back drop of suspense and horror brought to life by the talents of all involved – creator, writers, directors, producers, actors, and the multitude of crew members – creating a television program that is unlike any I have ever had the pleasure of viewing and making each season of the year something to which I look forward to with anticipation.

So, there you have it ... my "Ode to the Seasons". I suppose I should have added the disclaimer tag ... "Supernatural Style". That's what a good obsessive would have done, don't you think?

Supernatural: Raised From Perdition with a Purpose - Part 2

Mon, 29 Sep 2008 15:11:20 GMT

For those of you who are still with me ...

He looks good. Freshly showered … healthy … shock sliding into his eyes as he sees who is at the door, the quick swallow, his eyes shifting to take in Bobby’s presence but then sliding quickly back to Dean’s face.

“Hey ya, Sammy”

Remember that moment in IMTOD when Sam first enters Dean’s hospital room and Dean breathes his joy and relief at seeing his little brother alive into that one word … “Sammy”? Yeah. My breath caught this time too.

With a face that seems to crumple into that of a young boy at first – deep swallows and chest heaving. We watche the emotions as they war across his face making it look so young and yet so old at the same time. Sam wanting desperately to believe and yet knowing what is really in front of his eyes can’t possibly be real … Sam takes it all in and then, as Dean steps into the room, he reacts – much as Bobby did – attacking. The difference is, instead of a silver knife, Sam is wielding the demon killing ginsue knife and it is everything Bobby has in him to hold him back as he speaks quickly …

“It’s him … it’s him, Sam, I’ve been through this already … it’s really him.”

Sam begins to calm and again we see the conflict warring in his eyes … in his face …

“But …”

Dean steps into the gap between them and does the only thing that could make the surreal moment real for his little brother … he cracks a joke …

“I know, I look fantastic, huh?”

… and with that, Sam seems to melt as he steps fast, reaching for Dean, reaching for his brother – the brother he had watched die. The brother he hadn’t been able to save. Their embrace is tight – a reaffirmation for both of them that the moment is real, drawing comfort and strength from the moment.

I’m sure much has been made of “the hug”. I’m simply going to say here that Sammy wasn’t the only one sniffling at this moment.

The boys are back …

“So … are you two, like, together?”

Huh? Oh, yeah … the chick in the underwear. Back to the layers that become lies as the game is played. The question would be natural for a casual onlooker and Sam, reacts with a questioning glance that at first watch could be taken as a realization that she was still there but upon second watch becomes a quick cover up.

“What? No. No, he’s my brother.”

A seemingly innocuous answer when we first see it, his reaction and statement later can be viewed as a coverup. Can’t say I’m very happy with Sam’s choice of … um … well, let me just call her a “romping partner” and leave it at that. And if I don’t like it, you can bet every single dollar that Dean wouldn’t have liked it … and still won’t.

However, she is out the door for now and we are on to more serious discussions.

“So, tell me, what’d it cost?”

Sam is as oblivious now as he was when Dean and Bobby first arrived …

Dean: “Like you didn’t do this?”
Sam: “Do what?”

… only this time he thinks that Dean’s referring to the girl.

His reply of “I don’t pay, Dean” hit me in a couple different ways. At first watch, my instant thought was of the scene in the motel in Maleous Maleficarum when Sam confessed to Dean that in order for him to make it after Dean was gone Sam had to become more like him. I knew in my heart that Sam is a … um … well, let’s just say strapping young man and leave it at that … okay? Plus, let’s face it … his role model drove to Cicero, IN just because of the memory of a highly aerobic weekend … however this is SAM. Jessica’s sweet Sam who looked at her with eyes so full … “what would I ever do without you?” This is SAM … the one tentative with Laurie in Hookman and who really didn’t begin to feel ready to initiate anything until Madison in Heart. Oy! Still … grown man … on his own … it happens.

Then … watching the second time … knowing exactly WHO SHE IS!!!! … Oh. Dear. There’s going to be some interesting repercussions on this one.

And don’t tell me he’s not paying. He’s paying alright, just not with money.

However the point of Dean’s questioning, this time, isn’t the girl. He want’s to know how his brother got him back.

Sam: “You think I made a deal?”
Bobby: “That’s exactly what we think.”
Sam: “Well I didn’t.”

Now, for me, there was no question in my mind that Sam was not responsible for bringing Dean back. Sam’s face, his reaction when he saw Dean the first time, were all that I needed but evidently big brother needed a bit more convincing.

“Don’t lie to me.”

Oh, Dean. You may be picking up on a “little brother’s lying to me” vibe but it isn’t about this.

“Look, Dean, I wish I HAD done it. All right?”

Listen to him … hear him … watch his face … look at his eyes … on this one, he’s telling the truth.

“I tried everything. That's the truth! I tried opening the Devil's Gate. Hell, I TRIED to bargain Dean … but no demon would deal, all right? <pause> You were rotting in hell, for months … for months … and I couldn't stop it.”

As much as he wanted to, as much as he tried, Sam wasn’t able to bring you back and it was breaking his heart to know where you were and he couldn’t do a darn thing about it.

“So I'm sorry it wasn't me, all right?”

Dean’s soul may have been being tortured in hell, but Sam’s soul was being tortured in a different way, knowing that all his promises during Dean’s last year were for naught. He hadn’t saved his brother and it ate at him.

“Dean, I'm sorry.”

A little brother’s sorrow is something that Dean finally believes.

Now we come to the heart of the matter …

Bobby: “Don’t get me wrong. I am gladdened to know that Sam’s soul remains intact, but that does raise a sticky question.”

With Sammy’s eyes on him, watching … Dean raises the question that they (and we) all want to know …

“If he didn’t pull me out, then what did?”

Brainstorming with beer … somethings never change and when it comes to the Winchester boys and Bobby … well, this was just one of those quick moments that makes it all so real. Catching up on why Sam had come to town – he’s been looking for Lilith and hunting down demons – was the main focus.

“All by yourself? Who do you think you are, your old man?”

*Keeper tucks chin, hiding her gleeful grin at mention of beloved BDW – gone but still very much present*

I loved Bobby for this line. So many times, especially over the last couple years, we have come to realize how much Sam is like John. His father’s defining traits of meticulous research and single-minded purpose have come to also define Sam. Of course, we know that Sam wasn’t alone – not just because Dean finds the skanky ho … er … um … Kristy’s bra in the bed, but also by what we learn later about … um … *clears throat* … her.

There’s also the fact that this adds to the layer of things Sam is hiding. The fact that he avoided Bobby, not just because he’s his father’s son, but also because Bobby is able to pick up on who is and is not a demon and he couldn’t risk having him around Kristy, or Ruby or whatever her name is … I say we just go with SKDG – Skanky Ho Demon Girl. Does this work for anyone else?

Brainstorming and checking Dean’s feelings (hunger vs demonic) aside, Bobby knows a psychic and they agree to give her a shot to figure out who did the deed.

While Bobby makes the call, the boys take a moment and Sam returns his brother’s necklace. This really did bring me to a sniffle … and not only because of remembering that beautiful moment of flashback in A Very Supernatural Christmas. For those of you who have missed it … our beloved Professor wrote one of the best fics I believe I’ve had the pleasure of reading this summer as a response to a Sweet Charity Auction. The reason I mention it now is because it is perhaps the best sequeways from Season Three to Season Four you could imagine. In the story, she has Sam taking the amulet, which was as much a part of Dean as his car. You can check it out here.

The moment of returning the necklace is so nicely done … nothing truly dramatic, just a moment between the two brothers. Followed by Sam’s questioning Dean on what hell was like, his face reminded me so much of young Sam’s face in AVSC. He wanted to know, needed to know what his brother had gone through. Unfortunately, or fortunately – depending on how you look at it – Dean doesn’t remember anything.

Yet the power of suggestion is strong and, taking a moment in the bathroom, Dean does some inner soul searching and has a flash of terror. No details, but enough to know that it wasn’t all candy canes and lollypops.

Now comes the ONLY thing in this entire episode that I didn’t like. It’s small and insignificant. It’s nitpicky. I know. I can’t help it.

Sam tosses the keys to the Impala to Dean.

“I assume you’ll wanna drive?”

Dean responds … “Oh … ohoh. I almost forgot.”

I ALMOST FORGOT???? Seriously? Are they kidding me? His girl? His Baby? His sweet ride? He almost forgot??

Huh-uh! I’m not buying that. Now, I realize that I could be extremely sensitive towards the Impala after having spent the last 41 days with seeing her through Mary’s drabbles as she did the countdown to the premiere, but still! You cannot tell me, when some of his last words to his brother were “take care of my ride” that he would have almost forgot. You cannot tell me that when he was hotwiring that car in front of that station in the middle of nowhere that he wasn’t wondering where Sam AND HIS GIRL were at that moment. NO. I simply refuse to believe that Dean Winchester would have ALMOST (can you HEAR the derrision in my voice??) have forgotten the Impala. Dean Winchester’s response to his brother asking him if he’d want to drive would have been “HELL yeah!”

Sorry … nope. I adore The Kripke – ya’ll know that, but he screwed up on that one. Big time.

Of course, Jensen made up for it with the complete and utter look of delight and adoration on his face as he skimmed her side and got in.

“Hello Sweetheart. You miss me?”

Much better. My diatribe is over. Now it’s Dean’s turn.

“What the hell is that?”
“That’s an iPod jack.”
“You were supposed to take care of her, not douche her up.”

Sammy … Sammy … Sammy. You couldn’t have known this would not go over well? You couldn’t have snuck down while Dean was in the bathroom and remove the offending object? *shakes head*

Pause a moment … want to hear something funny? I just downloaded Visions, as well as a couple other songs, to my computer the weekend before and then made a mixed CD for my own Baby of Steve Carlson, Jason Manns and the J&J song. I had literally been listening to Visions just that morning! Yet when Dean started the car, and the music started playing, I’m sitting there trying desperately to figure out the song. Doh!

“Really?”

Dean pulls out jack and tosses it into back. Classic! Jensen dissed Jason. Well, really it was Dean dissing Jason, but still … classic moment!

Oh dear. Look at the pages. Printers are starting to gasp. Let’s move on, shall we?

Has it been mentioned how this episode seems to have a little bit of everything we love in it? Conversation by Impala dashlight between the Winchester boys is always a highlight. I like the way Bobby is included in the travels, but he takes his car – giving the boys ample time to fall back together … to have those moments that we enjoy viewing … even ones such as this where the feeling is unsettled for several reasons.

Still catching up on events that happened after the Hellhounds attacked him, Sam fills Dean in on the fact that Lilith tried to kill him and couldn’t, that he seemed to be immune to her attacks which had her skedaddling pretty quick. This led to Dean questioning Ruby’s whereabouts and Sam telling him she was either “dead or in hell”, which led to …

Dean: “So. You been using your … uh … freaky ESP stuff?”
Sam: “No.”
Dean: “You sure about that? … I mean, now that you’ve got immunity – whatever the hell that is – I’m just wondering what other kind of weirdo crap you’ve got going on.”
Sam: “Nothing, Dean. Look … you didn’t want me to go down that road, so I didn’t go down that road. It was practically your dying wish.”

Layers and lies. *sighs*

On the one level I was simply enjoying the fact that the boys were having a conversation … that Sam was letting Dean know what had gone on after his death. Was I a bit bugged by the fact that he wasn’t forthcoming with the information, that Dean had to question it? Eh … a little, but then it seems that things generally need to be pried out of Sam. Did I think that perhaps Dean was a bit harsh in his questioning of the immunity … of Sam’s powers? Not really. Dean tends to get a bit harsher, a bit more sarcastic when he’s more fearful for Sammy. Tell me your first thought when Sam said “immune” wasn’t back to Croatoan and his immunity to the demon virus? I’m sure that it was for Dean. Demon immunity and ESP powers tend to freak out Dean when it comes to his little brother.

The questions, the answers, the responses, even the silences in this conversation simply added layers to their relationship. Time has passed for Sam, yet it hasn’t for Dean – not really. There’s got to be tension. At that point I was just thinking that was the only problem … that they needed some time to get back in synch with each other.

Of course the other level is the fact that we find out later that Sammy lied his way through that conversation.

Oh. Yes. THAT just fills my heart with bliss.

Not.

Still … the journey takes us to Pamela Barnes, psychic, and I gotta say … I really love this chick! I hope they figure out a way to bring her back. I loved Missouri and would love for her to come back, but Pamela? I wouldn’t just love more of her – I’d adore it. (Though, please please please. If someone knows something about her return, don’t tell me, don’t spoil me. Thank you!)

The minute she opened the door, laughed and grabbed Bobby, I knew this was a character I would enjoy. Full of life and freshness, attitude and female sexuality … she is everything that Supernatural fans could enjoy in a female character on this show. At least that’s my opinion.

“Dean Winchester. Out of the fire and back into the frying pan, huh? That makes you a rare individual.”

Yeah. I like her!

Pam has “ouija-ed” her way through the spirits and doesn’t have any info on who brought our boy back, so she proposes as séance in order to get a look at the face of the one that did the deed. It’s while she prepares that the boys have a true moment that made me laugh out loud. When Dean notices Pamela’s … ahem … tattoo … elbowing his little brother (who was busy studying the symbols on the cloth that Pam had spread on the table) so that they both can appreciate the view, it reminded me of that waitress in Dead in the Water that made Dean’s grin light up with lascivious thoughts. Unfortunately it was too soon after Jessica and Sam’s hormones had not caught up to Dean’s at that point. Now, while perhaps not as much as Dean, Sam seems to appreciate the view.

Pamela’s declaration that Jessie’s loss could be Dean’s gain was just what he needed to hear.

Dean: “Dude, I am soo in.”
Sam: “Yeah. She’s gonna eat you alive.”
Dean: “Hey, I just got out of jail. Bring it!”
Pamela: <walking past> “You’re invited too, grumpy.”
Dean: <getting in Sam’s face, while Sam laughs> “YOU are NOT invited.”

The moment was quick and easy and so reminiscent of the Dean that we remember from those early days before the weight of John’s secret or the fear of hell weighed on his shoulders and mind. The fact that Sammy joined in and it was a relaxed brotherly moment – not big brother, not little brother – just equal, red blooded young men teasing back and forth, made the moment all the more sweet and hysterical to watch.

Between that moment and the one when Pamela directs them to hold hands and then reaches to touch something that the “mystery monster” by going under the table, we received a much needed smile before things took a turn for the horrific.

Was it when Dean cast a telling glance at Sam before removing his outer shirt from his arm and rolling up his t-shirt sleeve to reveal the raised hand-shaped burn scar or was its Sam’s look of surprise at the sight of it that was your first clue that Sam wasn’t the only one who hadn’t shared everything? Sam’s look over at Bobby and Bobby’s returned look of acknowledgement said that he, in fact, had already seen it, surprising him even further and had him sharing a look with Dean that clearly read “why didn’t you show me?” It was interesting that Dean had shared it so readily with Bobby and yet had not yet showed the scar to Sam.

“I invoke, conjure and command you, appear unto me before this circle.”

With this chant, Pamela begins to seek out the face of the being she learns is named Castiel and while I enjoyed the eye peeking that first came from Dean and then was followed by his brother, what truly caught me was the forceful nature that seemed to come over Pamela. Gone was the playful, frisky psychic. Replacing her was the one that we could believe would truly wrest information from something supernatural.

“I invoke, conjure and command you, show me your face!”

The chant changes as she learns the being’s name, as the breeze picks up and the television flicks onto static, and the table begins to shake. Told to turn back, she tells Castiel that she doesn’t frighten that easy and continues her chant. Bobby is uneasy and questions continuing and she declares she’s almost got it.

In a flashing flare of fire from the candles, we see the fire ignite in her terror filled eyes as she screams before fainting. She may have seen the being’s face, but the visage of it has taken her sight from her.

That’s not good.

Although … the special effects here WERE really good. They’re really spectacular if you check it out in the frame by frame pictures. Kripke’s team are masters at what they do … flames shooting upwards … white light shooting from Pamela’s eyes … awesome … ahem … in that, oh-my-goodness kind of way, of course!

Next up … another Winchester moment that we all enjoy … the meal at the small streetside diner … bringing back memories of diners and cafes scattered all through the three previous seasons. If they don’t have conversations in the car, it’s in the diner or over coffee outside. Walk and talks are great, and perhaps easier/faster to film, but I like these sit down conversations too.

This one comes complete with a demonic waitress serving pie and angling for a tip.

“Dean … to hell and back. Aren’t you a lucky duck?”

“So, you get to just stroll right out of the pit, huh? What makes you so special?”

Makes you wonder about who publishes that demon newsletter, doesn’t it? Whoever it is *coughRubycough* sure got the word out fast, didn’t they?

The thing is … for all her tough talk and threatening attitude … that’s all she had – just talk and ‘tude. Something that Dean immediately recognized. The demons – atleast these lower level ones – don’t know WHO brought Dean back and it scares them in more ways than one. We know from DFKM, as well as Casey that Hell is a pit of despair and pain and even demons don’t want to be there. The fact that someone broke the deal of having Dean’s soul in hell and brought him back to earth puts a definite fear in these demons. The fact that they don’t know who it was, and therefore don’t want to touch Dean for fear of getting on the wrong side of something so powerful, terrifies them. This demon may talk big and bad, but when she doesn’t do anything … when the other two don’t react at all … when Dean full-on punches her not once but twice was a very telling moment.

Now we get the walk and talk! They packed everything into this episode!!

Problem is … this walk and talk simply provides the basis to show that the two brothers are thinking two different directions. Dean is steadfast on dealing with the one job they’ve already got, while Sam wants to go back and take care of the demons they just found. Thing is … I can see Dean’s point of view – they do indeed have a big “mofo” to find and take care of, however Sam also has a point – these are demons and demons are never a good thing to leave lying around, even when they’re scared. Maybe especially when they’re scared.

Dean’s asleep.

Sam’s sneaking out.

This is not good.

He’s sneaking off in the Impala.

This is REALLY not good.

Don’t these boys learn? When Sammy sneaks off and the two of them are separated, bad things happen. Honestly, boys! Pay attention! Learn from these things!

Unfortunately … it is by them splitting up that WE actually learn some things. Some we really wanted to know, some we needed to know, and some that just flat make us (okay … me) clearly unhappy.

First we have to wake Dean up before we get anywhere. In order to accomplish this, we call upon Castiel, who seems to not understand the difference between inside, outside, and dimensional voices. Waking Dean with static televisions and radios is one thing. Waking him to ear and glass shattering panic and pain is another.

Through this we find out two things – 1) Sam’s bed is empty. Okay. WE already knew that. But Dean didn’t and he needed to and now he does. And 2) … Dean may keep a knife under his pillow, but he also keeps his shotgun propped beside his bed. That was a fangirl delightful moment to have him roll across the bed, grab the gun, stand and point all in one motion. I just have to question how many practice tries did it take Jensen to accomplish the manuever and will we get to see the goofs on the gag reel?

Okay … back to serious …

Riding with Bobby, Dean calls to check on Sam and actually buys the fact that he is out getting a burger. Granted, it was a typical moment for him to chastize Sam for taking the car, but it was also understandable since Sam has been using the Impala all by himself for the last few months. Both boys are hiding something and so, what seem to be implausible explanations are accepted.

Sam out to get a burger.

Dean and Bobby head out to get a beer.

Typically they woulda/shoulda figured on hooking up together. The fact that they didn’t … and neither called the other out on it … spoke volumes about them doing things behind each other’s backs. Of course, there’s a bit of a difference. Dean thinks he’s simply protecting Sam by not having him with them as they summon the thing that brought Dean back. Sam, on the other hand …

We watch Sam enter the demon diner, obviously intent on confronting the demons. Here’s the question … how many caught onto the fact at first viewing that Sam was doing this without the demon killing ginsue because Dean had just pulled it out and showed it to Bobby? If he’s planning on taking out some demons, shouldn’t he have taken the knife with him? Although … when you stop and think about it … if he had taken the knife, Dean would have recognized the fact that Sammy was lying about the burger.

This is getting too tangled.

Bobby … now he’s straightforward in his opinions …

Bobby: “This is a bad idea.”
Dean: “Yeah, I couldn’t agree more, but what other choice do we have?”
Bobby: “We could choose life.”

Yet Dean’s not one to let something like this go … something brought him back, something had a purpose for bringing him back. He’s not going to be able to do anything else until he finds out the who and the why.

Meanwhile, Sam finds demons with eyes burned out, much like Pamela’s. The tip angling waitress demon fights, even while blinded and then provides some information that should have been one of our biggest clues …

Sam: “It was here. You saw it.”
Waitress: “I saw it.”
Sam: “What was it?”
Waitress: “It’s the end. We’re dead. We’re all dead.”

What would scare a demon like that?

What would have a visage that would burn a demon’s eyes out?

What would bring about the death of demons?

Yeah. Big clue in small, easily overlooked statement. We’re all thinking evil, thinking monsters, thinking hell …. we were wrong.

However, so were the Winchester boys.

Then comes the layer that ties it up and deepens every nuance of every facial expression, every verbal statement that Sam has made since Dean has returned …

Raising his hand and closing his eyes, Sam sends the demon inside the waitress back to hell. No ginsue knife, no exorcism, no Colt … just a bit of intense concentration and focus.

Sam lied. As I thought when I discussed NRFTW, when Sam repelled Lilith, he wasn’t just immune. He “flipped that little switch” and now …

“Getting pretty slick there Sam … better all the time.”
“What the hell is going on around here, Ruby?”

Sam lied again. Ruby is not in hell. Ruby isn’t dead. Ruby isn’t gone. Ruby is right here in the flesh of another individual named Kristy and she’s been teaching him how to flip those switches, how to channel his freaky ESP powers.

AND AS EVIDENCED BY THE BRA SHE LEFT BEHIND HE’S BEEN DOING SOMETHING ELSE WITH HER THAT HAS MADE ME NOT HAPPY WITH HIM!!

Sam! Honestly! Do the words “Get thee behind me Satan” have absolutely no meaning? She’s a demon Sam!

Dean’s death was horrific and your inability to strike a deal and bring him back was heartbreaking. I know that you didn’t want to become the lonely, singleminded hunter from Mystery Spot, but there were so many other ways you could have handled your grief.

Let’s take a moment, shall we, Sammy? Do you remember Dean saying this …

“What you’re doing isn’t gonna save me. It’s only gonna kill you.”

This was not the answer, dude! Before he died, your brother told you to do four things:

1) Keep fighting. Okay … you did that. Not the best method, but you did keep fighting.
2) Take care of his wheels. Umm … I think we’ll leave the iPod debate for another time.
3) Remember what Dad taught you, and
4) Remember what I taught you.

Somehow I’m thinking that neither John, nor Dean taught you to align yourself with a demon and to test out powers that, no matter how hard you try to justify it, are not for good. Particularly when you lie about them to your brother. You’re hiding them. You know that he’s not going to be happy.

What you’re not recognizing is that behind the being pissed, Dean is going to be freaking scared FOR YOU!!

First season, first episode, first few moments …

“Take your brother outside as fast as you can … Now, Dean! Go!”

Saving Sam has been an integral part of Dean’s being since he was four. He couldn’t live with the knowledge that Sam had died and so he sold his soul and brought him back to life. Saving Sam has been an integral key to the entire series and evidently, even though Dean has returned, it still is.

Granted, there’s a bigger picture and we don’t have all the threads in place yet to see it, but …

What if the battle for Sam’s soul isn’t over yet?

First step is to get rid of the SHDG (remember? Skanky Ho Demon Girl). Unfortunately, doesn’t look like that’s going to happen anytime soon, because Sammy doesn’t want her to leave. He may not completely trust her but he doesn’t want her to leave either.

“What I do know is I’m saving people and … stopping demons … and that feels good.”

“I wanna keep going.”

There’s a fine line and, Sammy, you are truly walking it here, dude. You’ve got me highly worried.

Meanwhile, Dean has convinced Bobby to summon who brought him back. They’re doing it in a barn that has enough protection graffiti painted all over, through, and around it to keep anything trapped and them safe.

Supposedly.

Afterall, Ruby just told Sam “human souls don’t just walk out of hell and back into their bodies easy. This guy bleeds, the ground quakes, it’s cosmic. No demon can swing that, not Lilith, not anybody.”

So they summon the being and they wait.

I thought this was interesting. Afterall, when John summoned the YED, when Dean and/or Sam summoned the CRD (all three times), and when Sam summoned Ruby – the demons all appeared within a few moments. Not the case this time. This time, Dean and Bobby had been waiting for the being long enough for them to each settle on a table, swinging legs and, in Bobby’s case, to take up whisling softly. Enough time had passed for Dean to question whether Bobby did the ritual right and earned himself a baleful look from the gruff, older hunter.

Have you ever heard the saying “God’s time, not ours?” I’m just saying.

Of course there’s also the saying about patience being a virtue and we KNOW that Dean doesn’t have THAT particular virtue either.

Eventually, however, the being arrives. The wind howls, the metal sheets of the roof begin to flap, the lights begin to pop and explode in showers of sparks, the beam across the door begins to give way to pressure and the doors open revealing an ordinary looking man in a trenchcoat entering the barn calmly.

Guns don’t work. The traps and talisman don’t stop him. The man simply continues to approach the two hunters.

“Who are you?”

“I am the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition.”

I love that line! I really do.

I am the one who gripped you tight …

I am the one that reached down into the bowels of damnation and took your soul firmly in my grasp …

… and raised you from perdition.

… directing it upward into the light.

The scream you heard when this line was delivered, so completely calm … intent … direct … was me … because THAT was the moment that all of the clues fell into place for this Supernatural Obsessive. Every clue that this episode offered all came together in my brain at that moment and it was amazing! I loved it!

Of course, Dean hasn’t quite gotten there yet and so he slams the demon killing ginsue into the chest of the being in front of him.

Of course a blade that demons fear doesn’t do bupkis to this particular being.

“We need to talk, Dean … alone.”

Bobby is out of commission. Not dead. Just knocked out without the bumping concussion to go with it.

“Who are you?”
“Castiel”
“Yeah, I figured that much. I mean, what are you?”
“I’m an angel of the Lord.”

Quiet and direct.

Dean’s disbelief turns to angry defiance.

“Get the hell outta here. There’s no such thing.”

Wary eyes, Dean holds himself ready, watching.

“This is your problem, Dean. You have no faith.”

Um … wait … Dean’s got faith … it’s just … like he told Sam in Faith …

“You know what I’ve got faith in? Reality. Knowing what’s really going on.”

Dean believes in evil because he’s seen it. His life has been immersed in it. It was all too real the night his mother was killed. From that moment on, Dean had witnessed evil of all types – from monsters to spirits to demons to humans taking and trapping innocents. He watched a human make a choice, watched him kill his little brother in cold blood with a stab of a knife in his back. He protected his little brother from it as best he could, giving Sam a semblance of normal, of protection, of innocence … giving Sam the opportunity to believe … but for Dean? Faith in something better, in something good … ?

Yet Castiel remains standing, facing Dean, as the lightning flashes and fills the barn, chasing the shadows and from behind him unfurls the shape, the shadow of the part of his true visage that people most readily attach to angels – his wings. Almost menacing in size and appearance, these are not light and fluffy, cloud sitting wings. These are the wings of an angel on a mission, sent with a message.

Still … Dean, being Dean …

“Some angel you are. You burned out some poor woman’s eyes.”

With some seeming remorse, Castiel looks down as he replies …

“I warned her not to spy on my true form. It can be … overwhelming to humans. So can my true voice, but you already knew that.”

Comprehension …

“You mean the gas station and the motel?”

At the nod …

“Buddy, next time lower the volume.”

Have you noticed that Dean is no longer trying to figure a way to destroy this being in front of him, that he’s not trying to get to any of the weapons? Have you noticed that he’s questioning, figuring, not believing but also not dismissing. He’s trying to figure the whole thing out and to do that – he keeps up the questions.

“And what visage are you in now, huh? What? Holy tax accountant?”

Ha! With the dark suit, white shirt, dark tie and trenchcoat, I would have gone for Holy Fed. But that’s just me.

Castiel is in a vessel of a devout man who actually prayed for this.

It was interesting to me because for some reason I looked up the meaning of vessel. It’s not like I didn’t already know the definition, but … *shrugs* … I don’t know, I just did. Anyhow … there is a meaning that I hadn’t really latched on to before …

“a person regarded as a holder or receiver of something, especially something nonmaterial”

That struck me.

From those in Phantom Traveler, to John, Sam, Ruby and so forth … we have become accustomed to demons possessing people … wearing their “meatsuits”. This is the understanding that the Winchesters have had. The experience of hunters. The humans are unwilling participants that are ridden hard and often don’t survive when the demon is expelled from them.

By using the term “vessel”, Castiel has implied something entirely different. The human tax accountant has received something nonmaterial – the presence of an angel – within himself and he is the holder of that presence.

The question was posed to me … what is the difference between a demon’s possession and Castiel’s “possession”? The human has now been shot, the demon ginsue plunged into his heart, when Castiel removes his presence, won’t the vessel die? My question posed back is this … “why should it have to die?” If Castiel has the power to grip Dean tight and raise him from perdition (yeah, that’s never gonna become old for me), then wouldn’t it also be possible for him to leave the vessel whole and intact?

Yes … I’m not unlike Dean in that I do have questions regarding Castiel and I am eager in my anticipation of those answers. Yet there’s something that compels me to believe.

Unfortunately, the same does not hold true for Dean Winchester.

“Look, pal. I’m not buying what you’re selling. So who are you? Really?”
“I told you.”
“Right. And why would an angel rescue me from hell?”

Hmm. There’s that pesky “I’m not worth it” belief that we have seen evidence of way too many times.

“Good things do happen, Dean.”
“Not in my experience.”

Resistance.

“What’s the matter? You don’t think you deserve to be saved.”

Interesting … statement, not question. Castiel is catching on. He was sent with the purpose of retrieving Dean’s soul, of bringing him back. He has some information but not all of it. He doesn’t know Dean, he can’t read minds, he doesn’t understand.

“Why’d you do it?”
“Because God commanded it.”

For Castiel it is cut and dried. There is no other response.

“Because we have work for you.”

What a wonderful way to end it!

“We have work to do.”

Both boys have made the statement … both now seem to be at opposite sides of the spectrum – Sam exploring abilities that come from a demonic source, Dean has been (I gotta say it … one more time) gripped tight and raised from perdition by a godly source.

Roy LeGrange saw it all those years ago, when the blind man looked into his heart and saw a young man with a purpose and he wasn’t finished.

Dean Winchester has a purpose.

*******************

I know this is incredibly long, but I simply have to quickly state that I love the addition of Misha Collins as Castiel. His scenes with Jensen were truly amazing. This is going to be an awesome year!

Supernatural: Raised from Perdition with a Purpose - Part 1

Mon, 29 Sep 2008 15:06:10 GMT

I know that this is rather late (it was supposed to be posted last Thursday), however I decided that I couldn't post my thoughts on Are You There God? It's Me, Dean Winchester without posting my thoughts for the season premiere. So, here's hoping that like a good book you like to re-read, or a good movie you like to re-watch, the Season Four Premiere episode - Lazarus Rising - is one you won't mind one more posting to read. Barring further real life inconveniences, my episode 2 ramble WILL be posted before episode 3 airs. I've got to get caught up!

Oh ... also ... just so you know ... I REALLY liked this episode and I REALLY got kinda lengthy. *shrugs* I know, you're really shocked. *grins* Anyhow, seems that while TVG has gotten used to me and have adjusted their word limits accordingly, LJ has not. So for LJ I must break this into two parts. Shocking, I know. :-)

I know that this is rather late (it was supposed to be posted last Thursday), however I decided that I couldn't post my thoughts on Are You There God? It's Me, Dean Winchester without posting my thoughts for the season premiere. So, here's hoping that like a good book you like to re-read, or a good movie you like to re-watch, the Season Four Premiere episode - Lazarus Rising - is one you won't mind one more posting to read. Barring further real life inconveniences, my episode 2 ramble WILL be posted before episode 3 airs. I've got to get caught up!

Oh ... also ... just so you know ... I REALLY liked this episode and I REALLY got kinda lengthy. *shrugs* I know, you're really shocked. *grins*

Thanks in advance for stopping by ...

********************************
*dances into the Ramble Room*

Ahhhh!

Greetings my dear friends, Inmates, blog buddies, lurkers and Supernatural Obsessives! Has the joy of talking about our show worn off, or could you stand to re-live it one more time before tonight’s new episode?

*grins*

It is soooo incredibly great to back to rambling about new episodes of Superntatural! I cannot even begin to express my gleefulness. However … before I get to the actual episode, I have to share something about my girlies. You know, the ones who tease me unmercifully, grumble and mumble whenever I put in an episode of Supernatural and yet when it’s playing, never waiver in the attention that they give it and are also the ones who end up giving me some interesting thoughts and insights? Yeah, those girlies and while you won’t get as huge an explosion of delight as I did, hopefully you WILL get a grin when I tell you what happened. I’m, in fact, STILL grinning over it.

Let me take you back a bit in time …

The time was early evening, Friday night, not even 24 hours after Lazarus Rising premiered. After a full day of real life work … okay, wait … let me start over …

After a full day of sitting at my desk in my office where normally I accomplish multiple tasks, thereby actually earning the paycheck that keeps a roof over my head and my addiction to internet supplied, I had managed to simply accomplish wearing an insanely happy smile, that seemed to come complete with a cheerful attitude that had now sparked the rumor that I have been abducted by aliens and replaced with a pod person, and gleefully playing with posting pictures from the previous night’s episode since I couldn’t string three words together coherently. When the appointed time came, I closed up the office and went to pick up my girlies.

The sun was shining brightly in a sky so blue that I swear it was celebrating right along with me. Baby had her sunroof open and the windows down and we were celebrating with a bit of Clapton on the stereo. It was a beautiful evening.

Now, my oldest girlie was not to be picked up. Being a senior in high school, she had other things going on in her busy schedule, however the twins … well, they came running out … smiles on faces, eager and anxious for our weekend. They jumped into the car, already chattering, and I began to adjust my hearing to carry on two different conversations. (It’s a skill that you tend to develop when you have twins that seem capable of only speaking at the exact same time.) That’s when I realized they were both essentially saying the same thing … something that I have waited through three seasons of laughter, teasing, eye-rolling, heavy sighs, overly dramatic negative exclamations to hear.

Five words that took the surge of happiness I had begun the previous evening to enjoy and set it afire with fireworks …

“Can we watch Supernatural tonight?”

They were excited, they were intrigued, they were WANTING TO WATCH MY SHOW!!!!

Like I was going to say “no”. Ha!

I don’t think so.

We got home, accomplished a few chores, put together our dinner and then watched the episode … a fourth time for me … the first time for them.

It was the perfect ending to a week filled with anticipation and pleasure, Supernatural style.

Now, a week later, the joy of having my most favorite show returned hasn’t really dimmed. I’ve managed to actually get some work done, but when I stop and think about it, that little smile just creeps right back onto my face.

From the ROAD SO FAR, to the new title card (more gleefulness on that in a minute) to the entirety of the episode, Lazarus Rising was quintessential Supernatural. It reached back and pulled together three seasons full of threads and began tying them off, yet at the same time it brought those same threads forward and adding another dimensional layer that will give an even fuller depth and deeper edge to the tapestry that The Kripke and his company began weaving September 13, 2005.

It really is true that the events of the past shape the future.

It is also true that Supernatural is a show that honors its past, even as it shapes a new future.

Roy LeGrange: “Oh, no, I didn’t pick you Dean, the Lord did.”

Dean: Can I ask you one last question?
Roy LeGrange: “Of course you can.”
Dean: “Why? Why me? Out of all the sick people, why save me?”
Roy LeGrange: “Well, like I said before, the Lord guides me. I looked into your heart, and you just stood out from all the rest.”
Dean: “What did you see in my heart?”
Roy LeGrange: “A young man with an important purpose. A job to do. And it isn’t finished.”

How little did we know back when Faith first aired where all this would lead.

God’s got work for Dean to do.

Okie Dokie then, folks, it seems as though this season is going to take it up a notch or two, don’t you think? Whew!

Alright … let’s see. I’m a bit rusty at this, but I’m thinking I should probably start back at the beginning, shouldn’t I? Before printers start panicking, I mean the beginning of this particular episode, not the actual beginning of the series … although I could … nope. Just kidding.

For now.

I’ll admit I’ve never actually been a great fan of AC/DC but this show just keeps giving me more reasons to rethink my position. From “Back in Black” to “Hell’s Bells”, each one has been oddly appropriate. Now this season’s opening adds yet another to my list as “You Shook Me All Night Long” set the back ground music.

First there is a red flash of THE ROAD SO FAR and then a red flash of NOW. In between the two comes a blend of scenes to remind and refresh the horrors that the boys faced last season, right up to and including Hellhounds ripping Dean to shreds, Sam’s surviving Lilith’s blast, Sammy weeping, cradling the head of the big brother he couldn’t save, and Dean’s tortured screams for someone to save him, calling out desperately for his little brother. Yes, because that image had not already been indelibly imprinted upon my brain four months and three days ago.

As if those final moments, as we heard Dean tortured screams, as we watched his face contort with agony and his eyes shift in fear weren’t enough … we’re immediately thrust back to hell with him as we watch visions … snatches … brief flashing glances shaded in bloody red … eyes that we know so well … constantly shifting … widening … pained … terrified … all set with a back drop of seeming echoes of screams fading in and out. Dean’s screams? Echoes of others?

Then nothing … just total blackness. Darkness broken only by the gasp of life that is reminiscent of Dean’s gasp back to conciousness, back to life, in IMTOD.

Darkness is broken by a flash of a lighter and realization of where he is dawns and the harsh breathing becomes rough, dry, gasping calls for help and then, before panic takes over, determination sets in and Dean makes his escape by literally digging, clawing his way to freedom … finding sunshine, a small handmade cross, and a surrounding forest laid waste.

Don’t you love the imagery of Supernatural? As the camera pulled upward and we watched as Dean’s shadow lengthen and became a shadow of a man in the shadow of the cross, we should have guessed right then that a demon did not bring Dean back, that a demon WOULD not bring Dean back. Yet, like Dean, we’ve gotten so used to the evil that it never occurred to us.

Okie dokie, pause here for a moment, please … I must be allowed a gleeful moment of title card happiness here. NEW TITLECARD!!! I love this show!! The sounds and flashes of clashing wings followed by the blood red Supernatural were simply awesome. Another wonderfully brief moment of imagery … just as last year’s inky smoke burst with a devil’s trap … this year we have the shadows of wings … question is … are they wings of carrion – scavengers of death – or are they wings of angels?

Have I mentioned before how much I love these title cards?? Hee Hee!

Planted in the middle of nowhere (they didn’t think to bury him with a cell phone?), Dean trudged down the dusty road towards an empty gas station and I will take a moment to pause and give the DeanGirls a moment to sigh and drool over the sight of his slight bowlegged walk towards the camera. I know who you are and I know that you did!

I loved these opening moments … the silence was so natural it was awesome. Dean doesn’t just talk to hear himself talk. After his initial call for help before he dug out of his grave, we have a solid five minutes (remember, this is a 42 minute episode and 1/8th of it was devoted to Dean’s silent journey of re-entering the world) in which Dean only says two words … a call of “hello?” upon reaching the empty station and then a questioning “September?” upon finding the newspaper which revealed how long he’d been gone. Otherwise all is silent. Not even any background music, which I think is awesome, just the regular noises of life … of Dean … back from the dead.

Then again, music or dialogue weren’t really needed. Jensen has always seemed to be able to convey Dean’s thoughts through facial expression and actions alone. This time is no different, especially as he finds a sink and splashes water on his face, almost as if he needs a “wake up”, something tangible and real to remind him that he is really awake, he truly is alive and not just dreaming. His confusion shows in his face as he hesitantly lifts his shirt, remembering the pain … the feeling of that same chest being shredded by Hellhounds … and finding his chest smooth and whole, not a scratch, not a scar, nothing except the “no demon possession allowed” tattoo that remains on the upper left side in a very nice moment of continuation from Jus In Bello – from BUaBS. However, it’s obvious that he does have something wrong as he turns and, wincing, pulls up his left sleeve to reveal a fresh burn scar in the shape of a handprint. Watching him staring at the scar and his reflection in the mirror, his face searching and puzzled, we begin to understand – Dean has no recollection whatsoever of what happened to him.

We saw the opening flashes of terror filled eyes. We caught the glimpse of enduring torture. However Dean woke to the dark and, in a sense is still there. He’s back. It is months later, he’s definitely not dreaming, and he’s got a fresh handprint scar burned onto his shoulder. That’s as much as he’s got. It’s time for him to get answers and that means moving on … it means finding Sammy.

But first … supplies …

Loading up his bag with candy bars and other goodies, as well as bottles of water and the grin inducing newest issue of Busty Asian Beauties, we silently get a brief glimpse of the Dean from the first season … the one who weighed honesty against fun and easy, with fun and easy usually winning … the one who doesn’t see anything wrong in opening a lonely cash register and relieving it of it’s coins and bills. That is, until a static filled television and radio began to take a life of their own. Then it’s back to something else he remembers all too well – the need for protection. Grabbing up a canister of salt, he began to lay lines but the sound became to intense, to painful to do anything but clutch at his head and try to protect his ears before the noise became so loud that windows began shattering and glass began flying.

Question … finding out what we did at the end of the episode about where the ear splitting, mind numbing noise came from that interrupted Dean’s little … um … shall we call it “borrowing without the intent to return”? Don’t you wonder what Castiel was trying to say to Dean in that voice that broke sound barriers? Perhaps something to the effect of “Thou shalt not steal”? Or at the very least “Dude! Leave an IOU!”? Just one of those little things that popped in my brain after watching it a couple times, especially after my one girlie who always seems to have a “tsk tsk Dean” whenever he goes outside the law, was fussing at him for stealing. (We won’t mention the fact that I’ve taught them how to talk to characters on the television screen now, will we?)

Seeming danger is present … the time for silence, for being alone is over. He needs to get back … back to security … get back to Sam.

Phone booth … line no longer in service … Sammy’s not available.

Nope. Nothing is ever easy in the Winchester world.

Next up – Bobby.

“Call here again and I’ll kill you.”

Oh. Kaaaaay. Evidently a phone call is not gonna work. How about hotwiring a car and booking it from Illinois to South Dakota? Yep. That’s a plan and that is the Dean we all know and love … hands under a dash, bringing an engine to life, tires spinning onto the road. May not have been the Impala, but at least it was a classic car.

Bobby.

“Surprise!”

Yeah. How about brain boggling, gasping shock?

Of course, that’s shock that passes quickly into action and Dean is forced to protect himself from this man he thinks of as a father …

“Whoa! …Whoa … whoa …wait! Your name is Robert Steven Singer, you became a hunter after your wife got possessed, and you're about the closest thing I have to a father...Bobby it's me.”

Couple things came to my mind, seemingly at the same time, with this moment – 1) *gleeful* Bobby Trivia! His middle name is Steven. Good to know!, and 2) Dean doesn’t appear to have lost any of his fighting edge, also good to know.

Bobby gives pause, however he’s still a hunter and knows the tricks of evil, and feigning acceptance, he approaches and places a hand hesitantly on Dean’s shoulder. Luckily for Dean, Bobby’s face gave him away before damage was done and Dean was able to wrest the knife away from him. Unfortunately, Bobby wasn’t going to be convinced by simple words and it became necessary for Dean to prove he was not a shape shifter or a revenant by drawing the silver knife across his left bicep. Ouch!

Shocked belief. If I had never loved Jim Beaver’s portrayal of Bobby Singer before, this would have been the moment to begin. My heart seemed to gasp along with him as he realized that this truly was the young man that he had grown to love as a son. Bobby didn’t just hug Dean, he clutched him to him in an embrace that seemed to be more like a desperate man clinging to a lifeline he had finally been able to locate and grasp. Flashes of moments between Bobby and Dean seemed to swirl in my head …

“I could throttle you!”
“If it weren’t for you, I’d still be lost in there … or dead.”
“Family don’t end with blood, boy!”

Bobby’s boy is back … but … just to make sure … splash of holy water, anyone?

I went from misted eyes to gleeful laughter so fast, I think I got whiplash. Which was better Dean’s spitting out of water thrown or Bobby’s sheepish shoulder shrug?

“I’m not a demon either, you know.”
“Sorry. Can’t be too careful.”

The boy is back.

Now then … where the heck is our other boy? I’m looking at the length of this and realizing that I have yet to see my favorite Sasquatch. Dean! Find your brother!

After confirming to Bobby that aside from remembering being “a Hellhound’s chew toy” before “light’s out”, Dean has no memory of what happened, he in turn checks on his little brother.

“Sam’s number’s not working … he’s … uh … he’s not …?”

Unfortunately, the news isn’t good. Sam’s alive – as far as Bobby knows – but in addition to getting a new cell phone number, he’s also gone off on his own … quiet and determined to get his brother back, as evidenced by the fact that he wouldn’t let Bobby do the salt and burn they normally would have done … luckily for Dean in this case. However, his going off the grid raises the alarm.

“Damn it, Sammy!”

“He got me home okay, but whatever he did … it is bad mojo.”

“You should have seen the grave site. It was like a nuke went off.”

There’s no doubt in Dean’s mind that Sam was the one that brought him back. Afterall, according to Dean’s mindset, who else, besides Bobby and it obviously wasn’t him, would have the desire, have a reason to bring Dean Winchester back from hell?

Then Dean freaks Bobby out completely by showing him his new hand-made scar. (Sorry, couldn’t resist. *grins*)

Bobby: “What in the hell?”
Dean: “Yeah. It’s like a demon just yanked me out, or rode me out …”
Bobby: “But why?”
Dean: “To hold up their end of the bargain.”
Bobby: “You think Sam made a deal?”
Dean: “It’s what I would have done.”

Oh. Dean.

Oh. Sam.

Where are you??

A cleaned up Dean is on the phone in Bobby’s kitchen. I loved the fact that in today’s world of wireless receivers, Bobby’s telephone was an old one with a cord.

Seems that Wedge Antilles had lost his phone and Dean needed the GPS turned on to track it.

“How’d you know he’d use that name?”

Bobby followed Dean back to his desk, and computer, after Dean completed his call. Was it just me, or did it seem to anyone else as though Bobby seemed to stick rather close to Dean after he returned? Kinda like he couldn’t let him out of his sight? Dean’s death had affected the older hunter in a way he hadn’t been, I’m betting, since his wife had died. Perhaps not even then.

“Are you kidding me? What don’t I know about that kid?”

Okay … whoa! Dean, honey, right now, that proclamation would be what we call a daytime dramatic statement. You know the ones … “I’m going to love you forever”, which is followed by a divorce or an affair within the next month or two … or how about … “It’s just a simple cough”, which is followed by a brain scan and tumor.

What don’t I know about that kid? Seriously. Shall we list the line up?

Do you know about your little brother being fed YED blood?
Do you know that your little brother found out that mom knew the YED?
Do you know that your little brother is boinking a demon? (Whoops. Might have gotten ahead of myself again there. Sorry!)

By the end of the episode this statement really takes a turn into a daytime dramatic statement.

However, for now, big brother does know enough to get the information to track down little brother. So he does know something.

“Hey, Bobby? What’s with the liquor store? … hmmm? … Your parent’s out of town or something?”

Dean’s straightforward question is answered just as directly.

“Like I said, the last few months ain’t been all that easy.”

Yeah. With honesty, and simple statement, Bobby reflects how hard it was on him having had Dean dead. There was a rawness, a sorrow not quite vanquished yet, about him as he confessed that made me feel that we’ve not gotten all of the story here. Dean’s friendship, his relationship with the gruff old hunter is simple and uncomplicated. There’s no actual chain of command, no drill sargeant involved. Although Dean tends to take the lead, he also defers to Bobby and the older hunter’s knowledge and expertise. There’s a give and take of respect that is unassuming and I love watching any scene involving it.

On one side of the desk, a solemn look of acknowledgement reflected understanding of the pain recognized in the face of the one on the opposite side of the desk.

Ahem. *clears throat* It’s those small moments that tend to grip me tightly.

Yeah.

Dean checks the GPS location and we have a winner. Sam is in Pontiac, Illinois – right where Dean had been buried … and resurrected.

“Hell of a coincidence, don’t you think?”

By this point, I desperately am in need of knowing what Sam is up to, however I’m also fearful of knowing at the same time. Still … my need for these brothers to reunite is getting too strong and is overriding any fear I might have. We’re 13 minutes into this episode, 8 minutes short of the halfway mark, and we’ve yet to see our favorite youngest Winchester.

It bothers me a bit that whatever Sam is doing, it seems to be behind the doors of a room with a heart on its door, especially when the door is opened by a girl in her skivvies. This is NOT a moment that reminds me of a shy Sam moving from chair to couch when Madison brought out lingerie to fold in Heart.

Yet, here IS where layers begin to truly form … the reason why you simply cannot watch an episode once. Through first watch, we don’t know … we don’t realize … the pause before demanding pizza, the telling glances, the quick explanations … the double meaning behind them.

We just see a girl in her undies demanding pizza.

And then we see Sam enter the room and all thought leaves.

The Treasures of Season Premieres

Mon, 22 Sep 2008 19:40:31 GMT

Please note: This little blog is not actually my ramble on Lazarus Rising. That is in the works and will be posted soon. This is something in response to a special request from a friend. I hope I've managed to do justice to her request.

Open Sesame!

A magical command learned by Ali Baba as he watched the forty thieves attain entry into their concealed cave containing a hidden treasure trove. Over the years we have come to associate the saying with achieving successful ventures, attaining a goal, or bringing about desires. It has taken on the connotation of a catch phrase for when our lives are enriched either monetarily or otherwise.

For the last three years, and then again Thursday night, we have watched Eric Kripke as he opened the individual Supernatural seasons with all the stealth of a thief and enriched our viewing pleasures with untold treasures.

Here’s my question … how many caves of treasure does that thief … er, um … The Kripke actually have? So far, I’ve seen four and I have to tell you, each one – each season premiere – has been as individual as their respective seasons and each one has contained hints of untold riches for the season it originates.

So it is that, before I set out on my rambling course of thoughts on Lazarus Rising, I wanted to take a moment and just take a quick (quit snickering … I can do “quick” if I try really hard) look at the treasures of the four season premieres.

Season One … “the Pilot”

Looking back, I believe the only true complaint I have about this episode is the name. Honestly, each episode of Supernatural is given a name that carries such meaning, a catch phrase to reference, yet here we have this wondrous beginning to such an innovative, thought provoking, horrifying and at the same time heartwarming television program and we can only refer to it as … “the Pilot”??? Could someone go back to the court of WB records and request a name change?

Then again, the word “pilot” carries some interesting meanings when you look at the first season of Supernatural.

A major meaning for the word pilot is “to guide”. A pilot is something or someone which shows the way. Hmm. Alright … I can get behind that because that is essentially what occurred with the pilot episode of Supernatural.

Within that first episode, so much occurred that repeated viewings over the years still renders me speechless in all that we were given, all the groundwork that was laid. Even now, ESPECIALLY now, after Lazarus Rising, this first season premiere, this series premiere stands as a foundation of richness.

There is the initial introduction to the Winchester family. A happy, loving family of husband, wife and two young boys, they are the epitome of what could be viewed as normal. They are the picture of security as the babe is tucked into his crib, as the small boy is held tight in his father’s embrace, as the exhausted mom of two small boys goes to bed while dad ends up falling asleep in his bathrobe in front of the television. A wholesome, normal family whose security is ripped apart with a violence that reaches deep into the small family’s heart, removing normal and replacing it with pain and fear and eventually the knowledge that there’s more in the darkness.

We are left only with the image of John Winchester huddled on his car with his children close, as their world burned in the background. There’s not enough time to show scenes of life after the horror struck. Instead, we are fast forwarded 22 years, but what remains so totally amazing about this episode is the fact that with well placed pictures, moments of exposition that are absorbed by the actions taking place, we are quickly brought up to date on the Winchester family – where they’ve been and where they are now.

We are guided … piloted … into the present, to the place where the true story of the first season begins. We know that John became a hunter of evil, searching for the thing that killed his wife and changed their lives. We know that Dean followed his father’s footsteps. We know that Sam did not. We know that the evil continues to plague their lives by the taking of Jessica in the same fashion as Mary was taken. Those were the big things this episode provided. How many small things also caught our attention, piloted us to understanding and guiding us into that first season?

The picture of John and Mary that Sam still had?
The fraud and impersonation that Dean pulled off with a quick grin, and seeming ease?
The walls of notes in John’s room?
The joy of a paperclip found?
The simple pleasure of “normal” in a chocolate chip cookie to be followed by the descending darkness as Sam laid back in his bed?

The entire episode is one that is lays the ground work for the first season and the complete series. Pieces of it continue to emerge throughout the years. This season premiere guided us.

I suppose calling it “the Pilot” is not such a bad title afterall.

(But could we change the numbering system to 1.01? Having Devil’s Trap be 1.21 messes with my sense of order. Not that I’m obsessive or anything.)

Season Two … In My Time of Dying

To call this an emotionally charged, powerhouse of an episode would be a complete and total understatement.

Then again, the same sentiment could aptly be applied to the whole of Season Two.

IMTOD was an incredibly pivotal episode with a unique position in the Supernatural series. It was the final chapter of the story that actually began with Season One, yet it was the opening chapter of the story that unfolded throughout Season Two.

As the final chapter for Season One, IMTOD wrapped up the events that occurred in Salvation and Devil’s Trap at the end of the previous year. Without this episode, the previous year remained incomplete.

As the opening chapter for Season Two, IMTOD set in motion the stage for the turmoil that would wage throughout the coming year. Without this episode, the following year would not be understandable.

IMTOD distinctly carried the burden of two seasons and did so brilliantly. It remains, to this day, one of my top five favorites. It was a Supernatural fan’s delight, a tour de force in every standard … except, perhaps, one.

Yep. I did say that.

Hear me out.

IMTOD had everything that a fan of Supernatural could hope to receive, most importantly, a resolution to an unimaginable previous season’s ending cliffhanger. The episode was dramatic and tight. The acting … well, the acting simply blew me away. Between Jensen, Jared, and Jeffrey … not to mention the moments with Jim Beaver, Fredric Lehne, and Lindsey McKeon … the range of emotions and the life that was instilled into each character were exceptionally achieved.

From Dean’s “awakening”, to Sam’s rush to his brother’s bedside, to the father & son fight ended with a shattering glass, all the way to a dropped cup of caffeine and two boys desperate silent pleas for their father not to die, IMTOD was an incredible episode.

However, I, and other countless fans, knew the Winchesters background. We understood the importance of “Dad’s journal”, we knew the family history that set the stage for Sam’s anger and argument with John, we knew the reason for Dean’s placating plea of “Sam” when his little brother set his jaw and questioned his father’s statement at the end, we remembered the pain in Dean’s voice from Salvation proclaiming "you're all I have" as he argued with Tessa that his family needed him. As awesome as the introduction set to Ted Nugent’s “Stranglehold” was … it could not convey all that we had learned about the Winchesters and what had brought them to this point.

It should also be noted that this was the year that the WB and UPN merged to create the fledgling CW network. A new network struggling to find an audience and a unique show now pitted against two powerhouse programs on Thursday night. Supernatural needed something to lure new viewers, to hook them. IMTOD was a brilliant payoff for existing fans, but as a lure to entice … it was good, but perhaps not the best of episodes to begin a season.

Still … all three Winchester men in one spot at one time? All three “J”s blowing each moment out of the angsty waters?

Yeah … IMTOD is one of the best episodes of the series in so many ways. What’s really fun is to hear a new fan’s praise of it after having discovered Supernatural and going back to watch it. It’s one that can be watched over and over and over and over and still there’s a desire to see it again.

How many episodes of CSI or Grey’s Anatomy can claim that?

Season Three … The Magnificent Seven

Oh the joy! The delight! Season Three was given a greenlight by the CW network. Fans everywhere rejoiced in the knowledge that we would be given the time for Sam to get Dean out of the crossroads deal to save Sam’s life, as well as possible answers to those pesky other questions such as what the YED showed to Sam, what about Hendrickson, are there other hunters who were going to come after our boys, and … oh, yeah, what about that legion of demons that were let loose?? Yikes!

Anticipation grew exceedingly, particularly as we had to wait an extended time to get that first episode. Instead of premiering in September, fans were forced to wait until October 4th to find out how the boys were adjusting to life after the YED’s death. It didn’t help that The Kripke, along with Sera, Ben and Jensen attended their first San Diego Comic Con and between the four of them, the fires of our expectations were fueled to greater heights.

Then came The Magnificient Seven.

In total the reviews were a mixed bag of thrilled to have the show back to … it was great … it was good … it was okay … I liked it … it wasn’t my favorite … I wish they’d done this … I didn’t care for this … I really like this … I didn’t like that …

Fans were all over the spectrum of reactions to this episode -

It was too bright! It seemed to be the gloom and shadows which had been such a part of the lighting of the show was gone – replaced by sunshine and brighter lighting even in the midst of darkness or fighting six demons at one time at the end.

Too much Isaac and Tamara. Fans love their Dean and Sam moments and many felt that the couple that hunted together got more time than they should have, taking away from the boys.

It was interesting to watch the reactions follow into the season, especially with the introduction of Ruby and, later Bella. Yet this particular blog is about the season premiere episodes and as a season premiere, I thought it was just fine.

The title … “The Magnificent Seven” … was taken from one of my favorite western/action movies and, while it was not an actual western and while referring more to the “seven deadly sins” than seven deadly cowboys, this episode was chock full of action. There was also enough information that a new person, having never seen an episode of Supernatural, would get lured and hooked and, hopefully, tune back in the following week.

That was the job The Magnificent Seven as a season premiere was supposed to do, entice new viewers. Unfortunately for some fans, it didn’t provide enough payoff. People expecting something more in the lines of IMTOD were frustrated.

Yet, this was a new season … a different season. Dean had a year to live and was feeling a freedom he hadn’t felt in a long time, if ever. Twelve months is a long time in the future and the gut clenching fear had not yet taken hold. He refused to give into the angst that is something akin to bread and water for some Supernatural fans.

Yet through the mixture of fan reactions, The Magnificent Seven set up the season as a good premiere does … setting the stage for Sam’s complete faith and hope that he would be able to find a way save his older brother, as well as opening the war with the unleashed demon population. It was tightly woven, picking up immediately from where the previous season left off. It opened with Sam's searching for solutions and ended with Sam's frustration at his brother unwilling to bend, to help him find a way out. It was a focus that, while Dean was seemingly at peace with his decision, Sam was already on the fringes of terrified of loosing his older brother.

Time was not going to be a friend to the boys, or in the end to the over all season since it was cut short.

Hmm. Maybe timing was the problem? Viewers had had almost five months to not only get used to the fact that Dean had sold his soul but also fret and stew and worry over it. Meanwhile, it was still fresh for Dean and Sam, since in their reality only four days had passed. We were ready for fear and angst. It's a thought. Perhaps ... as an episode geared to entice a new person, The Magnificent Seven was actually timed just right.

Season Four … Lazarus Rising

Lazarus Rising. Each day from May 16th to its premiere last Thursday, anticipation built. Before the premiere date was announced, before the title was assigned, before Jensen and Jared arrived to the set in Vancouver to begin filming, every person who had watched that season finale made plans to be in one spot, and one spot only, when the fourth season opening episode of Supernatural was broadcast, and that was in front of their television.

Visions of those final moments … Sam’s tear streaked face as he held is dead brother, followed by the jarring image of Dean chained in hell and pleadingly screaming for his brother … haunted any and everyone who watched.

The bar wasn’t just raised for The Kripke and his company to bring about an excellent season premiere … it was knocked out of the proverbial park.

Would Sam succumb to his “dark side” and retrieve his brother?
Would Dean return changed? Would he be darker, more demony? Would he be hurt?

There wasn’t a question of whether Dean would return … the question was when and how.

The incredible thing about Lazarus Rising was that it was the perfect blend of the Pilot, IMTOD, and The Magnificent Seven. The saying may be “third time’s charm”, but in the case of season premieres, fourth time is definitely the best!

For a newbie, viewing our show, our boys, for the very first time, there was enough action, enough humor, and just the right amount of information to lure and hook, to entice them to return next week. This is critically a good thing for our show and for the CW network, as well as our advertisers. (I would just like to point out that never before have I watched a television program counting advertisers and been excited to see so many national commercials and then finding out that the numbers that seem to please those advertisers were continuing to grow.)

For the established fans, the payoff was exceedingly awesome.

As did the Pilot, Lazarus Rising has laid the groundwork for the coming season in a remarkable way. By the end of the hour we had been guided … piloted … in a whole new direction. The excitement for the season and where it is potentially headed is incredibly fever pitched, if I were to guess by the number of blogs that I have seen flooding the blogosphere.

As did In My Time of Dying, Lazarus Rising holds that position of tying off the previous season’s cliffhanger and opening up a whole new season. Much like IMTOD, it was a fan’s delight. From the moment of Dean’s pre-awakening flashes to the ending moment with Dean’s face as he is told there is work for him to do, Lazarus Rising was an homage to the fans. Answers were given, new questions were formed. Threads wove throughout the episode tying to each and every season that we have been privileged to view so far (and yes, I’m having a delightful time with them, so take this as a warning for your printers). There was emotion … not just the tender “awwww” inspiring hug between the two brothers, but also the wonderful moment between Dean and Bobby – the total bonding of their hug, followed by the glorious splash of holy water – and other smaller moments between Dean and Sam, as well as Dean and Bobby that reaffirmed how important Dean was/is to their lives and how his absence affected them both. This season opener was a feast to delight the fans in every way.

Yet, as did The Magnificent Seven, Lazarus Rising did the job a season opener needs to do. It held just the right blend of action and information to once again entice the viewer tuning in for the first time. Watching a man rise up from the dead would definitely catch someone’s attention, and as the episode progressed, the blend of humor, information and The Kripke’s style of eye-popping gore (yes, I DID just say that) to tell them that this is a show worth taking another look, deserving more than just one chance viewing.

Lazarus Rising is the answer to the question, “What is fourth times charm?” It is an awesome blending of the previous three premiere styles. It is the magical doorway leading to The Kripke’s fourth cave of treasures.

I can’t imagine the riches that we are about to view, but like Ali Baba, I’ll be there to watch and see what our Supernatural thief has stockpiled this year.

Open Sesame!!!!

Supernatural: Before We Begin ... A Few Scraps of Thoughts

Thu, 18 Sep 2008 13:38:28 GMT

Before I begin ... I'd just like to state for those of you that thought you saw a blog posted yesterday that disappeared, you were not imagining things. Three, possibly four (I forget in my frustration), times I tried to post my response MeMe to Rap, Zofia, and Frenchie's tags. LJ hates me. That's the only response I can give you for why it wouldn't work. So, no, ladies, I'm not ignoring you. I will attempt posting again, but today I have other things on my mind.

After all ...

It's Thursday ... and therefore it MUST be Supernatural!!

Okay ... onward.

It’s been 4 months and 3 days since she let in the hell hounds to kill him, sending his soul … *shudders* …

I wonder how Sam is doing, because I have to tell you, I’m still pretty much a mess. Yet, here we are … after what seemed to be an eternity - we are in the final countdown and barring unforeseen network, weather, or RL crisis (there better be blood and bones poking out at wrong angles to distract me now), in less than 12 hours Supernatural’s Season Four will begin and … because I am totally spoiler free (seriously) … I have no idea how they begin to have answers to our questions of our boys fates.

In the meantime, however, I wanted to post something. It’s been so long since I aired out my little Ramble Room and I wanted to get it ready and … well, ramble for a bit. I had some difficulty this summer and the writing muse got a bit wonky on me. Actually didn’t get it straight until the Labor Day weekend when I finally sat down and, with my girlies, actually watched the season finale again. For them it was the first time, for me it was the second. Watching with them, reliving those moments that had so clearly haunted me all summer, talking with them and getting their perspectives seemed to once again clear my own and my writing mojo reasserted itself, both personally and with Supernatural. Whew!

So here I am … rambling. I hope that you will join me.

Consider it a pre-show type of party.

Just one thing before I really get going … this blog is totally spoiler free. Please. I have made it this far and I would really appreciate not getting any last minute surprises. I’m even kinda leery at this point of speculation, since alot of it could be based in spoilage. So, welcome, join the fun, get excited ... just please be cautious – those of you who have kept the door my little Sanitarium’s Room of Spoilage in the Popular spot several times this summer. *grins*

I was cleaning out/off my computer area last weekend in my neverending attempt at avoiding cleaning the rest of the house. Who needs a clean living room, bedroom, kitchen or bathroom (well, okay – I do need a clean kitchen or bathroom, otherwise “ewww!”) if their computer area is all nice and tidy? Since there seem to be days that go by where I spend more time at my computer then in my bedroom, it seems logical that that area be organized, clean and tidy.

It’s a whacked out thought process I have, I admit, but still … it’s mine, once again proving the necessity of having/running a sanitarium.

Aaaaanywho … as I was saying, I was cleaning up my little computer area and in my doing so I compiled quite a stack of scraps of paper. I do this. I have a thought, an idea, something I wish to remember and I will jot it down. Yellow stickys that wandered home with thoughts from while I was at the office, backs of grocery receipts and bank deposit or withdrawal slips with messages quickly jotted while at a stoplight or before I head into a store, construction paper with crayon markings if I happen to have one while working my nursery, and then there’s the pieces of paper from the notebook in my purse, the notepads I keep tucked around my house or … in one desperate moment there was a dry erase marker I used on my tile table. (Don’t ask … like Kleenix tissue during a particularly emotional Supernatural moment, the paper around my house tends to always be disappearing. I could blame the mouse that continues trying to keep his room despite the fact he doesn’t pay rent, or I could blame the two young (and newly teenage) artists who tend to write and draw and use any scrap of paper they can find to create something, but I believe I will simply leave well enough alone.)

Whoever thought I was kidding when I think of my writing as rambles … read back over that last thought.

AAAAANYHOW!! Let’s try this again … as I was cleaning up my little computer area I compiled a tidy stack of scraps of paper. Not all of them were thoughts of Supernatural, hard as that might be to conceive, but in the end … there seemed to be several that related to The Boys, The Show, etc. A couple have/will become the basis for a full-on blog, but then there are some of the others.

Now, I could have trashed them, however I figured there might be something in this tangled mess of thoughts that might give someone else a grin, give a pause for thought, or strike a chord of oh! or ummm?, or perhaps simply entertain – helping to while away the time until later tonight when order is restored to the universe and the new episode premieres.

So it is that I bring to you my list of thoughts, which really isn’t a list … more like a pile of scraps … in no certain order.

Scrap #1:

I’ve been watching the CW’s new commercials for the fall season. It once again has succeeded in making me shake my head at the CW’s lack of care for our boys. Yet, I believe I’ve hit upon a reason … evidently we DO need a sexy girl on the show … because evidently the shows they like to advertise include a lot of groping and kissing and well, that’s not going to happen between the two Winchester brothers (THANK GOODNESS! and EWWW!) I mean, look how long and what they had to go through in order just to get a sembalance of a hug? I’m thinking if we could just get one of the boys … they could alternate turns … to shed their shirt (yeah, I just lost some of you there, didn't I?) and kiss their waitress, female motel clerk, female cashier at the mini-mart, etc. passionately at the beginning of each episode, then we might get some decent advertising from the CW. It could be a recurring thread … a nightmare vision that Sam keeps waking with that takes the full season to solve. Of course, we’d probably see the demon behind these groping/kissing dreams at the end of the season looking frighteningly similar to a certain Ms. Ostroff, but that would be speculation and spoilers at this point in time and I didn’t want that in this blog … right?

Scrap #2:

I had a nightmare the one night this summer. Dean came back from hell a changed man. Gone were the flannel, denim, and boots. He started wearing button down shirts, khakis and loafers.

‘Nuff said on that one.

Scrap #3:

Last summer I wrote a blog about something that totally fascinated me, and still does – the episode introductions and the subsequent title card that flashes. (For those who might have missed it and would like an opportunity to see how far I can go on a slightly bizarre tangent, you can find that blog HERE.) Without going into great depth (I think last year’s was enough) I did have a couple of thoughts because, yes I did go back and review all of Season Three’s opening sequences –

1) Season Three’s introductions didn’t grab me as much as they did in the previous two seasons. They were a good start and I think they led into the episodes just right, but there was something jarring in Dean’s voice over in the beginning that I couldn’t get past.
2) The introduction to Episode 3.01, The Magnificent Seven, set to AC/DC’s “Hells Bells”, is the longest introduction of all three season’s episodes, coming in at 1 minute and 53 seconds.
3) A Very Supernatural Christmas is the only episode this year that did not have an introduction of any kind. Mystery Spot was also unique in that although there was a “THEN”, there was no Dean Voiceover prelude before it.

Finally, the title cards from all three seasons have totally captured my attention. In last year’s blog, I discussed the lightning strike of Season One and the burning fire of Season Two. I was full of anticipation that the Season Three title card be something different - even positing that it would be a rush of inky black smoke – who knew?! When the demon smoke burst through with the devil’s trap in the opening of M7, I actually lost track for a moment when I gleefully clapped my hands and laughed.

Once again startling me with the attention that is paid to each detail of this wonderful show, the title cards themselves evidently tell a bit of the story. From the flash of lightning, to the rush of burning fire, to the legion of demons loosed needing to be trapped, each title card seems to signify a theme for the season. So, of course, in addition to my anticipation on how The Kripke and his merry band of [strike]torturers[/strike] writers are going to handle the hell both Dean and Sam were left in at the end of Season Three, I am on pins and needles to know what the title card will be for Season Four and how it’s significance will be played out over the next 22 episodes.

Which leads me to …

Scrap #4:

I’ve been watching the Screen Actor’s Guild/AMPTP negotiations this summer. It’s not been pretty. It’s also not over. Hopefully both sides will take into account their actual customers – US, the television and movie viewers – before doing anything too drastic. I don’t want another short season.

Scrap #5:

I’ve been thinking about demons. There’s a reason for that that I’m not quite ready to discuss, but it has led me to thinking about Meg. Nikki Aycox was so wonderful as the wicked little demon and Jared simply shone as his portrayal of DFKM. Yet, at the heart of it was the demon. A demon that seriously hated Dean. It may not have liked Sam, but it REALLY seemed to hate Dean, even before he sent it to hell in Devil’s Trap. When you go back to Scarecrow and Shadow, it could be me, but it seems there’s truly a menace to it’s tone and expressions first in wanting to separate Sam from his brother in Scarecrow, and then to taunt and torture in Shadow.

Okay, so here’s my questions I had jotted on my little scrap of paper …

Was that hatred of Dean truly the motivation for the demon to escape hell? It seems so.

“All that I had to hold on to was that I would climb out one day, and that I was gonna torture you, nice and slow … like pulling the wings off an insect.”

And, if so, how did it get out? For that matter, how did the others get out before the the Devil’s Gate was opened? Remember? Bobby said “more and more demons are walking the earth”. How? How did they get out and is this a way that Dean can get out?

I realize that these are mostly rhetorical questions because we may or may not be given the answers over time from the one who has plotted this little time line, but it’s something that warranted a scrap and I felt the need to pass the question on to others. I’m generous that way.

Scrap #6:

The Kripke has said that he has a 5 year plan for the show. I sometimes wonder about that plan. I always seem to think of it as a series of five books – each episode a chapter in the overall story. (Don’t get me started about the shortness of book three!) This could be because I love reading series of books, whether they are long and involved or short bits of fluff. Each book of the series stands alone and yet when combined with the others tells so much more of the story.

Season One was Book One … the introduction. It introduced the main characters, and a few of the supporting characters, giving them life and purpose. Each episode or rather, each chapter, continued to build to that final moment setting up the story to lead us into craving the release of book two.

“This fight is just starting and we all are going to have a part to play.”

Was John’s statement in Shadow an allusion to The Kripke’s overall plan?

Because, in a lot of ways, if you look at it, Season/Book One, was the set up for Season/Book Two to be the story of John. Hold on! Yes, it was about Dean’s coping with “the secret” and Sam’s fear of what he would become, however, it was overall the story of John – his presence was so obvious all throughout season two, it simply amazed me. He was dead and yet so very much present. He sold his soul to save his son, in effect saving BOTH of his sons, and – in the end – he fought his way out of hell in time to help Dean defeat the YED and have that moment of peace with his boys before leaving.

Season/Book Three was set up at the end of Season/Book Two to be Dean’s story. He made the deal to save Sam, to bring back his little brother. The overall story of trying to save him was never far from Sam’s mind or ours. As with any good story, there were continual underlying plots going on – Hendrickson, Gordon, Bela, Ruby … but the main story was Dean’s final year and how his deal affected his life and, more importantly, how it affected Sam’s life.

Tends to make me wonder that Season/Book Four will follow forward with being Sam’s story – it’s been set into motion with Dean’s death. Of course, this is also why I don’t give into speculation a lot … because I will now have to wonder if this is Sam’s season – where will Season/Book Five take us? Ack!

Scrap #7:

Have you noticed that when Sam leaves a bar ahead of Dean he seems to get into trouble? Think about The Benders and Bloodlust. Makes you go “hmmm?”, doesn’t it?

There you have them … a few of my thoughts from the summer to help me open back up my little ramble room and get me prepped for what shall begin tonight.

I think I’m ready.

I have my new notebooks, binder, pens, pencils and highlighter. I’ve got a brand new 1 gig memory card for my computer. I’ve got my new video tapes. I’ve got four new cartons of Ben & Jerry’s (not ALL for tonight) and a brand new box of Kleenex. My comforter has been washed, my pillows have been plumped, my nerf ball has been located and my new Supernatural tea mug (thank you Dragonfly) has arrived.

I know that I’m not ready.

Anticipation has now settled into my stomach like butterflies and the day looms ahead of me, each hour looking like a year. I’m suddenly not sure I’m ready for the roller coaster ride that will begin with tonight’s plummet.

But I will be there.

And then I will be back here.

I hope that you will join me.

Supernatural: Before Another Moment Slips Away

Wed, 30 Jul 2008 18:14:07 GMT

I’m probably going to goof this up and miss someone, but … well, you know how I get when something catches hold of my mind.

A week or so ago, I read this:

“If there are one or more people on your friends list who make your world a better place just because they exist, and who you would not have met (in real life or not) without the Internet, then post this same sentence in your journal.”

It was on Whimsy’s LJ blog that I read it first, but then it traveled. I thought to myself at the time that I wanted to do it too, because I wanted my friends and inmates to understand the joy and fun that they have brought and continue to bring to my life. But, time intervened and the moment was lost.

Last Friday, I man I never met but greatly admired passed away. Last night, there was a beautifully done tribute to him on ABC’s Primetime. Randy Pausch, and his lovely wife Jai were, and continue to be inspirations to me. Wasting not a minute of his life, living each moment to the fullest, he also wasted no time in letting the people in his life know – either by deed or by word – how he felt, how important they were to him.

It got me thinking – last night and then again this morning. In “Real Life”, we have the ability to not only say the words, but to let people know constantly how we feel by our actions. Yet in our "Virtual Life", the words must be said, for it tends to be difficult to actually "see" the actions. It got me thinking that no matter how often I tell my family and friends how I feel in “Real Life”, that I also must find the time to let my “Virtual Life” friends – individually and as a group – how very much they mean to me. I lost “the moment” last week, I was determined not to let it be lost again.

Supernatural gave me the passion to begin to write, however it is your words, your thoughts, your ideas that keep me inspired to continue to “ramble”. Our conversations, both public and private, have given me warm fuzzies and continue to remind me that friendships come in all shapes and sizes and in all manner of distances. So, this little blog is for you … my inmates … my friends … my way of sharing the thoughts I’ve been thinking.

This is in absolutely no particular order:

To the Professor … who brightens my days with her words, whether they are the Supernatural lectures that she so eloquently gives, or whether they are the fiction that keeps my mind imagining,

To Miss Mos … who listens and cares because these days there is no greater gift,

To Gaby … who I think of whenever I see a garden in bloom, like last night when I had to take a detour through a neighborhood and I saw the most beautiful cascading garden – the detour became a delight and it made me think of my friend,

To Rap, my Rap … who makes me smile with her exuberance of life even when she’s not around, like this morning when I pulled up behind a car that had a bumper sticker that proclaimed “Give Blood … Play Hockey” on one side and “Love an Animal, Hug a Hockey Player” on the other side. I immediately laughed and thought of my Rap. Then I saw the license plate was from Michigan … ‘nuff said,

To Miss Kitty … whose smile is evident in her writing and whose laughter is infectious and who is thought of whenever I use more than one “!”,

To Pengy … who keeps me on her toes with her fire wielding ways and whose big heart is always obvious, even in the midst of her seemingly wicked moments,

To Met … who shares and cares so much, whose delight in all things Supernatural related makes me smile, makes me laugh, makes me wonder where the heck she finds all this stuff and thank goodness that she does,

To Whimsy … who broadened my horizons in the quest for a good cup of tea, the BubbleGirl whose playful moments make me laugh and whose contemplative moments keep me thinking,

To Ocean … who, like the water she represents, is alternately peaceful, playful, and fierce – in other words, full of life,

To Coug … who doesn’t mind how long I ramble and whose appreciation is … well … appreciated,

To Idahogirl … whose excitement and cheerfulness is always evident, even in those times when RL hands her “lemons” and work just isn’t fun,

To Toady … who reminds me of the fun of using my inner snark and who makes me think,

To Liesl … who was my first “virtual friend” and whose gift at locating the beautiful pretties and informative articles and videos keep all of us up –to-date on all things Jensen & Jared related,

To BrittPup … whose gentle spirit is a blessing to me and to all she encounters,

To Tana … who is another Oklahoma girl and who is always happy to share her ideas and her thoughts,

To Zofia … whose antics keep me watching, whose joy of prezzies keeps me looking, and whose morning sunshine keeps me happy,

To Sophie and To Arafel … who bring me smiles with their “JensenFanGirlDelight” and whose “faces” are in my mind whenever I write something I know will have them “squeeing”,

To Frenchie … who inspired me to add an international wing to our little sanitarium, who makes me wish I had taken atleast one semester of French, and whose “hospital wing” nursing always keeps us grinning,

To Kooshie … who is … so much … words don’t … ahem … who I can’t wait to “smish”,

To Sadie … whose new virtual friendship is one I am enjoying and look forward to continuing as the new season approaches,

To Panns … whose creativity in all things keep me smiling, keep me laughing, keep me continually blessed, who I thought of this morning as I stood in my favorite bakery ordering my eldest girlie’s birthday cake wishing I could do something as elaborate as some of those she has “baked” for us over the last year,

To Ghosty … whose presence may not always be seen but who I am so glad she is there, whose thoughtfulness for others is just one part of her great heart,

To Rod and To Ranger … who, between them, are our testosterone section, reminding us that Our Show is not just about “girlie sighs”,

To Peachy … who I miss with all my heart and who I hope to hear from again soon,

To Immie, To Shutterbugs, To Lacey, To Lainey, To Hoggle, To Marci, To Rev, To CindyA, To Mousita, To Famin … who all have wandered in and out of my little sanitarium, sharing thoughts, sharing, ideas, sharing pictures and videos and most of all themselves.

To all that I have mentioned and, forgive me please, to all those that I have missed, not to mention those who have lurked, thank you for your inspiration, for your time, for your friendship and for simply stopping by.

Supernatural Un-Book Club Report: Croatoan & Hunted

Wed, 23 Jul 2008 06:23:39 GMT

Hi all! This is going to be short and sassy because it is incredibly late (for me) and I have had an extremely long day which is going to be followed by two more extremely long days (Go ahead ... ask me how much I adore driving an hour and a half each way to attend a meeting each day ... I can promise you the response will not be pleasant.). However, sleep evidently is non-existent tonight, probably due to my guilt in my tardiness in posting this edition of the Un-Book Club and so I have been figuring out how to post to "the club".

I can only beg forgiveness and humbly offer this ... I call it So Far and Yet So Close.

I hope you enjoy it!

And yes ... I do remember that there are quiz answers that need to be posted. I do remember I promised them yesterday. I know that I am late and I WILL make it up ... with prezzies of pretties. Okie doke? :-)

Supernatural: Time for a Birthday Party!

Sun, 20 Jul 2008 01:42:59 GMT

(This is a tradition that I started on my TVGuide blog with Dean's birthday in 2007. For Dean and Sam I write a special story. For Jensen and Jared I put together a little game. I decided to post this here for my friend Sarie and any other Jared/Sam devotees that might want to party as well.)

Party!

Party!

Party!

Yes, it’s that time. It’s time to gather around and have some fun as we open up the Sanitarium’s Party Room and celebrate the birthday of a certain dark haired giant of a young man. By now, most of you know the drill … Dean and Sam get special stories for their birthdays. Jensen and Jared get party games. (I have to insert right here that I am SO INCREDIBLY GLAD that it is Jared’s birthday today and not Sam’s. I don’t believe I could write what that particular birthday would be like during this particular hiatus. Yikes!) Going with tradition, I have a little Jared themed Supernatural Party Game of dialogue fun, mixed with a few visual aids, that I hope you will all enjoy.

So! Welcome everyone to the Party Room! Come in! Come in!! As you can see … if you can make it through the streamers and the balloons … we have a birthday cake (Although, I’m hoping our own little BakerGoat will also whip up one of her delightful creations.) on the sideboard along with various bowls of our boy’s favorite gummies, sour strings, and other assorted candies. Beverages are down below in the mini fridge. Please be sure to help yourself to whatever libation you wish. We have plenty of tables and various forms of comfy chairs for you to choose. I hope you will sit and relax. It’s been a busy summer and it’s not over yet. However, for this special day, we can gather together and celebrate in honor of the tall young man with the twinkling eyes, delightful grin, and infectious laugh.

First … as always … before we get going on our game … I ask you all to take a glass of your favorite drink and join me in a toast to the young actor who brings life and meaning to Dean’s geek-boy little brother, Sam Winchester:

To Jared! Happy Birthday! May your day and year be filled with love, laughter, and joy! Each week you delight us and entrance us with the gift of your talent. You have touched our hearts in so many ways and you have remained true to yourself, which garners our admiration and devotion. Happiest of Birthdays, Jared!! We wish you peace, happiness, and blessings on this your day and always!

*takes drink*

Okie doke …

*rubs hands together*

Now for the party game –

It’s been a very long time since we had any dialogue fun, so that is what we’re going to do today. Between re-watches, videos, DVDs, iTunes … and the basic obsessiveness of my inmates … I’ve had to try and get a bit obscure in order to keep this from being way too easy. We’ll see how you do … or rather, how well I did.

Now, Jared is 26 and that, of course, means we’ve got 26 questions. I’ve broken them into three sections …

1) When did Sammy say it?
2) Dean called Sammy what?
3) Visual Q & A

Ready?

Okie doke.

Section One … When did Sammy say it?

This one is pretty basic folks. I’m gonna give you a line that Sam said. You get to tell me the episode/scene he said it. Piece of birthday cake, right?

Oh! *snaps fingers* Yeah. Tell me the name of the person he’s speaking to and you earn a bonus point.

1. It’s a bracket.
2. You know what you get when you show the world the truth?
3. We did everything we could to stop it.
4. We’ve gotta get outta here, we’ve gotta warn people.
5. You know, I think I will sit on the couch.
6. Is it silver?
7. This man, did he seem to appear and disappear rapidly?
8. Better call the coast guard.
9. That’s the sign.
10. Do you want a poem?

Section Two … Dean called Sammy what?

Sam. Sammy. Dude. Brother. Pain-in-the-a$$. These are the normal names that Dean calls his little brother. But what about the other names he calls Sam? Here’s a list of names that Sam has been called by his brother. Can you tell me the episode?

1. Francis
2. College boy
3. Supernatural freak
4. Tiger
5. Wuss
6. Weirdy McWeirderton
7. Sidekick geek boy
8. Chicken
9. Red-headed woman
10. My boy

Section Three … Visual Q & A

This one is pretty straightforward and simple. I’m going to give you a picture and a question. Easy, right?

1. What’s the color of the poor puppy’s shoe?

2. Where is the boy?

3. What was his alias this time?

4. Who is he talking to?

5. What/who is he looking for?

6. What does he see?

Bonus Question:

How many times (and in which episodes) has Sam actually gotten to drive the Impala during the last three years?

Okie dokie my dears. That's the game. Which of you is truly worthy of the title SammyBabe? It's up to you now. Good luck.

Meanwhile, don't forget why we're all gathered - taking the opportunity to wish Jared Padalecki blessings, joy and all the best in his current and future endeavors. We look forward to seeing him on the screen and in our hearts for years to come!

Happy Birthday, Jared!

Now ... The Keeper must be off to her office. It's her week for the Un-Book Club, so she needs to finish it up. But I'll pop back in as I can to keep an eye, offer a hint, post a present, etc. Official answers & winners will be posted Sunday.

Enjoy!

Supernatural: It's Thursday, How About Some Music?

Thu, 26 Jun 2008 18:52:44 GMT

I don't sing in the shower.

Mainly because I’m usually not awake enough for coherency, let alone trying to string both tune and lyric together.

However, I am one of those people who sing in the car.

I don’t murmur or softly hum along. I’m the one who opens up the sunroof, rolls down the windows, opens mouth wide and belts it out as loud as possible as I’m cruising down the road. I am absolutely in love with one of the nifty little things I have discovered about my new Baby. Doesn’t matter the volume that I have her set with when we begin to pull out of the driveway, because the faster I let her go, the louder she will automatically increase the volume of the song playing. Awesome. Turnpike driving at 75mph is the best, trust me.

I will be the first to admit I don’t sing the prettiest, but no one can say I don’t sing joyfully.

Needless to say, the scene in season three’s No Rest for the Wicked, with Dean and Sam belting it out with Bon Jovi, was a definite season highlight for me.

No doubt about it … Dean loves his music and Sam? Well, he may argue it, but in my humble opinion, I think he enjoys it as well. Afterall, he grew up with the sounds of his brother’s favorite “mullet-rock” songs, and no matter what music he enjoyed at Stanford, when he got back in the Impala, he got back into the music. The three of them unavoidably go hand in hand – Dean, music, and the Impala.

Now … I’m not really the knowledgeable one when it comes to music. I know the songs I like and once the music starts, the words just seem to come. Usually they’re the right words but sometimes I can be like Whoopi Goldberg’s character in Jumpin’ Jack Flash trying to transcribe the words to the title song … smacking the floor and yelling at the stereo “English, Mick! Speak English!” Give me the lyrics to a song cold and I’m of no use. Ask me the title of a particular song and I’ll look at you blankly. I leave the matching the words to the song title skill to those who excel at it *coughMoscoughPengycough*.

You are probably wondering after such a declaration, why I would then be writing about Supernatural music. To be honest, I’m not really sure. That’s kinda why I call this blog a “ramble”. Sometimes I do have a course plotted, things I want to talk about and the path to saying those things charted. Sometimes, I get smacked with something that just gets my mind working in a different direction. That happened to me this week. I had a whole different blog prepared and actually ready to go but a couple of things happened and I decided to save it for next week. (Wow! You mean I’m actually ahead?? Seriously? *takes a moment to relish not being behind*)

Here’s what happened: Tuesday morning I was driving into work. It was one of those really beautiful mornings – a sun filled blue sky dotted with fluffy white clouds, a light breeze continually rippling the trees and the flags along the road. It was the kind of morning made for an open sunroof and windows wide with music playing. I had popped out my CD the previous night and before I could insert a new one, my radio station started playing Bad Company’s Movin’ On. Now, I may not know my music the best, but there are certain songs that just scream a particular scene in my brain and Movin’ On is one of them. It was season one and the episode was Dead in the Water. Dean and Sam are leaving Andrea and Lucas and heading down the road together, looking for their father, following the family business. The words and music blended so perfectly as we watch the Impala drive on down the road.

Not a bad way to start the day, right? Bright sky … open windows … good music … thoughts of Supernatural.

Know what made it better? The next song was a Supernatural song as well.

As Movin’ On finished and before I could clear the boys from my head, here comes the opening notes of BOC’s Don’t Fear the Reaper. Who can hear that song and not think of Faith, not think of the girl running through the forest trying to escape the man in the black suit as her scenes are interspersed with scenes of the boys in their tacky motel room piecing together the information that they have and Dean’s words ...

Dean: “The old man I saw on stage. I didn’t want to believe it but deep down I knew it.”
Sam: “You knew what? What are you talking about?”
Dean: “There’s only one thing that can give and take life like that. We’re dealing with a reaper.”

... what song could possibly have been more apropos?

(I have to share something … I have Don’t Fear the Reaper loaded on my phone as a ringtone. I have it set for when I get a call from either my office or my manager. I thought it was funny. You see … I work with senior adults. *grins* Get it? Heehee!)

The music dies down and the radio station does their little ad moment while I’m sitting at a stop light, waiting to turn onto the highway. As I turned onto the entrance ramp the strains of Kansas’ Carry on My Wayward Son begins. I kid you not. Baby is approaching 65mph and the music just swells and my brain explodes with all seasons of Supernatural scenes crashing in my minds eye. Singing at the top of my lungs, hurtling down the highway, I knew that even though it wasn't Thursday, this week Tuesday was going to be a Supernatural day for me.

Sometimes you just have to give in and accept. As I pulled into the office I was laughing. As I made my way to my desk, I was lighthearted. I had visions of The Boys in my head to entertain me. (Yeah … tell me that doesn’t sound like I should be in a Sanitarium … oh wait! … I am.) What was truly fun was the fact that Tuesday was one of those rare days that I was able to spend time wandering in my little Sanitarium, interacting with my inmates in a way I don’t always get to do.

As I was leaving the office that day, I had to grin to myself and wonder what music might take me home. When I started the car, it was in time to catch the station’s news minute and then advertisements. Then came the music. I nearly stopped dead in the middle of the entrance ramp back onto the highway. Seriously. First song? After the advertisements? CCR’s Run Thru the Jungle. At first I thought it was my phone, since that is my primary ring tone, but it didn’t start right. I couldn’t decide whether to laugh or sing. I chose both. Supernatural had taken me to work that day and it seemed that it was taking me home, beginning with that wonderful scene in Sin City when the boys arrive to check out the town and Dean almost gets waylaid by a woman in the back of a car before Sam comes back to move him along.

As the song’s music died, I briefly wondered if the radio station would continue with its unknowing theme for my day. I didn’t know whether to be pleased or a bit freaked that it did when Styx’s Renegade began to play. For the Supernatural Obsessive, this song’s excellent pairing with The Boys escape from Agent Hendrickson and the bank at the end of Nightshifter, is as infamous as the Ghostbusters phrase “Who you going to call?” Can you honestly say that when you hear the opening lyrics you don’t see The Boys heading up the stairs to the parking garage, decked out in full SWAT gear? Can you honestly say that you don’t see them getting into the Impala, breathing heavy, removing helmets and face masks? Can you honestly say that in the pause of music, you don’t hear Dean’s quiet “We are so screwed” before he starts the car and pulls out to the screaming strains –

“The jig is up, the news is out, they finally found me.
The renegade who had it made, retrieved for a bounty.
Never more to go astray,
This will be the end today of the wanted man.”

Flying down the highway, I was literally in Supernatural heaven.

Unfortunately, the remainder of my drive consisted of the traffic report, weather update, and radio station advertisements, and one final song. It wasn’t a Supernatural song – atleast not yet – but the lyrics of Tesla’s song Signs as I pulled into my driveway had me pulling out my little notebook that I keep tucked in my purse to jot down thoughts and after I turned off the car (but still had the music playing) I wrote down the Supernatural music that I had heard that day. Afterall, the lyrics were telling me … “signs, signs, everywhere there’s signs”. Evidently the music of my day was my sign, indicating that I needed to take a musical look at our favorite show.

Combine my radio adventures with the news that came out Tuesday that Katie Cassidy would not be reprising her role as Ruby in season four. I made the comment in a couple of places that as much as I appreciated Katie, if it was a choice between having her or more music in the budget for season four, I would have to choose the music.

From the very first episode, this show has been about Dean & Sam Winchester, the Impala, and the music. In a very real sense, the music is the fourth main character. I mean no disrespect to Bobby. Bobby is a definite mainstay, yet he is recurring. Season three did not feel right when the music was relegated to a recurring role as well.

Think to season one … who can hear the music of Iron Butterfly’s In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida and not think of Rebecca tied up as the shapeshifter Dean threatened her before escaping in Skin?

What about BOC’s Fire of Unknown Origin? Do you honestly not hear those words and picture Dean pranking his sleeping brother and then belting out the words as he plays the steering wheel in Hell House?

Season two … Everybody Loves a Clown … Three Dog Night’s Shambala backs up the sight of Dean, underneath the wrecked Impala, trying to rebuild the wall around the pain in his heart as he rebuilds his beloved car.

Of course, there’s AC/DC’s Back in Black … first heard in the Pilot as The Boys begin their trip, it’s played again to a shot by shot sequence of the gleaming, restored black beauty of Dean’s Baby in Bloodlust.

Season three did have some excellent moments, though. Asia's Heat of the Moment will be a song that Sam may have once loved but now will forever abhor after continually waking to it after Dean dies in Mystery Spot.

Dean's dream of family was highlighted so poignantly with Dream a Little Dream of Me by The Mamas and the Papas in the episode with the same title.

So many episodes contain such awesome musical backgrounds, the words and the beat of each song blending together with the emotions and actions taking place on the screen. A true Supernatural Obsessive has not only the music but the scenes each song represents, deeply planted in their psyche … the music has been downloaded into our iPods, has been burned to our CD’s. Those of us old enough to remember the songs from their original vinyl albums give thanks to The Kripke for the rejuvenation of the music of our youth. Those who aren’t old enough have been introduced to the classics and found them to be most excellent.

One of the really unique things about a show with an ensemble cast is the way each member of the cast works to support and enhance the acting of the other cast members. Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki effortlessly bring this to mind in their portrayals of Dean and Sam Winchester, both young actors complementing each other by expressions, action/reactions, and words. They play off of each other, learn from each other, take support from each other. The other two members of Supernatural's ensemble cast (again, not slighting Jim Beaver, for he definitely falls in this category) are the Impala and the music.

The Impala may not offer words, but she has her own expressions – the rumble of her engine and the creak of her doors – and she offers her own comfort – the feel of her leather seats, the familiar scents that remind her occupants that when they are inside her, they are home.

In its own way, the music also offers support and comfort to our boys, as well as being expressive and giving word to the moment.

Bob Dylan’s Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door supports Dean in Houses of the Holy as he attempts to make sense of the possibility he had seen “God’s will”.

Queensryche’s Silent Lucidity backs up Sam in his anguish at realizing what he must do to Madison in Heart.

Foreigner’s Cold as Ice offers a play at humor against the incredibly stern faced Ellen in No Exit.

Actors are given the potential to make or break a scene by how they express the words and give life to the character. Isn’t it terrific how The Kripke and his crew have done the same thing with the music of this show? Isn’t it thrilling that the songs they have chosen have not only risen to the occasion, but have enhanced each scene that they background to a point to where those scenes indelibly remain in our minds and our hearts?

Can any other television show say the same thing?